Anyway, there’s another reason I like watching them come back. Every floor basically competes with the other floors. It’s one of the ways that the Morale officers keep spirits up. I mean, everyone likes a game, right? So, the rules aren’t exactly what you would call complicated, but they’re good enough to keep us entertained. What happens is you’ve got a Scavenger representing almost every floor. Now, I hate that morning announcement they do, but, I dunno, it does kinda keep you in the spirit of things. So every morning during the Scavenging we play games in the Gymnasium. Floor 5 versus Floor 10, that sort of thing. It’s like a, you know, two-week tournament.
And dang, do the kids go out of their way to make sure it’s a party. They get streamers going, balloons, all sorts of junk. Junk that should probably be used for better stuff, like, oh, who knows, taking care of the Tower. But, whatevs. Right? So, for two weeks it’s like we get a party every morning before finally crowning a winner.
This morning we had the last games. We extended it an extra day ’cause of the whole “Scavengers aren’t back yet” situation. So, this big, purple bruise on my thigh? Yeah, that might be from wrestling. That poor sucker was crying for mommy and I was playing parent. I mean, for real, this guy was knotted up so tight you could have put salt on him and called him a pretzel. I think what I’m trying to say is, I’m pretty good at wrestling.
But, yeah, I put up a few points for Floor 8. I mean, since my floor doesn’t get a representative, I have to rep for another floor, and that gets determined by the Morale officers. My floor, Floor 4, only gets all the rewards if the floor we’re paired with wins, which seems fair. It only sucks when I have to race Allison.
That girl has wind in her shoes or something.
Oh, so there’s this other thing. Can’t forget to mention it, only because it’s the whole point of the Scavenging. Each Scavenger tallies up what they found and how much of it. Everything is assigned points. Now, the scores can’t be added up until the Scavengers have turned it all in, so typically we wait until morning before finding out which Scavenger got the most stuff.
What they found gets assigned points, too, because obviously steak is worth more than carrots. That’s just like… duh.
Point scale. Um, stuff nobody cares about? Cards, paper, lightbulbs? That gets one point. If a Scavenger gets a high score because of crap like this, he’s called Uno because nobody cares about paper. Vegetables? Okay, you need those to eat, but it’s still just vegetables. We spend every freaking week on the rooftop growing those. So, two points. Let’s see. Uh, you’ve got fish and chicken, so those’re five points. We actually debate about this because we give more points for stuff like Blu-Rays than veggies, since there are only so many movies in the world. So, right, six points for anything you can pass time with. Then you start talking about things like technology. Once in a while you’ll have a scavenging team come back with a big load of stuff, like computers. So, eight points there. So what’s at the top of the chain? Any guesses? Of course, it’s food again, because being hungry sucks. That’s nine points for sugar and ten points for steak.
I’m not really sure if this last one I’m gonna say should be on the list, but might as well, right? The items are tallied live, so stuff gets really exciting. I mean, we don’t want our guys dying when they’re down in the Creep, but, I mean, we’re asking them to be risky. How else are they going to get their hands on all the valuable stuff? So, when a scavenging team comes back, all the items are tallied live the next day. You can see a person’s scores rising on your tablets or computer, but if you’re really into the games, then you meet on Floor 9. As many people pack into the gym as possible, but once that gets full, there’s lots of other places to meet. There are lots of big conference rooms used for all sorts of things, so they’re the perfect place for stuffing a bunch of people all at once. Even then, I mean, you can’t have the whole tower meet at once, right? So, of course, Security doesn’t let everyone in. If you’re not there early, you might not be allowed through the doors. Anyway, you get everyone cheering and screaming, people roll out this big whiteboard onto the gym floor, and then they write out the names of all the Scavengers.
We’re not monsters. I mean, we remember to have a minute of silence at the start if a Scavenger doesn’t come back. Mad respect for the dead, you know? Whatever, so, everyone starts to go crazy. As the scores come in, the guys in charge of the event post the scores to the board. They don’t forget to write what type of stuff a Scavenger brought, either, because nobody wants to be called Uno for three months. Sucks, right? Having to live with that until you get another chance in the Creep?
It’s weird. We spend three months looking forward to the Scavenging, two weeks of games while we’re waiting for the Scavengers to come back, and then another day waiting for the tallies. So, what’s the prize? It’s big time. Your floor gets crowned Scavenger’s Hall, you get food bonuses in your boxes, and you get your duty shifts lowered. Pretty freakin’ sweet. Yeah, and then you wonder why I get pissed that Floor 4 doesn’t get to participate.
Uh, I think I was making a point earlier… Oh, that’s right. About the points. I was going to say that since we get tallies of everyone’s score, we know exactly what they’re bringing in. Well, so, the tallies are divided by beef, chicken, fish, candies, paper, you know, all of the things. See, the problem is there’s this other category that rarely gets checked. Like maybe once a year.
It’s just called “other.” Real specific, am I right? Anyway, try and put the pieces together. Why does “other” get marked only after a Scavenging when the teams have to rush up to Floor 1 instead of doing their usual march through the halls? Yeah, that’s right. “Other” means that one of the Scavengers found something real important, something that might be a clue about the Tower and what’s outside. We assume it’s some sort of, like, supersecret technology. The kids call it Sec Tech, but, I mean, who cares? Point is it’s important, and so whoever brings back some Sec Tech gets an automatic two hundred point bonus. I know, right? I’d be trying to get my hands on that stuff every time I went scavenging. That’s a guarantee that you’re going to place in the top three. It makes a difference how well your floor performed during the games, too. Those scores are added to how much a Scavenger hauled in, so your rep can haul in a ton of sweet loot, but you can still lose the competition if your floor does badly in the games. Which is, of course, one major reason I always wish Tommy was on my team. God. We would wreck.
So, yeah, everyone goes nuts at this time of year. It’s awesome. I love it. And Tower Authority is cool about it, for once. Half the Morale officers spend the month leading up to the Scavenging putting flyers in everyone’s mailboxes and reminding them to root for their floor’s Scavenger, or telling people to put up decorations on the wall.
All so that we can be happy about being stuck in this tower.
Recording Fourteen
Word is that the Scavengers’ll be back tonight. Yikes. I’m so hyped.
I was talking to Allison about how it sucks not to have a floor rep. So, hers is this Scavenger named Janet Amato. Talk about a woman, I mean, this chick is, like, seven feet tall and all muscle. Which is sweet and all, but Allison tells me that Janet’s also pretty smart. That’s cool, you know? That’s what I want to be like. But, I mean, I live on Floor 4. There’s no way to become a Scavenger.