I ran a hand over the page, touching the paper as if I could connect with Melody. Emily sat next to me on the bed, reading over my shoulder as she gripped my arm with both hands. Tears streaked her face and I saw my own pain mirrored there as we read on.
Friday 19th September.
Grandpops went looking for mum last night and he didnt come back either. Nana keeps crying and I cant make her happy but I’m scared too so we both cry. She keeps making food but I cant eat. I want dad to come. If he comes I know he will find mum and grandpops and well be ok. I had to poo in the garden today because the toilet is too full. Nana says grandpops will fix it when he gets back but I dont think he’s coming back. I’m scared.
Friday again some men have come to the house and nana thought it was mum and grandpops and she opened the door and they came in and made us sit on the sofa while they started eating all the food without cooking it and one of them took a poo behind the sofa and it smells and then he used the curtains instead of paper because we haven’t got any left. I felt sick and I tried to run away but they shut me in the bedroom and then I heard nana fighting with them but they went outside and then I couldnt hear her anymore. I HATE THEM
My hands almost tore the diary in two as they clenched into fists. My throat burned with the need to find these men, to tear them apart with fingers and teeth if I had to, to find out what they had done with my daughter. I thought I’d felt rage before but that paled into laughable comparison to this, this inferno that raged inside me.
I sprang up from the bed, almost sending Emily flying.
“Malc,” she said, but I shook my head, unable and unwilling to hear anything that wasn’t the screams of the men who had hurt my little girl.
Images that no parent should have to face sprang to mind, feeding the flames until I felt as if I was going to burst.
I needed air, needed space to breathe before I exploded, but as I reached for the front door I heard a sound that froze me to the spot, hand halfway to the handle.
Melody’s bike bell.
It was ringing frantically out in the street as if in warning. My hand moved again, flinging the door open as I raced out, feet barely touching the ground as I hurtled towards the Landrover and the three figures next to it.
Two were scruffy, unkempt figures, men in their late twenties and filthy clothes, but it was the third person that drew all my attention.
Sitting on her bike, wearing a stained pink t-shirt and grubby jeans, her hair greasy and matted to her head, was Melody. One of the men had a black-fingernailed hand held casually around her throat while the other man examined the Landrover.
“Daddy!” Melody shrieked, “I knew it was you!”
She turned to the man holding her as best she could with her neck in his grip.
“See? I told you he’d come for me and now he’s going to kill you like you killed Nana.”
I took all this in as I ran, head lowered to charge the men and tear them apart.
The men had different ideas, however, the one by the Landrover quickly stepping behind it to use it as cover while the other lifted Melody bodily off her saddle with one hand, while a large kitchen knife appeared in the other and was placed with the blade under her chin.
“Steady now mate,” he called out, “unless you want Melody kebab.”
The world stopped moving, or I did, I wasn’t sure. My anger turned to sick fear as Melody kicked once, then stopped as the blade was pressed hard into her soft skin.
“Hey, put her down, we’ll give you anything you want,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on Melody’s. “It’s ok baby, don’t worry, I’m going to fix everything.”
The look of hope on her face made me sick. Somehow, even with a knife at her throat and me with no cards to play, she believed that I would make everything ok.
The man holding her looked at his friend.
“What if we want to keep the girl?”
I shook my head. “Not going to happen. I’d rather we both die than you take her anywhere.”
He glanced at his friend again and shrugged.
“What about the car?”
“You can have it.”
“Where’s the keys?”
“My friend has them.”
“Well call him out then. Don’t want no surprises.”
I looked back to see Emily in the shadows of the hallway, pistol in hand but unsure what to do.
“It’s ok Emily, come out,” I called, and she tucked the pistol behind her leg but kept it in her hand. As she walked out into the sunlight both the men whistled.
“Tell you what, we’ll take her and the car for the kid.”
I shook my head. “No, our deal is for the car. And besides, if you took her with you you’d be dead before you got half a mile.”
“What a way to die though!”
“Please, just put Melody down, you’re hurting her.”
Her captor started to comply, and as soon as her feet touched the ground Emily snapped the pistol up, drawing a bead on his forehead.
Before she could fire, however, he saw the movement and jerked Melody off her feet. She gave out a strangled squeal as he dangled her in front of his face.
I took a step forward before I could stop myself, almost crossing into Emily line of fire.
“Easy now,” he said, “how about we take the gun and the car, eh?”
I ignored him, tearing my eyes away from Melody long enough to look at Emily.
“I need the keys.”
She dug into her pocket with her free hand and held them out to me. I took them and turned back to the men, the second one now crouched behind the Landrover, only his eyes visible through the window.
“I throw you the keys,” I said, “and you give us Melody.”
“Yeah right. I let the girl go and she shoots us. I’m not fucking stupid.”
“Fine. I give you the keys, your friend there starts it up and once he’s behind the wheel you can get in, but Melody stays outside. You try and move her an inch into the vehicle and my friend here will shoot both of you and damn the consequences. That’s my final offer. Anything else and whatever else happens today, you both die.”
I let some of the anger bleed into my voice. It must have been enough, as the men didn’t even look at each other.
“Fine. Throw us the keys.”
I did, watching as they landed next to the rear wheel. The second man scooped them up and jumped in, starting the engine almost immediately. He leaned over and opened the passenger door, while the man holding Melody edged closer, then used the door as a shield while he climbed into the vehicle.
For one horrible second I thought they were going to try and escape with Melody, but then I saw her dirty white trainers hit the road and the Landrover shot off like a cork out of a bottle, barely slowing as it pulled a U-turn and disappeared out of the close.
I only saw this out of the corner of my eye as I ran for Melody, scooping her up from the road and lifting her chin to check that she was ok.
Up close she stank, her face crusted with dirt and dried food but I didn’t care as I crushed her to my chest and rocked her back and forth, tears streaming down my face once again.
“Oh my baby, my baby, I thought I’d lost you,” I said through the tears, her head tucked under my chin. “I’m sorry it took me so long, I’m so, so sorry.”
She hugged me back, tears of her own cutting tracks through the filth as she pulled away to look up at me.