“It’s the only answer I have, Mr. Bennington. I’m sorry that I can’t help you.”
“Won’t help, you mean.”
“I said what I meant-I can’t.”
He shook his head, over and over; his face was bleak, as if some light had gone out of him. Maybe it was hope; maybe I’d been his last hope and now it was gone. I would have given him back his hope, if I could have, but I honestly couldn’t do what he wanted; no one could.
He turned and looked at the three men, slowly, then back to me. “Do you love them?”
I thought about telling him it was none of his business, but in the face of such pain, I told the truth. “Yes.”
“All three of them?”
I thought about quibbling, that I love-loved Micah and Nathaniel, but loved Jason as a friend. The fact that I had sex with all of them sort of muddied the waters for most people, but the four of us were clear on how we felt about each other, and all of us knew that Jason was my friend first and everything else second. We were secure, so I gave the short answer: “I do.”
He looked at all of us again, nodded once, and then opened the door. “I’ve never been able to love more than one person at a time. It would be easier if I could.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t bother. I tried to put my sympathy into my face, and let it go at that.
“Their being here with you proves that at least some of the tallest tales about you are true.”
“You keep leaving me not knowing what to say, Mr. Bennington.”
“I thought women always knew what to say.”
“I don’t.”
“My wife was a very different kind of woman than you, Ms. Blake.”
“I hear that a lot,” I said.
“Please, help me get her back.”
“I can’t give her back to you, Mr. Bennington. No human being could do what you truly want, no matter how psychically gifted they might be.”
“And what do I truly want?”
“You want resurrection of the body and mind and soul. I’m good, Mr. Bennington, maybe the best. But no one, not even me, is that good.”
He left then without another word, closing the door carefully behind him. Micah hugged me. “That was unpleasant.”
I raised my face for a kiss, which he gave, and hugged him back. “Unpleasant,” I said. “That’s one word for it.”
Nathaniel hugged me from behind, and I was suddenly sandwiched between my two live-in sweeties. Nathaniel kissed the top of my head. “Come to lunch, and Jason and I will flirt outrageously, and make you smile.”
“As long as I’m left out of the flirting,” Micah said.
“It’s okay that you don’t flirt in public,” Nathaniel said, “you do fine at home.”
Jason came to stand beside us. “If four’s a crowd I can take a hint.”
It was Micah who opened his arm and brought Jason into the group hug, which let Nathaniel do the same. We snuggled together for a moment, and Jason put his face against mine. “I don’t know how you deal with clients all day, Anita.”
“I could do without the grieving relatives, that’s for sure,” I said.
“One of these days,” Mary said from behind us, “you have to tell me how you do that.”
We broke from the hug enough for me to look at her. “Do what?”
She waved her hands at us all. “Three of the sexiest men I’ve seen in weeks and they’re all here to take you to lunch. If you find one over thirty, throw him my way.” It made me laugh, which is what she meant it to do. Mary had worked here as long as I had, and she’d seen worse displays of grief than Tony Bennington’s.
I smiled to let her know it worked, and tried to shake the depressing feeling that I’d failed Bennington. I had told him the truth, but sometimes the last thing you want when you’re grieving is truth.
“I have a couple that are way over thirty, Mary, but I didn’t think you were into vampires.”
She made a girlish squeal, which was a sound that should have been outlawed once you hit the other side of fifty, but Mary could still pull it off. I was under thirty and still couldn’t do the squeal without feeling like an idiot. It was never a voluntary sound for me.
“See you after lunch, Mary.”
“If I had all three of them with me, I would make it a long lunch.”
I grinned, and then felt the blush start. I always had blushed easily, damn it.
Mary laughed, until Jason walked over to her and kissed her cheek, and then it was her turn to blush. We left the office laughing, with Mary joining us. “Go on with you, cheeky kid,” she said to Jason, but was still bright-eyed with the attention.
“Cheeky, hmm,” Jason said. I grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door before he could do whatever was behind that gleam in his eyes. I wasn’t sure if Mary would thank me later, or be disappointed.
We got to a booth in a restaurant that was near enough to my work that we’d walked-Micah and I in our suits, and the other two looking like gym bunnies who’d escaped to be among us mere mor tals. They had put on summer-weight workout pants over the shorts, which they’d gotten out of Jason’s car. Nathaniel had even added a lightweight jacket. He knew that I wasn’t always comfy with a lot of attention, even if I wasn’t the one attracting it. Micah looked as cute in less clothes as they did, but he, like me, didn’t usually flash unless at home. We were shy, but it was a sliding scale. We were shy in comparison to Jason and Nathaniel, but then so were most people. I appreciated them putting on more clothes and told them so. I also asked them, “If you had more clothes, why did you wear less to pick me up at work?”
“Mary likes it when we flirt with her,” Nathaniel said.
“So if it had been nighttime and Craig was on duty, you’d have put on more clothes?” I asked.
“Yes,” they said.
I let it go at that, because I’d learned to.
Micah and Jason were at either end of the circular booth, putting Nathaniel and me in the center, but it was easy for any of us who wanted to sit as close as we wanted until the food came, and then we’d need more elbow room. But until then, Micah and I held hands, but that’s too passive a word. We played our fingers up and down on each other’s. We made small circles on each other’s hands. I drew my nails lightly down the back of his hand, which made him close his eyes, lips parting. He returned the favor by drawing his nails down the inside of my wrist, and that made me have to fight off a visible shudder. “Okay, point taken, I’ll back down.” My voice was breathy.
“You guys are so much fun,” Jason said.
“Yes, they are,” Nathaniel said, and some tone in his voice made me look at him, and I was suddenly very aware that I was staring into his face from inches away. Micah and I were still holding hands, but I was left wondering if I’d somehow neglected Nathaniel. I opened my mouth to ask something that blunt, when he said, “You and Micah always have to touch each other more than just a hug and a kiss. Until you do there’s this tension between you; always.”
“Do I apologize for that?” I asked, and my voice was still breathy.
“No,” he said, voice low, “you’re the same way with me.” His hand found my skirt and began to slide down my thigh until his fingers touched hose. He slid his hand over my hose, to the inner thigh. My free hand grabbed his hand, and my other hand flexed in Micah’s, who grabbed back, and the pressure of his hand both helped me think and made me think about both of them, in a way that wasn’t helpful at all.
My pulse was suddenly in my throat and it wasn’t because I was afraid. Mary had said she’d take a long lunch, and that suddenly didn’t seem like a bad idea. I frowned, and tried to think a little better than that.
Nathaniel leaned in and whispered against my face, breath so warm, “Too much?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
“I don’t think this is going to make her laugh,” Micah said.
I shook my head.
Nathaniel backed up enough so he wasn’t breathing his words directly on my skin. “I’m not jealous of you and Micah, because you still react as if me touching you is new.”