“Oh? And where did you get the idea I was that self-sacrificing? I assure you I can be as selfish as they come given the right circumstances.”
“Then be selfish, dammit. Where can you find more ideal circumstances?”
“I can think of a few.”
She inhaled sharply as a wave of heat shocked through her. He was looking at her as he had that other day, and she became acutely aware of the tension of his muscles, the movement of his chest as he breathed in and out, his eyes . . .
“You shouldn't have brought me here,” he said thickly. “You didn't think far enough ahead. You blunt the pain and you remove the distraction. Believe me, I needed the distraction.”
She wasn't about to pretend she didn't know what he meant. Sex. Raw, hot, urgent. All the more powerful for the bond they shared. She wanted to touch him. She wanted to move her hands on his back and feel him tense against her. How would it be to have him sink—
“Don't even think about it,” Silver said harshly. “I'm trying to keep this thing between us on an even keel. Do you think this is easy for me?”
“I don't care about your even keel.” She got to her feet and moved toward him. “You know what I want.”
“Hell, yes. And I don't know whether I purposely caused it to happen.” His hands reached out and grasped her shoulders. “I tried not to do it. But I wanted you and I might have made sure you wanted me.”
“Don't be so conceited. I believe I'd be able to know whether or not you'd manipulated me when it came to sex.”
“But you can't be sure.”
“I learned when I was fighting fires that there comes a time when you just have to trust your instincts.”
“Listen, you're feeling all warm and soft because you're sorry for me. But unless you back off now, I'm not going to give a damn about the whys or wherefores.”
“Good. Because no matter how this started, it's pretty clear to me that I don't want to go to bed with you because I pity you.” She grimaced. “Maybe I'm just using it as an excuse. Take a peek and you tell me.”
He muttered a curse. “I'm not getting any closer to you than I have to, either mentally or physically. It's not fair to you. In spite of what you say about your wonderful firefighter instincts.”
“Screw being fair to me.” Her fingers touched his lips. They were warm and firm, and a tiny shock of sensation rippled through her. “My instinct tells me that I want this because I find you sexy as hell and that I'd want you if I was blind to that damn talent of yours.”
“What if your instinct is—” A shudder ran through him as she stepped closer and pressed against him. “Shit.” His arms closed around her. “You definitely know how to clinch an argument.” His head bent until their lips were only a breath apart. “Okay, but I have only one qualification. No buffer. No dream-lake scenario.”
Darkness.
Swirling heat.
Skin against skin.
She opened her eyes to see him above her on the bed. It took her a moment to come to full wakefulness. “You took your clothes off. . . .”
“You bet I did.” He pulled her sleep shirt over her head and threw it aside. “I don't want anything between us. Not a piece of material, not a—” He broke off as his chest touched her breasts. “Jesus.”
She knew how he felt. Her skin was flushed, burning, taut, and ready. “I can't— Come here.” Her legs curled around his hips and drew him toward her. “I need you to—” She arched with a cry as she felt him move against her.
“I know. I will.” He bent over her. “Anything you want.”
Anything she wanted, she thought dazedly. He was already giving her what she wanted. But there was something she had to know, something she had to ask. “The lake,” she whispered. “Why did you take me away from the lake?”
“Because I couldn't stand for it to happen there.” He moved between her legs. “Because it's got to be real. . . .”
13
Well, was it real enough for you?” Kerry rose on her elbow to look down at him, trying to catch her breath. “If it wasn't, then you're out of luck. I don't think it gets any earthier than this.”
“We could try again and see.” His hand covered her breast. “I believe in frequent reality checks.”
She chuckled. “I can see why you'd need them.” She flopped back down on the pillow and stretched lazily. “Give me a little time to get my breath. I didn't expect—I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. You're very . . . strong.”
“I didn't hurt you?”
“Don't be ridiculous. You know how much I liked it.” She reached out and rubbed his chest. She loved the prickly feel of hair against her palm. She loved the feel of him, the rough, smooth textures, the hardness. Jesus, how she loved that hardness. “It was just different.”
“I love the way you feel too. Different?”
She laughed. “How can you ask? I've never made love to anyone who knew what I was thinking every minute. It was incredibly exciting.”
“It could have gone either way.” His hand covered her hand on his chest, stilling it. “And I tried to block you out. I thought it would be fairer to you. It didn't work. The bond was too strong.”
“It didn't matter.” It was difficult to be critical at the moment, since this sexual encounter was probably the most intense she'd ever had. He'd known every thought, every emotion, and had been able to meet and escalate them to the height of sensuality. She could still vaguely sense him, but it was the shadow presence to which she'd become accustomed. “I may feel differently tomorrow, but tonight it was definitely a plus.”
“Too late. You can't back out now.” He pulled her closer to lie against him. “You're the one who seduced me. You even turned my own scenario against me. Now you've got to live with it.”
There was a note in his voice that made her stiffen. “What do you mean?”
“I told you I was a selfish bastard. I'm also chock full of the usual testosterone. I'm not giving this up.”
“That has to be a mutual decision.”
“You made your decision.” He was silent a moment. “I . . . like what we are together. I'm usually pretty much of a loner. I have trouble getting close, even in sex. I guess it's because my work forces me into an intimacy that's sometimes suffocating. But it's not like that with you. I felt—Hell, you know how I felt. So I don't care if your decision was based on pity or curiosity. I'm going to do everything I can to keep this happening.”
“And how do you intend to do that?”
“Don't sound so wary. I'm not going to try to force you.” He took her hand and pressed the palm to his lips. “But I learned a lot about you tonight. You can't blame me for using it to make the pleasure so intense you won't want to give it up.” His breath was warm on her palm, and every word was sending a ripple of heat down her arm. “You like this, don't you? Your palms are very sensitive.”
“I like it.” The heat was spreading throughout her body and her breath was quickening. “And I like having sex with you. That doesn't mean I'm going to let you dominate me. I can still take what I want and then walk away. So you just take your best shot, Silver.”
“Oh, I will.” He chuckled as he moved over her. “I can't thank you enough for the invitation. . . .”
The girl was alive.