Dobler sat there, turning his cammie hat around and around in his big hands. After what Murdock figured were two minutes of dead silence, the sailor nodded. “Yes, sir, Commander. I’ve never heard of anything in the Navy that was fairer and straight arrow. I appreciate it. Like I said, I have a decision to make.”
Murdock stood and held out his hand. “Senior Chief Dobler, I’d hate to lose you. You’re getting this platoon whipped into shape. But I know what a tough decision you have to make. It involves the three most important people in your life.”
Nancy Dobler sat up in her hospital bed in a rush. Her eyes opened and she looked around. A small nod, and she eased back on the bed and tried to relax. Her hands had been unstrapped from the railings. They trusted her a little. There was a TV camera watching her all the time. She knew it was there. It didn’t bother her.
She knew they had her on some kind of relaxing medication. She couldn’t work up a good mad at anyone, not even the nurse who took three stabs to draw her blood earlier.
Nancy blinked back tears. She had blown it again. What the hell was the matter with her? Yes, a bitching childhood, but that was over long, long ago. She was an adult now. She had to act like it. Partly the booze. Earlier that morning, she started feeling sorry for herself, and had one drink, and then another one, and before long she had blown the whole thing all out of proportion.
That’s what the shrink told her earlier that afternoon when he stopped by. Procedure, he had told her. He said suicide failures were his meat. She had laughed at that. At least he didn’t try to hide the S word.
Helen.
She thought of her daughter, and tears sprang to her eyes. Oh, God, she hoped that she hadn’t traumatized her wonderful Helen. Why? Why? Why?
She pulled the sheet up over her head, closed her eyes, and cupped her hands over her eyes so she could see absolutely nothing but blackness.
Damn it to hell.
Yes, she knew why, but she would never admit it, never even think about it. She had tried to forget it for so long. There must be something or someone who could help her remember it one more time and accept it for what it was and put it forever behind her. Who?
“Hey there, sleeping girl. Are you in there somewhere?”
It was Will.
She let the sheet down gently, then uncovered her eyes.
“It’s so damn bright in here,” she said, flailing out, covering her eyes again.
“True,” Will Dobler said. He reached over and snapped off the room lights.
“Better?”
She looked at him and smiled a yes. Will sat down beside her bed. The side railings were gone. He picked up her hand and held it.
“Missed you, sweetheart. We all have. The kids have been staying with the other married SEAL in our unit, Maria and Miguel Fernandez. Wonderful lady.”
“Good. The kids deserve—”
He cut her off. “Now stop that. Hey, we love you and want you home soon. Day after tomorrow, the nurse says. They have made some recommendations.”
“A shrink?” Nancy said with more anger than she felt.
“Matter of fact, yes. Seems they got your chart from Balboa Naval Hospital.”
“In all its ugly reality. Oh shit.”
“True. Now, I have a decision to make. I want you to help me.”
“About the shrink?”
“No. About SEALs.”
Nancy looked at him. The tears had dried on her cheeks, leaving little splotches. Her eyes squinted for a moment, then her brows lifted. “Meaning what, Will?”
“Meaning you and I and the kids are going to decide whether I stay in the SEALs or go back to regular Navy service.”
“Wouldn’t they ship you out right away on a carrier?”
“Par for the course. I don’t have enough years in to have much clout.”
Someone came to the door and stood there. Will looked at her. She was a nurse in her forties. She checked his rank on his sleeve.
“Chief, I’m afraid that visiting—”
He turned suddenly. “Ma’am, this is a top secret discussion, and unless you have top secret clearance, I’ll have to respectfully ask you to retire and close the door.” Then he grinned.
The nurse smiled. “Chief, I did my twenty-five and sometimes don’t quite feel that I’m out. This is as near as I can come. Take all the time you want.”
She closed the door.
When Will looked back at Nancy, she had her old cockeyed grin on, and he relaxed a notch.
“We’ll decide over the next week. The commander gave me a week of emergency leave time. We can drive up the coast or go down Baja and hunt for clams or just mess around in the apartment. In the end, we decide what we’re going to do for the rest of our lives.”
Nancy twisted some strands of hair around her finger. “Now a six-month tour of duty overseas on a carrier, that I could understand. I could plan for it and deal with it. This home and gone and home and gone is something that always takes a lot of adjustment.”
She held up her hands. “Hey, I’m not arguing one way or the other. Just getting some facts on the table.”
“Yeah, we’re going to be kicking a lot of facts around. For right now, how about some rummy?”
“No cards.”
He pulled a pack from his pocket and broke the seal. “Brand-new and never been stacked. I’ll shuffle, you deal.”
Nancy smiled softly, wiped at the dregs of new moisture in her eyes. They had met playing rummy, so long ago. He had remembered. It touched her in an important way. Her smile brightened.
Third Platoon trained hard the next four days. The third day, their new supply of ammo and the three new Bull Pups arrived. They went on a special night maneuver in the mountains of the Navy Bomb Range in the desert. They dropped the weapons, skidded them through dirt, simulated rain on one for two hours. Through it all the Bull Pups performed flawlessly.
The second night after Nancy Dobler came out of the hospital, Maria Fernandez and Milly stopped by for a talk. Will had told Nancy they were coming, and she welcomed them. It was a frank and tough discussion. Will was booted out to watch TV in the kids’ room.
Two hours later, the three women were crying when Dobler checked. Milly waved him in.
“Will, I think we’re about done. We’ve had a good cry. We’ve ripped the male species apart and torn him limb from limb, but then tenderly put him back together again.”
After the women left, Nancy and Will talked.
“Yes, Will. I want to go to Balboa to a psychiatrist there. I’ve been approved for two sessions a week starting tomorrow. I’ve made your decision for you. I don’t want you to quit the SEALs. I see you more this way than if you were on a damn cruise.”
He sat beside her and kissed her cheek, then her lips.
“Now that you mention it, why don’t we get to bed early tonight and get all naked and see what happens?”
Her face glowed. “Maybe, but only two or three times.”
8
Commander Blake Murdock leaned back in the first-class type airliner reclining seat. He could get used to this. The Third Platoon of SEAL Team Seven had been pulled out of station a day earlier than planned. The situation in Colombia was getting worse. More of the troops loyal to the former president were deserting to the new, fraudulently elected man owned by the drug cartels.
Murdock looked around at the aircraft. He knew it was an Air Force C-22, an adaptation of the Boeing 727 passenger liner. It had been set up for twenty-four occupants and was used mostly for VIP passengers in staff movements and getting vital military and high-level civilian personnel to the proper location quickly and with a minimum of danger.