I had never seen any similar sport, but it seemed to be the Vietnamese national passion. Apparently there were two different ways to play. Within a court, with a volleyball net in the middle, or in a circle, just as Brazilians play with a soccer ball.
The Chileans were quickly accepted into a circle and had fun learning the moves with a Vietnamese who claimed to be the coach of that sport, which I could never figure out the name. After the game, we strolled the public market and I saw Cristián try to bargain from eco-leather wallets to cheap fake sports shoes.
We entered a food market to escape the rain when the sun was setting, and we ended up getting excited about the beers. A live music show cheered up the place and, at some point in the night, the beer glasses were replaced with a bottle of rum.
Diogo and I were singing excitedly when I noticed the second bottle on the table. The next minute, I was waking up with Cristian kissing me voraciously, not caring about the hangover breath that morning brought me.
It was our last 24 hours together and we spent the day drinking lots of water and trying to figure out what had happened the night before. Cristián was the only one who remembered everything. The big problem is that we separated from Pablo and Diogo after smoking pot around the city and neither one of them could tell where they were until they found the hotel address at daybreak.
Diogo said he was seduced by two Vietnamese who took off their clothes and asked for 1 million dongs for sex, which was less than $50. He was grateful for not having the money, otherwise he would have paid it, he said.
Pablo, on the other hand, lost his cell phone, credit card and gave a 50 euros bill to a homeless person. No one understood the reason. “I think I was very happy,” he argued.
- Good thing you took care of me. If I wasn’t with you, I would certainly have a bizarre story to tell. – I hugged Cristian, feeling grateful.
- I wouldn’t say that. – He laughed looking at Diogo and Pablo.
- I did something wrong? – I asked, searching my mind for flashes from the night before.
- You kissed a Ukrainian on the mouth. And right in front of her husband, – he revealed, and everyone laughed.
- Goddammit! Really??? – I asked incredulously.
- Yes – Diogo added – You wanted me to kiss her, but I said I wouldn’t do it because her husband was next door. So you went there yourself and kissed her.
- Don’t worry – Cristián added – he didn’t care.
I didn’t feel embarrassed. I found it funny and had fun with my audacity. Kissing a woman in such a traditionalistic country, religiously speaking, and still in front of her husband? I had certainly lost my mind when I boarded to Vietnam after a boy ten years younger than me.
96 – GOODBYE TEARS
“I’m here without the strength to get out of bed while I hear your cheerful voice singing a sensual reggaeton. I’m trying to protect my heart from this storm that has collapsed every time you looked at me with such sweetness and fury at the same time. I was whole when you convinced me to give you that first kiss of 2019. I had my bags ready to leave that morning. I had a plan. I was giving my feelings a break because they always make a lot of mess. And now I’m here, trying to pick up the pieces that we scattered on the floor of Vietnam. I’m leaving, but I am leaving with you attached to me. ”
I wrote on my cell phone notepad as I listened to the shower marking the rhythm of the song Cristián hummed. I translated it into Spanish and sent it to his cell phone before turning off the bedroom light. My backpacks were ready in the armchair under the window. On the round wooden table, my sunglasses he broke on the night of our boozing at the market and a japamala with a green buddha image that I was leaving as a gift.
That early morning, Cristian made dozens of selfies with me, just as he always did when we were in bed talking about anything and laughing at absolutely everything. After we last loved each other, I let the tears stream from my eyes in silence, protected by the darkness of the room. I made a tremendous effort to keep my breathing natural and not move my body, but I couldn’t hide my tears for long.
We were awake and I could feel in the air that there were a thousand thoughts and words bubbling between us, but we didn’t know what to say. Cristian searched my cheek for a kiss, perhaps trying to give me some comfort. He didn’t know I was crying, but the pain of another goodbye was choking us both in that bed. It was like having an anvil pressing on our bodies.
- Are you crying, Paulinha? – he asked softly.
- Just a little. Don’t worry – I said, whispering not to denounce my nose completely jammed with the contained tears.
- Why, my princess? – He wiped my tears with his hand and realized I was lying. Even my hair was already wet.
I was silent, pinching my lips and my eyes, and trying to hold my breath to keep from sobbing.
I turned to the opposite side and when I felt the crying was under control, I went to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and released that contained energy from my body. Naked in front of the mirror, as the water slid down my back soothing my chest, I just thanked myself for allowing me to live this crazy adventure.
I didn’t sleep until my cell phone alarm went off at 5:30 in the morning.
- I’ll be waiting for you in Chile, with my arms wide open, my hot babe – he hugged me after I put the backpack on my back. – Diogo, come comfort me. Paulinha is leaving me! – he shouted, turning his head to the door that was already open.
I was torn to pieces. I was always the one who watched the other turn and leave. When I said good-bye to Laurent in Greece, I thought it would be easier to leave before him, but I found that it was not abandonment that hurt me, it was separation.
At the airport, while writing a poem full of metaphors on my Instagram, I remembered once again that it was exactly a year since Felipe and I had been apart. Certainly, my subconscious was enhancing that pain, since I knew that Cristián was just a seductive man with whom I had an adventure.
When Laurent and I stopped talking in Turkey, it was a few days before the anniversary of my father’s death, which was also a painful separation. If our emotions, together with our thoughts, create our reality, I was trying to understand how unconscious emotions can be interfering all the time with the outcomes of our choices.
That was too much to rationalize. I closed my eyes inside the plane and only woke up when I landed in Bangkok.
- Thank you so much for everything, my Paulinha. It was the most beautiful folly of love you could have done. Enjoy the rest of your trip, as you know how to do. If you really go to Chile, I’ll be waiting with open arms. I send you a kiss and an infinite hug.
Cristián’s message bothered me. When I sent my message hours earlier, while he was in the shower, I raised the expectation that he would respond with the same intensity as me. But that was my fault, and I couldn’t even complain.
97 – Stuck in a Village Called Pai
The mountains of northern Thailand were as amazing as their paradisiacal beaches. Despite my suffocating longing for Cristián, I was glad to be back. Chiang Mai was charming, cheap and full of temples as impressive as those of Bangkok. I stayed only two nights and went to Pai, which won me right away.
After the sickening 762 curves between Chiang Mai and Pai, I got off the van in the middle of the street market. Dozens of stalls with crafts, clothes and delicious sweet and savory foods. Pai has something of a hippie village that fascinates backpackers. The bed I booked cost less than $15 a night and a fairly tidy restaurant by Thai standards sold pad thai at 30 baht. In addition, several bars were hiring staff.