“Yes?”
“I love you.” It was just a whisper.
Blood rushed in her ears. A thrilling sensation washed over her even as cold dread settled in her stomach. She pulled away to scrutinize his expression.
It wasn’t right.
Something wasn’t right.
No.
This wasn’t real.
19
It hit her with a certainty she couldn’t deny.
She scrambled up and away from him, grabbing the discarded sheet and covering herself. She glared at Alan, reeling with panic and revulsion. She felt physically ill.
He wasn’t surprised. He just stared at her blankly, unmoving.
“This scenario displeases you, Dr. Jane Holloway?” rumbled in her head. “Shall I choose another? Perhaps a milieu of a less intimate nature? A memory? Mayhap Sectilius? To further familiarize you with cultural convention and conduct?”
“Ei’Brai—you bastard!” she spat at him.
“Contextualize this comment, if you please. You experience anger. Explain.”
She coughed against the back of her hand. “You just violated me!”
Shock and indignation met her outrage. “None of my appendages were involved in this tableau.”
She shook her head. “What?”
And yet, as she took a ragged breath, she could sense his confusion was real. She struggled to rein in the feeling that some kind of atrocity had just been committed against her—evaluate dispassionately what had actually just happened. They’d been reminded countless times that their cultural references meant absolutely nothing, hadn’t they?
She was human. He was not. That was a certainty. Did he have any idea what he’d just done?
His tone, his manner, said no.
A sense of astonished inquisitiveness suffused his mental touch. Tendrils of thought were moving in gingerly to investigate and analyze her reaction.
She tried to sound calmer. “Ei’Brai—you just manipulated me in a vile, disgusting manner!”
“Mating requires privacy among your kind. It is also a reprehensible act? This I did not perceive.” She got a brief flash of insight into his species’ mating rituals and her eyes went wide at the deadly savagery of it.
“You—it—I—oh, this is ridiculous.” She slumped on the bed, covering her face in her hands. This went so far beyond mere mortification. It was too much to process.
“This act was coveted by the pair of you, as individuals. It is much on Dr. Alan Bergen’s mind—the sequence you enjoyed was lifted almost seamlessly from his habitual musings on the topic of copulation. It is clear he greatly desires to engage in these behaviors with you. You also cogitate on the possibility of coition with him, frequently. It seemed a natural departure point, given your subconscious maundering.”
She clenched her fists tight, nails digging into her palms, the resultant pain fueling her fury. “I don’t want you rooting around in my subconscious maundering!”
A consternated, probing purr was his reply.
She concentrated all her mental energy to push him back through the mental layers to the surface of her thoughts. She registered nothing but startled surprise from him as she forced him back.
“Where am I—really? I’m still in the tank, aren’t I?”
His voice came back haughty, hurt. “Convalescence is nearly complete.”
“I want out. Now.”
“Unacceptable. Premature egress could result in permanent infirmity.”
“I don’t care. Let me out.”
“That is not rational.”
“It most certainly is. You’re toying with me. I’m not going to play along anymore.”
“On the contrary, I—”
“I see plainly what you think you were doing. You thought you were distracting me, but the scenario you chose crossed a line, Ei’Brai. Again.”
“It is to be expected. The Sectilius tolerate my shortcomings when it comes to cultural sensitivity. You are not as forbearing. The contrast is noted. I shall employ more caution going forward. Enlighten me, if you will. Is this an example of human cultural mores? Or more properly assigned to your own personal construct? How may we resolve this concern?”
His voice had taken a patronizing tone, precisely the kind of tone Brian took with her frequently—disdainful, like she wasn’t sophisticated enough to understand. It rankled, especially staring into Bergen’s blank expression.
“Turn off this fantasy—now!”
She sensed a begrudging reluctance as her surroundings dissolved. The reality of the tank crashed over her—the dark room, the light bathing her in a magenta glow. The complex network of filaments—now, seemingly doubled—restricted her movement even further.
She closed her eyes against it, wishing that other world had been real, that Alan had been real and safe and in love with her. She didn’t want to face this reality, trapped, where Alan might actually be dead.
But it didn’t do any good to wish. That didn’t solve anything. Nothing happened without action. It was time to stop letting things happen and start making them happen.
She painstakingly wove her fingers through the mesh toward her leg.
Ei’Brai emanated something akin to a mental glower. She ignored him. Her leg was numb and foreign-feeling, bristling with strands over every square inch. The fibers rustled under the brush of her hand like some kind of amorphous, invertebrate sea creature.
She lifted her head to look, but the gel distorted her vision and the threads formed a tight matrix that bound her, nearly mummified, in place. Frustration throbbed in her. The impulse to thrash and yank on the filaments was strong.
Ei’Brai manifested a thought, hidden from her before she could fully glimpse its purpose. Instinctively, she extended herself to follow it. It led her down pathways she had only glimpsed before, had never tried to explore. She sped down them, heedless, gleaning information along the way. Data flowed through her mind at a seemingly impossible pace. She marveled at how much of it made sense.
The atmosphere changed subtly from organic to digital as the thought she traced transitioned, bridging the gap between Ei’Brai and the ship’s neural-electric pathways. The sensation was wholly bizarre, but not troublesome. This was a command pathway, she realized, it was how he maintained control over the ship’s functions.
Abruptly, she became aware of his intent. Without hesitation, Jane countermanded Ei’Brai’s order for the device to deliver greater sedation and yet more restraint. Stunningly, the device accepted her command. Ei’Brai contracted, nonplussed at her sudden involvement.
She flexed within the system, feeling for other controls that she knew must be there. She couldn’t let the moment slip by. The layout was intuitively designed. The imprint in her mind seemed to include a blueprint of this framework, permitting unconscious ease of navigation.
Ei’Brai’s state of mind reflected some form of breathless anticipation as she explored the root command controls for the tank. Within seconds, she had it. Ei’Brai didn’t try to stop her as she executed the command. He merely watched as she directed the device to withdraw all medications, release and retract the mechanical filaments, and drain the gel.
Red warnings flashed into her consciousness. She ignored them. Circumventing safety protocols, consenting releases…she exhilarated, relishing the power of it. She felt a sense of accomplishment and realized with surprise that the same sentiment resonated in Ei’Brai’s mind.
A wave of nausea swept the gratification aside. Her body was regaining sensation. She gagged, trembling with a sudden chill, as she worked to accomplish her goals before she was dragged back to her own immediate, visceral needs. She didn’t have the control Ei’Brai had. She was incapable of segmentation, unable to multitask away pain or discomfort.