The room would cost me 200 baht a day and I’d spend at most 100 baht with meals. And, to pay all of that I’d just need to drink for free and have fun at a seaside bar? It was hard to believe.
The next morning Pamela and I arrived at our new house with our backpacks
A small table between two single beds and a mirror on the wall. Clean sheets, bath towels, a fan in the corner and curtains on the windows. That was the best room I could have wished for. The bathroom was shared with three other rooms identical to ours, one of them taken by André and another Brazilian. In fact, in a few days, those four rooms would become a true Brazilian village.
Pamela, whom I nicknamed Girlfriend,was fun and very lively. She crossed the whole Thailand cycling and she decided to stop at Koh Phi Phi to rest and enjoy the holidays. The same night we were both employed, dancing reggaeton by the sea. Everything about the job was true. The bar owner hired a staff of 12 tourists from around the world every night just to cheer up the customers and keep the house busy all night long. I couldn’t believe that sort of job existed. But it did. And I had attracted it to my life.
87 – A FAMILY OF TRAVELERS AND A VERY CRAZY CHRISTMAS
Almost every year, Felipe and I spent Christmas at my family’s house in Curitiba. My mother dressed as Mrs. Claus, painting her eyebrows with a white pencil and put on a wool wig. My nephew believed wholeheartedly that this lady with a pillow in her belly was Santa’s true wife. She’d go to our house to leave gifts every year, as her husband was too busy visiting other children.
In 2018, who would expect it, I would be on the other side of the world, on a paradise beach in Southeast Asia and my only family was a bunch of Brazilian travelers with no fixed addresses.
I bought a white belt and put it over the red dress I already had and went to work. It was funny being excited to work on Christmas Eve, but understandable. I’d get paid to drink and have fun in one of the best beach bars, while the vast majority of tourists there would spend money to do the same.
The next day, when my brother called me by video so that I could take part in the traditional Christmas dinner at my mother’s house, I was in the hostel’s pool, healing my Christmas hangover with plenty of water and painkillers. My time zone was 9 hours ahead of them.
- Where’s Santa Claus, aunt? – My nephew Gabriel asked.
- He must be flying to Brazil, he drank a lot yesterday here in Thailand – I joked knowing that a 7 year old boy would certainly not understand the sarcasm in my words.
- Behave yourself, miss Paula, – my mother warned as my brother directed the camera to her face.
- Don’t worry, mom. I can take care of myself.
The day after Christmas, we filled a rented long tail boat with beer and snacks and set off to see the most photographed set of islands in all Thailand, mainly because of Maya Bay, the setting for the movie “The Beach”. We spent all day drinking and visiting the most amazing place I’ve ever seen.
After crying in the foggy mountains in Cappadocia, I figured it would be very difficult to be dazzled by nature again, but the Pi Leh lagoon surprised me even more. By the time our boat was circling the massive mountain range, I was already overwhelmed. As we entered that turquoise paradise surrounded by rocks, I was speechless. Inside me, I just wondered if all of that was real.
I walked through the delicate sand, feeling the water touch my waist. I wanted to photograph, but nothing could translate the beauty my eyes could see.
For some reason, I remembered Felipe and our last hug on the stairs at our old house. Tears and the excruciating pain no longer existed.
Those days in Phi Phi, with my heart empty of love, were among the happiest of my life.
- Thank you for setting me free – I whispered softly before diving into the turquoise sea.
88 – A SPECIAL NEW YEAR’S EVE
Argentina, Germany, Morocco, Brazil and the United States. I took a little tour of the different kisses in my days working at that crazy bar in Koh Phi Phi. It was fun being free to say goodbye without leaving my phone or a piece of my heart in those casual romances. Except that these shallow and unimportant relationships was starting to tire me.
Since giving up Laurent completely when I arrived in Bangkok, I had already decided that I didn’t want to fall in love with anyone else until the end of the trip and my plan was going perfectly well.
Almost three weeks after my arrival in Koh Phi Phi, I got the first cold of the trip. Until then, the only time my immune system had failed was a nasal congestion in Portugal, certainly because of the cold baths in the Cascais Sea.
That flu in Thailand could even have been predicted. Every night we shared straws in the gin and vodka buckets, and all the travelers working at the bar had the same annoying cough.
A part of the Brazilians left Koh Phi Phi to celebrate New Year’s Eve in Koh Phangan and I didn’t go to the bar for a few days because of the fever, cough and different pains in every inch of my body.
When the last day of the year dawned, I packed my backpack and went out to ask for ferry prices and timetables for Phuket. When I returned to the hostel, determined to leave, Lully made a long explanation to convince me to stay. He said the parties in Phuket were not on the beach but inside the bars. He said that I would not have fun alone and that at least in Koh Phi Phi I was among Brazilian friends.
- Spend New Year’s with us. Let’s jump the waves together and hug each other. Tomorrow you go.
I decided to accept it, and instead of buying the one-way ticket, I bought a little white dress.
- I’m staying, but I won’t get drunk. I don’t wanna go to work, and I don’t wanna kiss anyone – I said, denouncing that drinking, work fatigue, and petty flirtations were the cause of my agony.
A few minutes before midnight, Lully, Pamela, and I were in a charming oceanfront restaurant where I could see my place of work. I had a white flower in my hair and I was happy to be with my friends.
- 8 minutes left. C’mon C’mon! – Lully pulled me by the arm, taking the glass of gin from my hands.
- I think I’d rather stay here – I told her.
- No! The boys are at the bar. Let’s wish Caio a happy New Year and thank the year by jumping the waves – Lully insisted – what’s the fun of spending New Year’s on a beach in Thailand and not stepping on the sea?
She was right. I would certainly regret not giving thanks for the best year of my life while in connection with the sea, the place that made me the happiest.
A few fireworks lit the sky. The main religious practice in Thailand is Buddhism and their “Songkran”, the Thai New Year, is only celebrated in April. Therefore, Christmas and New Year’s parties were for Western tourists only.
Even so, a string with the number 2019 was lit with fire in front of the bar. The beach was crowded and the tide very low. I walked between the boats stranded on the sand until I could put my feet in the water and give thanks.
It was impossible not to remember last New Year’s Eve when I was still married and pretending to be drinking beer so our friends wouldn’t suspect I might be pregnant. How much had happened in just a year! I couldn’t believe how much my life has changed.
I looked up at the sky and could see a movie of tears and smiles everywhere I went. I lived so many special things when I finally accepted that Felipe shouldn’t be forced with me. When I realized that I had abandoned my career and my dreams so many times for him was my choice. So many experiences had come just because I accepted that life can change and that I can’t control people’s hearts, just as I couldn’t control the movement of the waves that wet my feet.