Julie looked at Roger. "I cannot believe that is the same girl I met almost a year ago. She seems incredibly happy."
"She is. She's doing well. There are hard days, still, but she has surprised us all."
Julie leaned forward. "Truthfully, I'm glad she hasn't lost all her Celeste-ness. I like her unique personality."
"I do, too." Roger fiddled with a sugar packet. "How are you, kid? You seem... subdued."
"I'm fine. Just distracted, I guess. Busy. Gearing up to head back to school."
"Uh-huh. If you say so." Something caught his eye, and he reached his hand out. "Julie? Where did you get this? Is this Matthew's?" He held the stone of her necklace in his hand.
"Oh." She sat back, pulling it from his grasp, and clasped her hand to her chest.
As much as she couldn't bear to think about Matt, she hadn't been able to take off the necklace. It was part of her - her and Finn - and she wouldn't feel like herself without it.
Roger squinted. "It is Matthew's. Did he tell you what this is?"
Confused, she shook her head. She hadn't really thought about where it had come from. Obviously not from Finn's worldly travels, though. She assumed Matt had picked it up a store nearby.
"Wow. I haven't seen that in years. When Matt was a kid, rocks and minerals fascinated him. He was actively involved in the Boston Minerals Club."
Of course he was. Julie felt that same twinge of wistfulness that hit her more than she liked to admit. She knew Matt so well that it hurt.
"I used to take him on weekend outings with the club," Roger said. "We'd go on hikes in New Hampshire and Vermont. Once to the Berkshires. And the kids would dig and whatnot, looking for rocks. All little boys love that stuff, but Matthew in particular. He kept copious notes about his findings and made charts and graphs that he kept in a binder. Rock and mineral-wise, this is not a terribly exciting part of the country to live in. Nonetheless, Matt held out hope that he would find that special item. And God love him, he did."
Roger pointed to her necklace. "That's a fragment of purpurite. Not the sexiest-sounding mineral, I guess, but Matt was over the moon when he collected this. He wouldn't let anyone touch it, and he kept that thing in a locked display case for years." He tipped his head to the side. "I can't believe he parted with that. You mean something very special to him, Julie."
She looked down and squeezed her hand around the necklace.
"Look, this is none of my business, and I don't know exactly what happened this year, but I know something fell apart between you two. I've tried to talk to him about it... Well, you know Matt. He has a hard time opening up. I do know a bit about him posing as Finn online." He held up his hand to stop Julie from interrupting him. "I agree. It was a seriously peculiar thing to do, and it wasn't right. However ticked off you may be about that, I hope you can appreciate the lengths he went to in order to keep your attention."
Julie looked up. "I guess."
"Can you imagine how much time he spent doctoring all those pictures? Inventing new volunteer opportunities? And when he sent Celeste the package, the poor guy had to track down an old friend overseas, mail the package there, and have that person mail it back to the house so that it would have the right postage. Not to mention all the work it must have taken to keep his stories straight." He smiled. "Come on, Julie. Effort has to count for something."
"This had been hard on me," she said. "I feel stupid saying that considering what your family has been through, but - "
Roger stopped her. "You're allowed to feel the way you do. Matt was an idiot. And maybe you have other reasons for holding back. Reasons that don't have to do with Matthew."
"I don't know what to trust... who to trust."
Roger tipped his head to the side. "Look, Finn was good with all this girl stuff. He was cool, and suave and... magnetic. He was absolutely magnetic. But Matthew is exceptional, too, just in a different way. It must have been rough competing with Finn before, and now that Finn is gone, it's probably even worse for him. You can't beat out memories of the dead. Sweetheart, Matt is not the smoothest of young men, but his heart was in the right place." Roger patted her hand. "Aw, Julie. Matt's execution might have been disastrous, but don't forget about his heart."
Images from the past year flashed through Julie's head: Matt picking her up in front of the non-apartment. Explaining font nerds. Reluctantly taking her to buy hinges for Flat Finn. Trading emails about possible snow sculptures. Laying under the tree. Arguing, bantering, defending his silly T-shirts. The hours spent hanging out in his room. She thought about how he had held her when she had come out of the freezing ocean. And that night after Celeste's sleepover, touching her tenderly in his bed. How he looked when he finally poured his feelings out. The way it felt just to be near him. The way the world stopped when he kissed her.
And that's when she knew. Julie looked at Roger and smiled. She felt whole for the first time in weeks.
Chapter 32
Matthew Watkins When I screw up, I'm just going to think of it as the group disbanding. And by "the group" I mean "brain function." And by "disbanding" I mean "failing miserably.
Julie Seagle "The best way to hold a man is in your arms." - Mae West
Celeste Watkins thinks the expression should be, "Free to be you OR me," because "Free to be you AND me" makes one think of a dissociative identity disorder.
Her heart was pounding uncontrollably. Julie had to muster every scrap of courage she had just to ring the bell. She was on time for the party, but she hoped that she wasn't too late for the most important thing.
Erin opened the door. "You're here! Look at you! You look wonderful!"