“Pass by on the other side, if you can get there in time.”
“Well?”
“They’re NOT quarrelling.”
“No, but they’ve got a special world no one else can enter.”
“That’s what Wilfrid said.”
“Naturally.”
Michael stared. Yes, of course. She had once had her special world, and not with—him!
“It was stupid of me. But I AM stupid.”
“No, not stupid; well-intentioned. Are you going up?”
“Yes.”
As he went upstairs he had the peculiar feeling that it was she who wanted to go to bed with him rather than he with her. And yet, once in bed, that would all change, for of such was the nature of man!
Dinny, in her room above theirs, through her open window could hear the faint murmur of their voices, and, bowing her face on her hands, gave way to a feeling of despair. The stars in their courses fought against her! External opposition one could cut through or get round; but this deep spiritual unease in the loved one’s soul, that—ah! that—one could not reach; and the unreachable could not be pushed away, cut through, or circumvented. She looked up at the stars that fought against her. Did the ancients really believe that, or was it, with them, as with her, just a manner of speaking? Did those bright wheeling jewels on the indigo velvet of all space really concern themselves with little men, the lives and loves of human insects, who, born from an embrace, met and clung and died and became dust? Those candescent worlds, circled by little offsplit planets—were their names taken in vain, or were they really in their motions and their relative positions the writing on the wall for men to read?
No! That was only human self-importance! To his small wheel man bound the Universe. Swing low, sweet chariots! But they didn’t! Man swung with them—in space…
CHAPTER 27
Two days later the Cherrell family met in conclave because of a sudden summons received by Hubert to rejoin his regiment in the Soudan. He wished to have something decided about Dinny before he left. The four Cherrell brothers, Sir Lawrence, Michael, and himself, gathered, therefore, in Adrian’s room at the Museum after Mr. Justice Charwell’s Court had risen. They all knew that the meeting might be futile, because, as even Governments find, to decide is useless if decision cannot be carried out.
Michael, Adrian, and the General, who had been in personal touch with Wilfrid, were the least vocal, Sir Lawrence and the Judge the most vocal; Hubert and Hilary were now vocal and now dumb.
Starting from the premise, which nobody denied, that the thing was a bad business, two schools of thought declared themselves—Adrian, Michael, and to some extent Hilary believed there was nothing to be done but wait and see; the rest thought there was much to be done, but what—they could not say.
Michael, who had never seen his four uncles so close together before, was struck by the resemblance in the shape and colouring of their faces, except that the eyes of Hilary and Lionel were blue and grey, and of the General and Adrian brown and hazel. They all, notably, lacked gesture, and had a lean activity of figure. In Hubert these characteristics were accentuated by youth, and his hazel eyes at times looked almost grey.
“If only,” Michael heard his father say, “you could injunct her, Lionel?” and Adrian’s impatient:
“We must let Dinny alone; trying to control her is absurd. She’s got a warm heart, an unselfish nature, and plenty of sense.” Then Hubert’s retort:
“We know all that, Uncle, but the thing will be such a disaster for her, we must do what we can.”
“Well, what CAN you do?”
‘Exactly!’ thought Michael, and said: “Just now she doesn’t know how she stands.”
“You couldn’t get her to go out with you to the Soudan, Hubert?” said the Judge.
“I’ve lost all touch with her.”
“If someone wanted her badly—” began the General, and did not finish.
“Even then,” murmured Adrian, “only if she were quite sure Desert didn’t want her more.”
Hilary took out his pipe. “Has anyone tried Desert?”
“I have,” said the General.
“And I, twice,” muttered Michael.
“Suppose,” said Hubert gloomily, “I had a shot.”
“Not, my dear fellow,” put in Sir Lawrence, “unless you can be quite certain of keeping your temper.”
“I never can be certain of that.”
“Then don’t!”
“Would YOU go, Dad?” asked Michael.
“I?”
“He used to respect you.”
“Not even a blood relation!”
“You might take a chance, Lawrence,” said Hilary.
“But why?”
“None of the rest of us can, for one reason or another.”
“Why shouldn’t YOU?”
“In a way I agree with Adrian; it’s best to leave it all alone.”
“What exactly is the objection to Dinny’s marrying him?” asked Adrian. The General turned to him abruptly.
“She’d be marked out for life.”
“So was that fellow who stuck to his wife when she was convicted. Everybody respected him the more.”
“There’s no such sharp hell,” said the Judge, “as seeing fingers pointed at your life’s partner.”
“Dinny would learn not to notice them.”
“Forgive me, but you’re missing the point,” muttered Michael. “The point is Wilfrid’s own feeling. If he remains bitter about himself and marries her—that’ll be hell for her, if you like. And the fonder she is of him, the worse it’ll be.”
“You’re right, Michael,” said Sir Lawrence unexpectedly. “I’d think it well worth while to go if I could make him see that.”
Michael sighed.
“Whichever way it goes, it’s hell for poor Dinny.”
“‘Joy cometh in the morning,’” murmured Hilary through a cloud of smoke.
“Do you believe that, Uncle Hilary?”
“Not too much.”
“Dinny’s twenty-six. This is her first love. If it goes wrong– what then?”
“Marriage.”
“With somebody else?”
Hilary nodded.
“Lively!”
“Life is lively.”
“Well, Lawrence?” asked the General, sharply: “You’ll go?”
Sir Lawrence studied him for a moment, and then replied: “Yes.”
“Thank you!”
It was not clear to any of them what purpose would be served, but it was a decision of sorts, and at least could be carried out…
Wilfrid had lost most of his bruise and discarded the plaster on his chin when Sir Lawrence, encountering him on the stairs at Cork Street that same late afternoon, said:
“D’you mind if I walk a little way with you?”
“Not at all, sir.”
“Any particular direction?”
Wilfrid shrugged, and they walked side by side, till at last Sir Lawrence said:
“Nothing’s worse than not knowing where you’re going!”
“You’re right.”
“Then why go, especially if in doing it you take someone with you? Forgive my putting things crudely, but, except for Dinny, would you be caring a hang about all this business? What other ties have you got here?”
“None. I don’t want to discuss things. If you’ll forgive me, I’ll branch off.”
Sir Lawrence stopped. “Just one moment, and then I’ll do the branching. Have you realised that a man who has a quarrel with himself is not fit to live with until he’s got over it? That’s all I wanted to say; but it’s a good deal. Think it over!” And, raising his hat, Sir Lawrence turned on his heel. By George! He was well out of that! What an uncomfortable young man! And, after all, one had said all one had come to say! He walked towards Mount Street, reflecting on the limitations imposed by tradition. But for tradition, would Wilfrid mind being thought ‘yellow’? Would Dinny’s family care? Would Lyall have written his confounded poem? Would not the Corporal in the Buffs have kowtowed? Was a single one of the Cherrells, met in conclave, a real believing Christian? Not even Hilary—he would bet his boots! Yet not one of them could stomach this recantation. Not religion, but the refusal to take the ‘dare’! That was the rub to them. The imputation of cowardice, or at least of not caring for the good name of one’s country. Well! About a million British had died for that good name in the war; had they all died for a futility? Desert himself had nearly died for it, and got the M.C., or D.S.O., or something! All very contradictory! People cared for their country in a crowd, it seemed, but not in a desert; in France, but not in Darfur.