So I made myself decent, took another pull at the spa, touched my toes, transferred my clasp-knife from my pocket to my boot (you should have frisked my clothes, Bill), decided I’d felt worse, and was in fair parade order when he returned, preceded by Manon with a loaded tray which she set down on a little folding camp table before making brisk work of converting the berth into a sofa.
"What, not hungry?" says he, when I declined sandwiches and drumsticks. "No, I guess lay-me-down-dead ain’t the best foundation for luncheon—but you’ll take a brandy? Capital! Ah, and here is her highness! A glass of champagne, my sweet, and the armchair. `It is well done, and fitting for a princess', as my Stratford namesake has it. She is a real princess, you know, Harry—and I’m a count, and you’re a belted what-d’ye-call-it, so we’re rather a select company, what?"
It might have been Rudi himself, chattering gaily and keeping between me and the door as he bowed in Kralta, very elegant in a fur-trimmed travelling dress and matching Cossack cap. She gave me her cool stare, and then to my surprise held out her hand with a little smile, asking courteously if I’d slept well, damn her impudence. But I took her hand as a little gentleman ought, with a silent bow, as though she hadn’t fed me puggle and we’d never played two-backed beastie in our lives. A still tongue and sharp eyes and ears were my line until I knew what was afoot—after which I’d be even stiller and sharper.
"All glasses charged?" cries Starnberg. "Capital! To our happy association, then!" He lighted one of his cigarettes and settled on (he sofa corner by the door; I was seated by the window.
"Now then … biznai," says he. "First off, Chancellor Prince Bismarck presents his compliments, apologises for any inconvenience caused, and invites your assistance in preservin' the peace of Europe. And that’s no lie," he added. "It’s in the balance, and if things go wrong we’ll have the bloodiest mess since Bonaparte." He’d stopped smiling, and Kralta was watching me intently.
"Why your assistance?" he went on. "Freak of chance, nothing more. You’ve been told that for five years Bismarck wondered how Blowitz got hold of the Berlin Treaty; that’s true, tho' it didn’t keep him awake. Then a few months ago, idly enough, he suggested to Kralta that she might worm it out of little Stefan. She failed, but here’s the point." He levelled his cigarette at me. "In talkin' to her about Berlin, Blowitz chanced to mention your name in passin'—you know how he gasses about the people he knows—and in reportin' her failure she, in turn, mentioned it to Bismarck. Now," says he, looking leery, "I don’t know what you and Bismarck and the guv’nor were up to in Strackenz years ago, but when Bismarck heard the name Flashman, he sat up straight—didn’t he, Kralta?"
She nodded. "He said: `That man again! I was right—I did see him in Berlin during the Congress!' Then he laughed, and said I should trouble no more about Blowitz; he would find out the secret of the treaty for himself, through other agents."
"And didn’t he just!" cries Stamberg. "All about some courtesan who wormed information out of one o' the Russians, and you passed it to Blowitz in your hat, and a French diplomat was so impressed by Blowitz’s omniscience that he handed over the treaty. Who was the courtesan, Harry?" says he, with a sly glance at Kralta. "Another of your light o' loves?"
I’d kept a straight face through this revelation; now I shook my head. Since Bismarck was so dam' clever, let him find out Cap-rice’s identity for himself, if he wanted to.
"Well, Bismarck was amused: said he admired Blowitz’s ingenuity. But that was that; havin' discovered the ploy, Bismarck was content—and none of it matters now; the only important thing about Blowitz and the whole Berlin business was that it brought your name back to Bismarck’s notice, see? So, just by that chance, you were still in his mind a few weeks ago, when he first had word of the threatenin' crisis I mentioned just now. It struck him that you would be useful—nay, essential—to him in meetin' that crisis. `Flashman is the man,' were his very words. `We must have him.' The question was, how to enlist you. He thought you might he reluctant." He glanced at Kralta. "Wasn’t that how he put it?"
"Rather more strongly." For once there was a glimmer of humour in the cool blue eyes. "He said you would have to be compelled. So I was instructed to entice you to Paris." She paused, and Starnberg burst out laughing.
"Tell him what Bismarck said! Oh, well, if you won’t, I will! Ile said you were a lecherous animal governed altogether by lust." lie winked at Kralta. "Which made him irresistible to you, didn’t it, my dear?"
She ignored this. I’d resolved to keep mum, but suddenly the chance to play parfit gentil Flashy seemed sound policy.
"Knowing your parentage, I’m not surprised by your guttersnipe manners," says I. "Get to the point, and keep your impertinences to yourself."
He crowed with delight, clapping his hands. "Why, Kralta, I do believe you’ve got a champion! Bless me if you haven’t won his manly heart—or some other part of his anatomy which I shan’t mention, since delicacy seems to be the order of the day." He grinned from one to other of us. "Lord, what a pair of randy hypocrites you are! The older generation …" He shook his head.
"As I was saying," says Kralta calmly to me, "I was the lure to attract you. As you know, I used the unsuspecting Blowitz to bring us together. He was most obliging, hinting slyly that if I still wished to know how the Berlin Treaty was obtained, you could he persuaded to tell me. Naturally, I did not tell him that we already knew that little secret, but pretended delight, and urged him to lose no time in bringing you to Paris. You may resent the deception we … I have practised, but I cannot regret it." The horse face was proudly serene, but with the little smile at the corner of her mouth. "For several reasons. When you have heard what Prince Bismarck proposes, you will understand one of them." She made a languid gesture to Starnberg to continue.
"Well, thank’ee, ma’am," says he sardonically, and filled my glass. "But before we come to that, we have a few questions, and ’twill save time if you answer without troublin' why we ask ’em. You’ll learn, never fear. How friendly are you with the Emperor of Austria?"
"Franz-Josef? Hardly friendly … I’ve met him—"
"Yes, on his yacht off Corfu in 1868, on your return from Mexico, where you had led the unsuccessful attempt to rescue his brother Maximilian from a Juarista firin' squad. A gallant failure which earned you the imperial gratitude, as well as the Order of Maria Theresa, presented to you …" he cocked a quizzy eyebrow "… by the Empress Elisabeth, and ain’t she a peach, though? I’d call that friendly."
They’d done their lessons, up to a point. The "gallant failure" had been the biggest botch since the Kabul Retreat, thanks to the idiot Maximilian, who was damned if he’d be rescued, so there, and I’d come off by the skin of my chattering teeth and the good offices of that gorgeous little fire-eater, Princess Aggie Salm-Salm, and Jesus Montero’s gang of unwashed bandits who were on hand only because Jesus thought I knew where Montezuma’s treasure was cached, more fool he. Another fragrant leaf from my diary, that was, and my only regret for Emperor Max was that he’d been a fairish cricketer for a novice, and might have made a half-decent batter, if he’d lived.' But it was true enough that Franz-Josef had been uncommon civil, for an emperor, and the beautiful Sissi (Empress Elisabeth to you) had given me the glad eye as she’d handed over the white cross. Can’t think what became of it; in a drawer somewhere, I expect.
Kralta asked: "Did the Emperor Franz-Josef shake hands with you?"
A deuced odd question, and I had to think. "I believe he did , , , yes, he did, coming and going."
"Then he’s certainly friendly," says Starnberg, "He only takes the paw of close relatives and tremendous swells, usually. That was the only time you met him … would he be pleased to see you again, d’you think? You know, hospitably inclined, stop over for a weekend, that kind of thing?"