Recording Thirty-Seven
So, this is gonna be my last recording.
They told me they’re going to come for me in about an hour. I’ve seen what Reinforcement does. I know what it looked like when they injected that guy full of it, and how much Stella didn’t want Reinforcement to happen to her. I know what Danny was like after he got out.
And apparently they’re going to be shooting me up with Creep for five years.
They said they’re going to take my stuff once they’re done. Why let me keep it—am I right? If I listen to my recordings later, then I’ll get suspicious again. Start asking questions. Then this whole mess will start over.
I think they just let me keep the recorder so I wouldn’t go nuts while I’m in here. Honestly, I think the room’s just a refurbished Cleanup closet. It makes me wonder who exactly does the Cleanup in a place like Floor 1.
I guess, before the end, I want to summarize my thoughts.
I can’t say it for sure, but I think Mom’s been having something like Voluptas. She goes through those crazy, manic phases and then depression. I could be wrong, just, her behavior is so like some of what I’ve seen here. I don’t know that she gets to have it regularly, but I know she’s also worked as a chemist, so if anyone could make the stuff, it’d probably be her. Someone’s got to make it, right?
Dad. I never got to see him again. What he does, where he went… I dunno. Suddenly I care again. I mean, I never really stopped caring. I just wanted him to be like the dad I remembered, but… right now I’d take any version of him. Doesn’t matter. I won’t be able to think about it in an hour.
Uh, so, I’m really not sure where I’d rather live. The lower floors get less food, cheaper clothes, worse conditions. Still, at least we don’t have to take that stuff. Voluptas. I already hate being told what to do and not to question anything. Can you imagine being given a pill that’s supposed to just make you… happy, somehow? Like you can just forget every terrible thing you’ve seen? And is it worth forgetting the bad things if you forget the good things, too?
God. That’s depressing. Because I’d rather know and be depressed than not know and be happy.
Floor 1 is the ultimate example of depressing, even if everything about the Tower is kinda crapsack. I get the feeling that people like Judge Reaver know a little more about why we’re here but just don’t really know the exact reason. In the court they said we’d been here centuries, and, apparently, there’s about 15,000 of us.
That’s a lot of people. I think I’ve mentioned that the Tower really is huge. I never really thought we had that many around, though.
Then again, it’s not like I count.
I found an air vent in here, but it’s too small to move through. No escape there. Too bad, since it plunges straight down. That’d be helpful right now because at least I’d be able to get off Floor 1. Even if I got tossed onto, like, Floor 20, at least I’d be able to hide. A tower this big? Yeah, there’s got to be somewhere people go on the run down there.
Right?
You’d think that, maybe, some people would escape to the lower levels. You know, get away from Tower Authority to where the Creep’s the worst.
Speaking of. I guess I won’t even care if or when Mike gets back. Mike. My only partner in crime. I super wish I’d had a chance to see one more movie with you. But, not time for that now.
So, I’m going to sit here and wait. There’s nothing else to do.
Just, as a final thought, I guess I’d like to say I kinda wish I’d spent some more time with my family. They’re not who I remember, but… I still love them. Yeah. I know that’s weird, huh? You spend your life as a teenager finding anyone else you’d rather want to be with, then end up wanting to see your parents right before you die.
Because even if I’m not going to be, like, physically dead, whoever I am right now isn’t going to survive.
Still, I want to know I had some purpose. Some way of knowing that whoever I am right now is remembered.
That’s why I’m going to force open that grate and toss this recorder down the vent. I kinda hope someone finds it, somehow, someday. That they learn that me, this Jackie, was alive. Maybe they even finish the investigation I’ve started and really find out what’s happening in this tower.
And even if they don’t, at least some part of who I am will survive. Because this recorder is the proof that I existed.
Well, I guess that’s all from the Jackie you know and love. That I know and love.
Good-bye.
THE SCAVENGER’S STORY
Commander Vick’s Report Number One
I would like to state, for the record, that I hate making these things. So, to all my superiors on Floor 1, please be aware that I make this recording under duress. I am, of course, partly joking. Still, in all seriousness, I know that you accepted me as a commander specifically because of my ability to make light of my circumstances. It’s the only way to stay sane in the Creep, after all. So, also for the record, do forgive what has been described to me by Councilman Waters as “a genuine and absolute disregard for the protocol of the Tower.”
He may not like me, but he knows that I do what’s most important: identify and procure materials necessary for the ongoing maintenance of the Tower.
Which is to say I find the candy bars his children like so much. That last sentence is off the record, though.
As per our typical protocol, we began readying ourselves for the Scavenging the night before it commenced. I mean, despite the fact that it’s a manufactured event created specifically to make people in the lower levels feel a little better about their lives, at least it does make them happy. I remember growing up that there wasn’t much I looked forward to like the Scavenging. So yes, I do, in fact, get quite a kick out of seeing kids happy about us heading out. Especially the younger ones. There’s just something about an eight- or nine-year-old boy or girl looking at you like you’re a superhero. I don’t do this for the praise, but I do get a sense of accomplishment from inspiring those kids. I used to be one of them, after all.
Preparations for the Scavenging went as normal. I’ve been on the record about this before, but I despise Commander Abbott’s approach to equipping his men when they head into the Creep. There’s a reason my fatality list is shorter than his. As a rule, Abbott likes to overload his men with ammo and armor. For the most part, none of that’s necessary. The Creep’s only violent once you get below about Floor 40, and even then there are simple steps you can take to avoid getting it angry. Actually, a man benefits from added mobility farther down the tower, more than heavy armor. In tight spaces, if the Creep does lash out, you need to be able to escape. All the ammunition in the world isn’t going to save you from a hallway full of that stuff if you get it agitated. I choose to give my men the best chance to live by leaving the bulky armor behind and focusing on speed and mobility.
Again, the numbers bear out my tactics. I want that on the record because I think someone needs to talk to Abbott about his methods. Obviously I’m not the one, since he’s technically above me as far as rank. But someone needs to do it.
Regardless, I don’t just leave the armor behind altogether. I simply prefer to have my men wear lighter tactical vests without all the additional ammunition, and I particularly try to avoid the larger Type IV armor he’s so fond of. That bulky junk will get you killed. I’ve seen a man get trapped in a tight, rubble-filled corridor when trying to escape from agitated Creep. You’ll excuse me if I prefer the lighter Type II protection. Strong enough to guard against shrapnel, some forms of bullets, and a few Creep tentacles, but not so bulky that you’ll get caught in the tight conditions that are prevalent in some of those hallways.