The clock continued its relentless ticking behind him as they watched each other. “For love of Beatrice,” he finally said, pouring his soul into her name. “For the love of an artist, and a woman, and all the things she makes me feel.”
“Oh, so you’d like to talk about feelings, would you? Well, there is a subject about which I can speak with great authority. Let’s talk about what it feels like to have a passing acquaintance tell me about my own betrothed’s father’s business failure. Let’s talk about the denial, and the shock, and the inability to believe the truth of it. Let’s discuss what it feels like to go to a trusted source and have him use his contacts to investigate these horrible accusations, all the while desperately hoping they’ll be disproved.”
Her hand went to her chest, as if she could hold together the broken pieces. “And then we can delve into exactly what it feels like to learn that, if anything, the truth was even worse than feared.” She swallowed, the pain in her eyes ripping at his heart. “On second thought, I don’t want to discuss anything. A fortune hunter will say anything to qualify his selfish ways. If it were any other way, you would have told me the truth before ever proposing marriage. You would have given me the opportunity to choose.”
Colin raked a hand through his hair. The air seemed to have gotten thinner, like the highest peaks of Scotland, making it impossible to breathe. He could defend himself, tell her that her own brother had stipulated that he not reveal his financial situation, but he had more honor than that. Her brother didn’t deserve to be dragged into it when all he wanted was his sister’s happiness.
“I was wrong. Stupid, and selfish, and wrong. But my offer had nothing to do with money and everything to do with finding the perfect person with whom to share my life. For God’s sake, you experienced our kisses—you know the fire that burns between us.”
She held a hand up, leveling an accusing finger at his chest. “Don’t you dare bring that up. None of it meant anything—not when it was based on lies.”
“It was based on passion,” he exclaimed, stepping closer to her, but only pushing her farther away. “It was based on what happens when two souls find each other in the world and know without a shred of doubt that they were meant for each other.”
“Everything is thrown into doubt when secrets stand between them.”
They were talking in circles, and with every circuit, he could feel her slipping away. “I’m not the only one with secrets here. Should not you have told me of your letters? To inform your future husband of an activity that could have—and still may—impact how society views us?”
Her mouth pressed into a mutinous line, her eyes narrowed to slits. “That isn’t the same at all.”
“Isn’t it? I argue that it is. After the wedding, my family’s debts will be settled for good. A short-term issue, at most. If you are revealed as the author of those scandalous letters, our standing could be impacted for years—perhaps even tainting our children.”
“Tainting?” she exclaimed, backing up another step and bumping into the table, rattling the untouched tea service. “If that is what you think of what I do—”
He didn’t let her finish. He stepped forward, grabbing her hand and tugging her hard against him. Her eyes went huge, wide with shock as her breasts rose and fell against his chest with each ragged breath. “I think you are brilliant. I think you are bold, and brave, and incredibly clever. But we both know society wouldn’t look at us the same way.”
She didn’t speak, just watched him with her fierce sapphire gaze. He held her tight against him, forcing her to feel his agitation, to witness it in his rapid breath and pounding heart. To see it in his intense gaze. After almost half a minute, she licked her lips, raising her chin in defiance. “I don’t know about society, but I know all about never being able to look at someone the same way again.”
“Damn it, Beatrice,” he breathed, frustration building within him, like hot steam begging for release. “Doona let your stubbornness ruin what could be.”
“How could I ruin what was never really there?”
That was it; he couldn’t take another word. With a growl of frustration, he let go of his iron control, swooping down to claim her lips in a kiss that was searing and raw, brutally honest in its passion.
She resisted, holding herself as stiff and unyielding as a marble statue. He squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t force her to see reason. But he could coax her. Gentling his kiss to the barest of touches, he released his hold on her waist and slipped his hands up to cup her jaw. He poured every ounce of the love he felt for her into the moment, worshipping her as the goddess she was.
He pressed hot kisses on her cheek, sliding his thumbs along the sensitive skin of her temple. This time he wasn’t holding her to him with his arms; he was holding her to him with a sensual assault, designed to remind her of exactly what they shared, of exactly what their life together would be like.
Desire flooded his veins, drowning out every distraction except her. Her scent of lilacs, her taste of reluctance, the sound of her uneven breathing, the searing heat of her skin wherever his lips touched. In that moment, his entire world was wrapped up in the woman before him, beginning and ending with every beat of her heart.
“You must believe that my desire for you is exactly that,” he breathed, his words a caress upon the curve of her cheek as he continued his sensual assault. “Please give me a chance to prove it to you.”
Beatrice squeezed her eyes shut against the need to lean into him, to accept his words and give in to her body’s traitorous need to be touched by him. Persuaded by him.
She was nearly shaking with the desire to give in, to believe his quiet words, to trust the sincerity in his voice. His lips moved across her skin, leaving tiny kisses that seemed to have a direct connection to her heart, melting her anger a little more with every one.
What if his words were true? What if he truly did feel as strongly for her as she always dreamed her husband would? A small, breathy sound escaped her lips, without her permission, when his mouth reached her earlobe. She fought not to indulge the shiver that begged to be released.
“Please, Beatrice,” he whispered, and there was no stopping the shiver then.
Garnering every shred of willpower she possessed in the world, she pulled away from him, trying to regain some semblance of sanity. “How? How can I ever trust you now? How could you possibly prove your intentions were not what they seemed?”
The pain she saw in his stony gaze threatened to undercut her determination. Knowing he was hurting didn’t make her own humiliation and pain any better. Only worse.
Much, much worse.
“I doona know,” he said, shaking his head. “But I swear to you I will think of something. Just give me some time.”
“No. I don’t want to give you time. Prove it to me right here, now. I want this settled.” The thought of walking out of this house without a solution was enough to take her breath away.
“All right—what about the marriage settlement? Over and above the amount needed to release the estate, I have allowed for every last penny to be in your control.”
“Which seemed so phenomenally generous when my brother told me. But now I see it for what it is: You got what you wanted and made a token effort to divert any suspicions about your motives.”
“Token?” His brow rose halfway up his forehead. “I hardly call fifteen thousand pounds token.”