“I don’t know, are you asking me if the city will miss you?”
“Angela, do me a favour … I was thinking about Star Films.”
“Apparently they’ve invented these things called mobile phones, you have heard of them, haven’t you?”
“You know I don’t have one.”
“Maybe it’s time you did.”
“I doubt it, but I’ll think about it.”
“Great, welcome to the twenty-first century.”
For a few seconds, Nico said nothing, just chewed his pencil. “You know, I’m going to see a friend of mine who’s started acting like a monkey.”
Nico wondered why he had said that, but then it occurred to him that he was curious to know her reaction.
“Oh,” Angela said. “Have fun.”
“Is that all?”
“What do you mean, ‘Is that all?’”
“I told you I’m going to see a friend of mine who’s started acting like a monkey.”
“Yes, I heard you.”
“Don’t you think that’s odd?”
“To tell the truth, I don’t really give a shit.”
“But he really has started acting like a monkey, grunting, that kind of thing.”
“Well, that’s fine, but—”
“What would you do?”
“What do you mean?”
“If a friend of yours started acting like a monkey.”
“Nico, I have no idea. I’m your agent, not your analyst.”
“Fuck it, Angela, you must have an opinion.”
“Nico, don’t raise your voice to me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Forget it.”
Silence.
“So?”
“So what?”
“This friend of mine. The one who’s started acting like a monkey.”
“Nico, I don’t know. This is turning into a really weird conversation, and I hate weird conversations.”
“So that’s your get-out, is it?”
“What do you mean, my get-out?”
“A friend of yours starts acting like a monkey and the most intelligent thing you can think of to say is ‘I hate weird conversations’.”
“No, that’s what I’m saying to you, because I don’t have any friends who’ve started acting like monkeys.”
“Yes, but—”
“Nico, roll yourself a joint, they say it helps. Now, look, I’m sorry, but I really have to go, I’m very busy, I have to keep this show on the road. Take care.” And she put down the phone.
Nico stared at the receiver for a moment or two, then calmly put it back. He remembered that in films they always put down the receiver without saying goodbye, and that he’d always thought this the height of bad manners. And in fact, it really wasn’t nice, especially when it was your agent who did it. Nico knew other people who had agents, and they all spoke about them almost as friends. Nico had wondered if it was normal for his agent to take the liberties she did, or treat everyone with that kind of maternal arrogance. In the end, Nico had thought about it and concluded that he preferred it this way, and that the last thing he wanted from his agent was a hypocritical show of friendship.
Nico put the pencil back in his mouth and thought again about the story of Piero and the monkey. He wondered what his reaction should be to a piece of news like that, if it was right to feel that strange euphoria which had been his first reaction. He wondered if he ought instead to be worried, or upset, or if he should feel as if a burden had been placed on his shoulders. He often wondered if he had the right reaction to dramatic or intense events that affected his life. At that moment, all he felt was curiosity, a cheerful, almost euphoric interest in an event which, one way or another, would add some colour to his otherwise monochrome life.
All of a sudden, he felt the impulse to go back to his home town and see how things really were. He wanted to know if it was still possible to be surprised. He lifted the receiver again and dialled a number.
“Hello?”
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How are you?”
“Fine. What’s the matter?”
Nico decided to approach things in a roundabout way. “I was just calling to see how you were,” he said.
“Well, pretty much the same as I was an hour ago. What is it, darling?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes, pretty much.”
“But there’s something else.”
“No, not really, it’s just that I have to go home today.”
“What?”
“I have to go—”
“Yes, I heard what you said. No way.”
“Something’s happened that’s out of my control.”
“Oh, yes? And what would that be?”
“A friend of mine has started acting like a monkey.”
There was a moment’s silence.
“That’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard. You know something? Your little fantasies don’t make me laugh the way they used to.”
Nico moved the receiver away from his ear for a moment and looked up at the ceiling. “I swear to you, it’s the truth,” he said. “His sister just called me.”
“And who is this friend?”
“His name’s Piero.”
“And how come whenever we want to go away for the weekend, you always come out with some story about a friend?”
“I have a lot of friends.”
“Don’t be a bastard, Nico.”
Nico screwed up his eyes and tried to stay calm. “But I’m sure I’ve talked to you about this one.”
“A friend of yours who behaves like a monkey? I don’t think so. I have a feeling I’d have remembered something like that.”
“He didn’t use to behave like a monkey. He only started this summer.”
“And before that, what did this friend do?”
“You mean, what work did he do?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Nico, don’t mess me about.”
“He’s done a bit of everything.”
“I’ve never heard of this friend of yours, and you can’t even think up a plausible profession for him. I keep telling you, I can’t stand lies.”
“I’ve never lied to you.”
“So you say.”
It was frustrating. However hard Nico thought about it, he couldn’t remember when and where this thing about lies had started. All he knew was that overnight his witty, understanding, tolerant girlfriend had turned suspicious and started questioning everything he told her. She had convinced herself that he was lying to her. At first, Nico had thought it was a phase, maybe she was a little stressed out and just needed to let off steam. But then it had continued, so Nico had tried telling some real lies. It had worked.
Today, though, he’d thought he’d be honest.
“It’s that strange, brilliant friend of mine who’s been a painter, among other things.”
“Oh, the one whose father died. The one who’s done all kinds of things?”
“Yes, that’s right, that one. You see, you do remember.”
“I’ve never been convinced about this friend of yours.”
Nico lowered the receiver and held it against his thigh, glancing to one side in exasperation, as if someone was in the room with him. There were times when he found her suspicions, her incredulity, quite endearing, but this wasn’t one of them. Right now, all he really wanted to do was have a little laugh with his girlfriend about Piero who had started acting like a monkey, then hang up and run and catch the first train to his home town.
“Listen, Giada, let’s not fuck around,” Nico said. “What’s eating you? To be honest, I’m not in the mood for games right now. Why do you have to come out with this crap?”
“Because every time we’re supposed to be doing something nice to pick up the pieces of our relationship, something comes up that you can’t postpone.”
“I didn’t know we were trying to pick up the pieces of our relationship.”