Her interest in a man, she revealed, always derived from the color of his eyes and the tone of his voice, which she had ‘‘the ability to distinguish in detail and concerning which she had a wealth of experience.’’ This wasn’t to say that she preferred romantic love- no, she detested it and thought it contrived. However, any man who measured up to her standards would have overwhelming happiness with her in bed. At such times, she would be uninhibited. She would spare nothing, and her partner would reap satisfaction such as he had never known before. From this, you can also see that she had a high opinion of herself-so high it sounded like boasting. She also divulged that although her standards might change, she could always promptly find the right men. Once she found one, she would pursue him to the end: she wouldn’t give up halfway-never! — unless irrefutable evidence proved her mistaken. Only then would she ‘‘turn back.’’
After all this blustering, her colleague tried every trick in the book to lead her to talk of her ‘‘illicit affair,’’ hoping to experience it vicariously. ‘‘What do you think of men’s physiques?’’ ‘‘Which is better-a big guy or a little one?’’ ‘‘What’s the difference between a married man and a virgin?’’ ‘‘Which is more exciting-a gentle type or a wild one?’’ But Madam X became deadly serious. It was as though she refused to comment on specific individuals and wanted a purely scientific discussion. She remained silent and looked as though she pitied her colleague and wanted to give her a hand. Her attitude provoked her colleague to spring to her feet (taking the opportunity to kick her) and shout that she was ‘‘a whore pretending to be a saint.’’ She was so wanton that, as soon as she was with a man, all she wanted from the first minute was ‘‘to go to bed.’’ ‘‘Going to bed’’ was the only truth. There was not the least reason to believe her self-worship bullshit. Unless her organs were defective, only a fool would believe that she would let the opportunity for such joy slip away. God only knew how many men she’d been with over the years. Otherwise, how could she have ‘‘the ability to distinguish in detail, as well as a wealth of experience with men’’?
Shrugging, Madam X patiently explained that she couldn’t convey her perceptions with words. She was indeed a little different from other people. Something others thought impossible happened to her. She couldn’t help it. Please don’t think she had closed down: actually, the door to her heart was open, and she’d been looking forward to being with people (including ‘‘making it’’ with men), but she hadn’t succeeded, and her experience had ‘‘calmed her’’ long ago.
After the colleague left, she dropped in on Old Woman Jin. As it happened, Old Woman Jin and the coal worker had just gotten it on and were bare-assed. Because the female colleague blew in like a gust of wind (Old Woman Jin never bolted her door), they instantly sat up under the quilt but didn’t move. They chatted with Madam X’s colleague and petted each other affectionately. The colleague brought explosive news: Madam X was going to get married. Old Woman Jin was astonished. After looking all over for her trousers, she covered herself with a chemise and jumped out of bed. Then, she fired off a string of questions: Madam X is already married-how can she ‘‘get married’’? Is this legal? Since she’s going to get married, why didn’t she do it either sooner or later? Why did she have to do it at this point-at the very time when Old Woman Jin was on the brink of success in love and was about to overwhelm Madam X in this arena? If she got married, wouldn’t all of Old Woman Jin’s efforts be wasted and she’d be up a creek? What on earth was Madam X up to? Was it possible that this gossip wasn’t true at all and was meant only to confuse people? The colleague was laughing, urging Old Woman Jin to calm down. She sat her bottom down on the bed and crushed the coal worker’s foot. He pulled back with a grimace. ‘‘Madam X,’’ the colleague said slowly, ‘‘Madam X is really an invincible and mighty person!’’ and Old Woman Jin trembled all over.
She told them that Madam X was her best friend and that she was the strongest woman she’d ever encountered. All she had to do was crook her finger and people would do her bidding. If anyone tried to take advantage of her or set himself against her, he ended up the worse for it. Without turning a hair, she could set a deathtrap for him. As for her, she felt fortunate to have made such a friend, and if she had to exhaust all of her energy to defend Madam X’s reputation, she wouldn’t hesitate in the least. As for Madam X’s power over men, of course she-Old Woman Jin-couldn’t dispute this. Madam X simply didn’t give her a thought. Old Woman Jin might feel she’d triumphed over Madam X by getting into bed with the coal worker. But Madam X didn’t notice this trivial thing at alclass="underline" she simply wasn’t aware of it, because she was a woman of great talent and bold vision- how could she care about a guy like this? Even if he persisted in thinking he was important to Madam X, this was just unrequited love, and Old Woman Jin’s tactics were based only on misconcep- tions-an immature game, an irrelevant plaything, better not even to deal with. If Madam X can be said to have any real rival, it can only be she-Madam X’s best friend: she’s the only one she’s afraid of. For she’s the one who knows all of Madam X’s secrets, who best understands Madam X’s strange nature, and who has at least as much power to charm men. Who else would Madam X be afraid of? And so, although she is Madam X’s best friend, she’s also the rival that Madam X worries about. After years of observing men falling for Madam X’s charm, she has figured out her trump cards. The most useful is sexual innuendo. In this, Madam X is extremely vulgar: she always talks directly to her partner of her ‘‘desires’’ and then waits for the person to be aroused so she can control him. Of course, she isn’t aroused-and even cruelly mocks her partner for his physiological response. This trump card has withstood the test of time, and it wins every time. This is merely because most men are good-for-nothings; their very birth was a mistake. After she had observed and understood Madam X’s inner steeliness, Madam X was scared to death and sought her out numerous times to explain herself. She said she wasn’t a bystander where men were concerned, that now and then she looked forward to a sexual relationship with an ideal man, but she ‘‘couldn’t find her ideal’’ and so turned out to be the way she is today. The colleague saw through her. Madam X was afraid this weak spot would become public knowledge and she would lose her admirers. Of course the colleague would never stab Madam X in the back. She just wished to make Madam X less arrogant. She isn’t the only woman in the world. Someone else is much better; someone else is calm and modest. Why can’t Madam X be like this? She wasn’t inclined toward riotous passion-why did she have to fake it? Although it satisfied her vanity, what a blow to the men of the world (even if they were just garbage).
The colleague stopped and looked out the door. Then she bolted it securely and turned around. ‘‘Not long ago,’’ she whispered, ‘‘there was a guy-I’m not exaggerating-he used to be one of her admirers, but after discovering me, he finally saw the light: he realized what real feminine charm is. I certainly didn’t intend to steal her business. Not me. Each time, I just stayed off to one side, but men noticed me. This wasn’t my fault; it was the awakening of their inner maleness. Oh my God! The real thing is here! Oh my God! The shimmering pearl is right here! This happened lots of times, too many to count. If I revealed the numbers, she’d be too ashamed to show her face. She completely overlooked me, this crazy person.’’ She suddenly felt empty inside. ‘‘Why don’t you light the stove in your house?’’ she yelled. Then she kicked the stove until it fell over and red coals scattered on the floor. Then, swinging her arms, she took her leave.