"Only that at the end of her visit the Chancellor saw her to her landau saying: `I have been delighted to forget the affairs of the world for a time.' The Princess returns to her watering-place, her husband is summoned back from Berlin, and the Emperor thanks her joyfully for saving the peace of Europe." Blowitz swilled and sniffed his brandy. "And that, my boy, is all the lady’s tale."
"Well, I’ll be damned! That’s one you wouldn’t send to The Times! D’you believe her?"
"Without doubt. What woman would invent such a story? Also, I know when I am being deceived."
I didn’t disbelieve it myself—although the Emperor’s part took a little swallowing. And yet … if he truly believed that a week’s rogering with a royal flashtail would put Otto in trim and keep the ship of state on a smooth course, why not? Bismarck would be all for it—he’d been the town bull around Schonhausen in his young days, and would be just as randy in his sixties. Well, it was an interesting piece of gossip, and confirmed that the haughty Princess Kralta was partial to mutton—come to think of it, Blowitz had a gift for encountering females who were patriotic riders, hadn’t he just? And of introducing ’em to me, bless him. Well, well. I returned to the point—which had suddenly become clear to me.
"Well, Blow, I’m grateful to you for rehearsing the lady’s character for me," says I. "Very instructive, possibly useful. Of course," I went on carelessly, "the secret which she believes she can learn only from me is the one that Bismarck’s dying to know—how you got the Berlin Treaty in advance. That’s it, ain’t it?"
For once he was taken flat aback. His blue eyes popped, his jaw dropped, and then he burst out laughing.
"Oh, but you should have been a journalist!" cries he. "And I hoped to amaze you with my denouement! How did you guess?"
"Come, now, what other secret do I have that she could want to know? But if you’re willing to let her have it, why not tell her yourself?" I nearly added that he could have charged her a delightful price for it (as I fully intended to, given the chance), but I knew that wasn’t his style. Odd fish, Blowitz; ready and willing to put me in the way of fleshly delights, as he’d shown in the past, but strict Chapel himself. He regarded me seriously.
"I shall tell you," says he slowly. "The Princess’s confession to me of her visit to Prince Bismarck moved me deeply. En fait, she was saying to me: `Here is my trust, ma confiance, my honour as a woman; I place it in your hands, Blowitz.' Oh, my dear ’Arree, quel geste! What trust, what proof of devoted affection!" So help me, he was starting to pipe his eye. "From such a woman, so worldly, so intelligent, so sensible, it could not fail to awaken in me emotions of gratitude and obligation. It gave her the right to demand from me an equal proof of my friendship, my trust in her. You, my friend, will see that, I know."
Well, I didn’t, in fact, but I ain’t a besotted Bohemian. He sighed, long and solemn, like an old horse farting.
"When she renews her request that I divulge my secret, I feel I can no longer refuse. It means much to her, since it will enable her to gratify Prince Bismarck, and it can bring no harm to me. I resolve, then, to tell her."
He took another gulp of brandy, leaned towards me, and became dramatic, as though he were telling a ghost story in whispers.
"We are in her salon, seated upon a sofa that stands against a great mirror covering the wall behind us. The salon is dim, the curtains drawn, the only light comes from a candelabrum on the table before us. As I prepare to speak, I see one of the candles flicker. I am astonished. All doors and windows are closed, so whence comes this draught? I move myself on the sofa—and a zephyr from the direction of the minor fans my cheek. What can it mean, I ask myself. And then—I know!"
You never saw such desperate bad acting—hands raised, eyes and mouth agog, worse than Irving hearing the bells. Then he glared like a mad marmoset, one finger outthrust.
"I realise I am the victim of treachery, which I hate above all else in the world! I closely scrutinise the mirror! What do I see but that a gap has opened in the glass! So! One stands behind the mirror, a witness to take down what I say! I rise, pointing to the flickering flame, then to the cloven mirror, just as the Princess puts out a hand to remove the candlestick. I address her in a voice which I vainly strive to render calm. `Too late, madame!' I cry. ’I have understood!' She touches an electric button, a door opens, a butler enters, and without a word the Princess indicates to me the way to the door. I bow. I withdraw. I leave the house."
He dried up there abruptly, looking expectant, so I said that after such a thrilling tale I was surprised that five masked chaps with stilettoes hadn’t leaped on him in the hall. He said stiffly that they hadn’t, and the mortification he felt at her duplicity had been keener than any stab wounds. I said that I gathered he was still on terms with the lady, though, and he blew out his cheeks in resignation.
"Que voulez-vous? Am I one to bear a grudge against a beautiful woman? True, our relationship cooled for a time—until a few weeks ago, in effect, when she begged me to visit her, and pleaded that the importance she had attached to learning my secret had made it imperative that she have a witness. Her contrition was expressed with such charm and sincerity that I forgave her at once, and she then confessed that she had a favour to ask of me. I had once told her, had I not, that among my friends I numbered the celebrated Sir Harry Flashman? I replied that you were my best of friends, and she sighed—oh, such a sigh!—and cried out `Ah, that hero! What I would give to meet him!' I assured her that it could be arranged—and then," he twinkled mischievously, "it occurred to me that here was an opportunity to repay you, cher ’Arree, for your great service to me in Berlin. `It happens,' I told her, `that Sir Harry also possesses the secret of the Congress treaty. No doubt he could be persuaded to divulge it to one so charming as yourself.' My friend, she was overjoyed, and urged me to effect an introduction without delay." He beamed at me, stroking his whiskers. "You see my thought—while I do not doubt your ability to captivate a lady who already holds you in the warmest regard, it will do no harm if you are also in a position to answer a question to which she attaches such importance. It will amuse you to be … persuaded, non?"
I studied the innocent-cunning face, wondering. "Subtle little devil, ain’t you, Blow? Why are you so obliging? You know how I’ll make her pay for the secret—are you using me as a penance for her sins, by any chance?"
"My dear friend! Ah, but that is unkind! When I have no thought but to amuse you! Oh, perhaps I am also taking my little revenge on la Grande Princesse by making her a suppliant to one less foolishly sympathetic than Blowitz. But who knows," he tittered, "it may end by amusing her also!"
"If you mean that she’ll find me a welcome change from Otto Bismarck, I’m flattered," says I, and asked when I’d meet the lady. He became mysterious again, saying it would be for tomorrow night, but wouldn’t tell me where. "Be patient, my friend. I wish your rendezvous to be a surprise, what you call a treat—my petit cadeau to you. Believe me, it will be a most novel meeting-place—oh, but romantic! You will be delighted, I promise, and I will have made you a trifling repayment towards the debt I owe you for Berlin."
So I humoured him, and agreed to be at my hotel, the Chatham, the following evening, with my valise all packed. His mention of Berlin had reminded me of Caprice, but he had not seen her in two years. "After the Congress I heard of her in Rome and Vienna, but nothing since, and I do not inquire, since I suppose her work is of a secret nature still. Ah, but she had the true gift of intrigue, la petite Caprice! Decidedly she must marry an ambassador of promise; then her talents will have full play, eh?"
Looking back, I guess Blowitz’s "treat" was a sight to see. The first of anything usually is, and the inauguration which took place in Paris that Sunday night was historic, in a Froggy sort of way. If I wasn’t unduly impressed, Blowitz himself was partly to blame; one evening of his company was always about my limit, and his enthusiasm for his "petit cadeau" was such that I was quite put off beforehand, and a day spent loafing in the hotel hadn’t raised my spirits. The small unease that had been in my mind on the Channel crossing had returned, as it always does when I ain’t quite sure what I’m being pushed into, or why, and when Blowitz collected me from the Chatham as dusk was falling, I was carrying a decided hump—all the greater ’cos common sense told me I’d no reason for it.