“So come on, let’s hear it,” Trev’s sister said, voice teasing as she tapped her older cousin’s shoulder.
Mary blushed, guessing she was about to be put on the spot. “Hear what?” she asked, then broke out into nervous humming.
“Come on cuz, you’re 18! Time to settle down with one of your many admirers and start ringing the wedding bells. Which one were you thinking of?”
Trev winced at his sister’s bluntness, especially when Mary blushed even deeper scarlet and wailed, “Lind!” Their cousin’s eyes frantically darted among the small crowd, although she looked reassured that everyone seemed to be focused on their cake, politely pretending they weren’t paying attention to the embarrassing exchange.
Linda looked around too, and her brow furrowed. “Speaking of which, where’s Raul?” She rolled the “R” in an exaggerated fashion. “Didn’t you invite your boyfriend?”
Mary’s embarrassment faded to concern. “I’m not sure if, I mean, we haven’t really…” She sighed. “I invited him, but he didn’t come. It’s no big deal.”
Trev was a bit bothered by that, since it obviously was. At the first opening he politely pulled his cousin aside. “Any idea why he didn’t come? I thought things were going well.”
“They were, kind of.” She gave him a miserable look. “One moment I think he likes me, the next it’s like he’s trying to avoid me.”
“I could go talk to him and see what’s up,” Trev offered.
The blond young woman looked mortified. “Don’t!” Then, hesitating, she said. “Or maybe do. Just, um, don’t put him on the spot. I’m worried about him, but I don’t want to make him feel guilty. He probably had a good reason not to come.”
He patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll go as a friend, not a snoop.”
It wasn’t far to Gutierrez’s cabin, which was a bit back from any of the main lanes between houses. In fact, everything about the structure seemed intended to avoid notice. Was that due to the man’s training and mindset as a soldier, or his personality? Both?
He knocked on the door, and after a moment it cracked open. Unable to get a stove Gutierrez had built a small fireplace, and the subdued flames were enough to dimly light the interior.
“I figured I’d be getting a visit,” the former soldier said. He stepped aside. “Come on in.”
Trev ducked through the doorway. Gutierrez’s cabin was small with a low roof, half buried and well bermed with dirt. It had been built for efficiency, not comfort, which fit the man’s nature. Although two people could live here without crowding if needed. The bed was a scavenged full mattress on a board laid across five carefully leveled stumps, a few odds and ends stuffed underneath.
Raul himself didn’t look fantastic. He was disheveled, dark circles under his eyes, and even indoors he wore his pistol and had his rifle leaning next to the door.
“Mary was a bit worried,” Trev admitted. “I heard she invited you to her party.”
“Yeah.” Gutierrez looked away. “I had a deal with Brandon to keep an eye on each other’s houses when we had to leave. I’ve been a bit paranoid going anywhere without him watching the place.”
That was a valid excuse, although since the man had been making his shifts on patrol duty he must have some other arrangement going. Not to mention he stored all his food in the town storehouse for free thanks to his service with the defenders, so there wasn’t much here worth stealing.
Trev decided to just bite the bullet. “Are you okay, man?”
Gutierrez snorted. “I must not be, since it’s the first thing everyone keeps asking me.” Trev decided to wait instead of answering, and his friend sighed and sank down onto his bed. After an uncomfortably long period of awkward silence he spoke in a low voice. “I’m sorting through things, that’s all. It’s taking me a while.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No.” The former soldier snapped out his answer almost before Trev finished the question.
“Okay.” Trev tried not to fidget. “Can I do anything for you?”
“Just keep me working defending the town.” Gutierrez glanced up at him, then back down to the floor. “I’m glad I have you as a friend. Although I could do without the constant digging into my business.”
“Sure.” It was hard to keep going, but he felt obligated to as reluctant go-between. “Anything I should tell Mary?”
His friend flinched and didn’t look up this time. “Sure. Tell her she’d be better off with someone else.”
“BS,” Trev snapped, almost reflexively. It sort of pissed him off that his friend was tearing himself down like this. “You’re one of the best men I know, whatever issues you’re dealing with.”
The former soldier sighed. “A relationship’s not happening right now, man. I don’t want to lock her down until I can make it work, if I ever could. Let me do her a favor by not wasting any more of her time.”
“Don’t you think you should at least talk this through with her and give her a chance to say her piece?” Trev asked.
“No I don’t, actually. It’s selfish to let someone do something that’s bad for them, even if it’s what they want. I don’t want to be her De—” Gutierrez abruptly cut off, shooting Trev an almost guilty look, and continued stubbornly. “Just tell her.”
Had the guy seriously been about to say what Trev thought he was? Fighting down genuine anger, he nodded. “I’m around if you need me.” He opened the door and started to leave, then couldn’t help himself and turned back. “You know, you can depend on someone, accept their help, without being a burden on them.”
Gutierrez laughed softly. “No you can’t. If the other person’s willing to bear that burden that’s their own business, and there are definitely things that make it worth the sacrifice. But don’t pretend it doesn’t take its toll. Haven’t you noticed that you’ve been bungling your duties while dealing with all your personal issues? Never seriously, but consistently.”
Trev sucked in a breath. That hit a bit too close to the mark, because it wasn’t completely wrong. “We’re all a bit messed up, Raul. That doesn’t change the fact that you’re one of the most honorable and dependable people I know. Don’t beat yourself up over something that isn’t true about you, or let it keep you from being with someone who makes you happy. Remember you can make her happy, too.”
His friend’s lack of response held an unmistakeable tinge of disbelief. After a short wait Trev left and closed the door behind him.
The party was breaking up when he got back, people offering Mary their final farewells and birthday wishes. The evening was turning cold, the fierce winds that had been blowing all day gusting even wilder, and everyone seemed eager to get indoors. Mary looked a bit disappointed that Gutierrez wasn’t with him, and Trev guessed her invitation to the former soldier had extended to the family’s movie and game time as well.
He felt bad for her, and couldn’t bring himself to repeat the man’s message on her birthday. Although there wouldn’t really be any good time for it. Still, it was something that could be saved for morning. So he tried to deflect her questions as Lewis set up the projector and they all settled in to watch.
Chapter Seventeen
Storm
Yesterday’s wind was still going strong when Matt ducked outside to start his morning chores.
This early in the morning it was more than just unpleasant, the windchill making the already cold temperature truly bitter. Matt tucked up his collar and pulled his stocking cap down a bit lower, wondering if he should go back inside for a scarf or balaclava. Then he glanced up at the dark gray sky and decided he should get as much work as he could done before the snows flew, which he was certain would be soon.