Blowitz was in a fine excitement, greeting me exuberantly, telling the cabby to make all haste to the Place de Strasbourg, and parrying my inquiries with a waggishness which set my teeth on edge: all would be revealed presently; yes, we had a small journey to our rendezvous with Princess Kralta, but everything was arranged, and I would be transported in more ways than one—this with a hysterical giggle as he bounced up and down on his seat, urging the driver to hurry. I fought down an urge to kick the little chatterbox out of the cab, and consoled myself with the thought I hat presently I’d be having my wicked way with that fine piece of blue-blooded batter; the vision of her imperious figurehead and strapping form had been in my mind all day, competing with my vague unease, and now that the reality was in prospect, I was becoming a mite impatient.
Shortly before seven we pulled up at the canopied entrance of the Gare de l’Est, Blowitz clamouring for porters and hurrying me into the concourse—so our "small journey" was to be by rail, which meant, I supposed, that Madame’s mansion lay in one of the fashionable districts outside the city.
The station seemed uncommon busy for a Sunday night. There was a great crowd milling under the electric lamps, but Blowitz bustled through like a tug before a liner, flourishing a token and announcing himself with his usual pomposity to a blue-coated minion who conducted us through a barrier to a less-crowded platform where knots of passengers and uniformed railway officials were waiting beside a train. All eyes were turned to it, and I have to say it looked uncommon smart and polished, gleaming blue and gold under the lights, but otherwise ordinary enough, the steam hissing up from beneath the engine with that pungent railway smell, the porters busy at the five long coaches, on one of which the curtains were drawn back to reveal the glowing pink interior of a dining salon—and yet there was an unwonted hush about the working porters, an excitement among the throng watching from the barrier, and an air of expectancy in the little groups on the platform. Blowitz stopped, clutching at my arm and staring at the train like a child in a toy shop.
"Ah, gaze upon it!" cries he. "Is it not the train of trains—the ultimate, l’apogee, le dernier cri of travel! Oh, my boy, who was the genius who said `Let the country build the railway, and the railway will build the country'? And not only a country—now a continent, a world!" He flourished a hand. "Behold that which will be called the monarch of the rails, as it prepares for its first journey!" He turned to beam up at me, his eyes glistening moistly. "Yes, this is my surprise, my treat, my petit cadeau to you, dearest of friends—to be one of the select band who will be the pioneers on this historic voyage! You and I, ’Arree, and a mere handful of others—we alone will share this experience, the envy of generations of travellers yet to come, the first to ride upon the magic carpet of the steel highway—l’Express Orient!"
The name meant nothing then, since this was only the inception of what I suppose is now the most famous train on earth—and to be honest, it still don’t mean that much. I’m a steamship man, myself; they don’t rattle or jolt, I don’t mind the occasional heave, and the feeling of being snug and safe appeals to my poltroon nature—once aboard, the world can’t get at you, and if danger threatens you can usually take to the boats or swim for it. Trains I regard as a necessary nuisance, but with Blowitz bouncing and pawing my sleeve I was bound to be civil.
"Well, much obliged, Blow," says I. "Handsome of you. It looks a capital train, as trains go—but how far is it going, eh?" It didn’t look district line, exactly, but my question was ignored.
"Capital! As trains go!" squawks he, flinging up his hands. "Milles tornades! This you say of the supreme train de luxe! A veritable palace upon wheels, the reassertion of privilege in travel! Why, thanks to my good friend Nagelmacker, le haute monde may be carried to the ends of the continent in the luxury of the finest hotel, sleeping and waking in apartments of elegance and comfort, dining on the superb cuisine of a Burgundian chef, enjoying perfect service, splendid wines, everything of the best! And all this," he concluded triumphantly, "for two thousand miles, from Paris to Constantinople, in a mere ninety hours, less than—"
"What’s that? You ain’t getting me to Constantinople!"
He crowed with laughter, taking my arm to urge me forward. "No, no, that is for me, not for you, cher ’Arree! I travel on, about my business, which will be to seek interviews with ministers and crowned heads en route, with a grand finale in Constantinople, where I hope to obtain audience of the Sultan himself. Oh, yes, Blowitz works, while you—" he glanced roguishly from me to the train "—journey only as far as Vienna, in the company of royalty more agreeable by far. Aha, that marches, eh? A day and a night in her charming company, and then—the city of the waltz, the Tokay, of music and romance, where you may dally together by the banks of the enchanted Danube—"
I managed to stem his Cook’s advertising at last. "You mean she’s on the train?"
He raised a finger, glancing round and dropping his voice. "Officially, no—the sleeping coach reserved for ladies will be unoccupied until Vienna. However," he nodded towards one of the darkened coaches, "for such a distinguished passenger as Her Highness, accommodation has been found. And now, my immovable Englishman," cries he grinning all over his fat cheeks, "you will tell me at last that you are glad you came to Paris, and that Blowitz’s little gift pleases you!"
Whatever I replied must have satisfied him, for he bore me off to meet the other passengers, all of whom seemed to know him, but in fact I wasn’t at all sure that I liked his "petit cadeau". I’d come to France to skulk and fornicate in peace, not to travel; on the other hand, I’d never visited Vienna, which in those days was reckoned first among all the capitals of Europe for immoral high jinks, and a day and a night of luxurious seclusion with Her Highness should make for an amusing journey. The last railroad rattle I’d enjoyed had been the voluptuous Mrs Popplewell on the Baltimore line in ’59, and rare fun it had been—until she pitched me off the train, and I had to hightail it for dear life with the Kuklos in hot pursuit. Still, the Three Fates were unlikely to be operating in Austria—oh, the blazes with it, what was I fretting for?[See Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, which recounts, inter alia, his adventures with the Kuklos, the forerunner of the infamous Ku Klux Klan, and its leaders, who styled themselves Atropos, Clotho, and Lachesis—the Three Fates of mythology.] So I exchanged courtesies with the others, of whom I remember only the celebrated Nagelmacker, boss of the line, who looked like a Sicilian bandit but was all courtesy, and a Something-or-other Effendi, a fat beard from the Turkish Embassy; there were various scribblers and a swarm of railway directors, Frog and Belgique mostly, making about two score all told.
And then there was a sudden bustle, and we were being herded aboard, with minions directing us to our compartments—I remember Blowitz and I were in Number 151, which seemed odd on such a small train—and whistles were blowing and guards shouting, and from our window we could see the mob at the barrier hurrahing and throwing up their hats, and officials on the platform were waving, and the carriage doors were closed, crash! crash! crash!, a last whistle shrilled—and then a strange silence fell over the Gare de l’Est, and I guess little Blowitz’s enthusiasm must have had its effect, for I remember feeling a strange excitement as the train quivered ever so little, the steam rushed hissing past our window, there was a faint clank of buffers, a gentle rumble of wheels beneath our feet, and we were gliding away smoothly and ever so slowly, the waving figures on the platform passing from sight in succession, and then we were out of the station and I was thinking, you’ve been in some odd vanguards, Flashy, from the Forty-Niners to the Light Brigade, and here’s another for you, and Blowitz snapped shut his hunter and shook my hand, gulping with emotion—gad, he was a sentimental little barrel.