“Ssssh – ssssh.” He holds her closure to his chest, continually rocking. A last violent gurgling cough, then silence. Her tiny body goes limp and the girl’s hand-made wooden doll falls from her lifeless hands, the once bright intelligent eyes become vacant. He knows she is gone, but still he rocks her.
From the door, one of the other soldiers pokes his head in “C’mon man, let’s go!… Lieutenant?… Hey Ed!…”
ONE
Ed jerked himself out of his daydream to see his car wandering across the broken yellow-painted strips of the center-line of the road, an almost subconscious movement of his hands to the right and he was back on his side of the road. Those memories of so many years past hadn’t troubled his sleep for a few years and he thought he had conquered the knack of avoiding the thoughts during his waking hours, but she had been a constant companion these last few weeks and had crept up on him once again during the day, taking him by surprise. Ed Saunders tried to put thoughts of his Army days out of his mind and turned his attention back to the shimmering heat haze that emanated from the empty blacktop ahead of him. The road seemed to go on like an endless river of molasses, tirelessly flowing towards an unseen and distant ocean. He was nearing the end of his trip, and except for the recurring nightmare, he felt tired but fairly content. He knew that with the sales he would make in the town of Ludlow up ahead, he would finally clinch the title that had eluded him these last 15 years, ‘Ohio’s Salesman of the Year’ awarded by the computer manufacturing company he had slaved for all these years. It wasn’t just the prize of a brand new Buick or even the fat bonus that had spurred him on, although that was great of course. Nope, it was finally beating Jonesy, Bob “you’ll never beat me you loser” Jones, the arrogant S.O.B.
If everything that Eilenne in the office had said yesterday over the phone was true, this time Jones was truly beat, unless of course he happened upon a major earthquake, the epicentre of which, occurring in the township up ahead. The deals were all but signed and the computers were ready to freight, he couldn’t lose and he felt good, well as good as it could be in the circumstances. Would he have decided to take early retirement at the end of this year if he hadn’t beaten Jones? He doubted it; their rivalry had turned into a bitter feud, stepping out of the bounds of work and into each other’s private lives. He had lost Jeanette to Jones, oh, some six years ago now, so it was just as well they hadn’t had any kids; her medical problem, not his, but, even so, there was a hole there; a feeling of something lost. Who said you don’t miss what you never had? Crap! He‘d lost his wife and his best friend. He didn’t blame Jeanette at all actually, quite the opposite in fact. He had given himself tirelessly to his work hunting down sales that needed longer trips. And he had to admit on some of those longer trips he had sought some company on occasions. It was a hollow comfort though; a waitress from a diner, a female client or two. He wasn’t proud of it, and he never mentioned them to Jeanette, but when he got home his guilt manifested itself by him being short tempered with her. She had given him the most precious time, the early years when they both had their youth and vitality, moving around the country every few years to a new office with Jeanette following and setting up a wonderful home, and that’s how he had repaid her sacrifice. Ironically now he was single those irregular nocturnal interludes happened less and less frequently as he aged. He looked into the shaving mirror some mornings and saw his own father frowning back at him. His short brown hair peppered with grey, the laughter lines a little deeper and the frequent TV dinners and beer had started to transform his once athletic body. Young women may not find him as attractive as they once used to but he still got the occasional admiring looks, and he could still sell with the best of them, and this year he had proved it! He had come out fighting and won, but even now, after six years he still thought of her most days, not with jealousy or hate, just with a fondness for the good times and regret for lost times.
Ed knocked the windscreen wiper stalk. WHOOSH, WHOOSH. The windscreen wipers moved just once lazily across the windscreen and settled back into place but they made little impact on the dust-encrusted windshield. Just looking at the horizon through the shimmering heat haze hovering above the blacktop made Ed’s throat feel like part of the parched terrain passing by, the late afternoon sun beat down relentlessly, thank heaven for air-conditioning. The miles and miles of wheat crops surrounding him looked to his untrained eye as if they were struggling and desperate for water. He sipped the last of a warm Mountain Dew soda then tossed the can onto the passenger seat, the few remaining drops of soda escaping and soaking into the grey cloth upholstery. Tuned into the local radio station, Ed started to hum along to an old Britney Spears song; he looked ahead into the blue-tinted world seen through his Ray-Ban Aviators, seeking out signs of the town across the rolling landscape. He thought he could just make out a couple of the larger chimneys and grain elevators on the outskirts of the small farming town of Ludlow, in the north-west of Ohio. Over to his right, he could make out the silhouette of a small mountain range. Geography wasn’t one of his strengths but he thought it would be the Allegheny Plateau, a low mountain range that ran all the way from New York down through western Pennsylvania, parts of West Virginia and down into Ohio. Steering with his knees Ed rummaged through the debris of old burger wrappers, empty coke cups and gum wrappers, searching for something. He wrapped his sun-weathered hand around a road map of the state and tugged, spilling more junk onto the floor. Not for the first time he pondered on the bonuses of getting himself one of those GPS things. Considering he sold technology, he freely admitted to being a bit of a luddite and fought against getting the latest gadgets from Silicon Valley. He glanced briefly at the map to make sure he had taken the correct exit off of Route 71 then threw it over his shoulder onto the back seat. The cars built-in compass told him he was still heading generally northeast towards Cleveland which was the right direction at least, and he was definitely in Marion County. His fingers drummed the wheel in time to Miss Spear’s toxicity. Relief at seeing the sign for Ludlow town limits turned to mild frustration as static charged from the radio, he pressed the SEEK button to find a stronger signal but static was the only station now available. Ed’s five-year-old Mercury Sable rumbled passed the town limits sign while he fiddled with the tuner, trying to be rid of the noise of swarming insects emanating from the radio.