I found the worktable lined with oily scrolls spread out for cleaning and copying. There were fresh apples in a basket by the hearth chairs. They had not been ripe when last I was in this room. That little fact rocked me more than I expected it to. I sat down, focused myself, and reached for Chade. Where are you? I need to report. I need someone to help me make sense of this.
Ah! Excellent to hear you. I would very much welcome your report. We are in Verity’s tower. Can you make the climb?
I think so. But not swiftly. Wait for me.
I made the climb, but they did have to wait for me. When I emerged from the side of the hearth, I received a shock, for Lady Nettle, unmistakably Lady Nettle in her green gown and lace collar, was seated at the great table with Chade, Dutiful, and Thick. She looked only mildly surprised to see me emerge. I lifted a strand of cobwebs from across my eyes and shook it from my fingers into the hearth. Then, uncertain of my role, I offered a guard’s courteous bow to all of them and stood as if awaiting orders.
“Are you quite all right?” Dutiful asked me and came to offer me his arm to my seat at the table. I was too proud to take it, and even seated at the table, I was uncertain of how to proceed. Chade marked my furtive glances at Nettle, for he burst into a laugh and said, “Fitz, she’s a member of the coterie now. You must have expected it to come to this.”
I glanced at her. Her look was like a knife, and her words as cold and sharp as she sank them into me. “I know your name, FitzChivalry Farseer. I even know that I am your bastard daughter. My mother knew no Tom Badgerlock, you see. So, while you were in the infirmary, she went to see who had claimed to be her old friend. Then she came away and told me all. All.”
“She does not know ‘all,’” I said faintly. Abruptly I could think of no more to say. Chade got up hastily, poured brandy and brought it to me. My hand shook so that I could scarcely raise it to my mouth. “Well, your mother named you well,” Dutiful observed acidly to her. “As did yours,” Nettle replied sweetly.
“Enough, both of you. We will set this aside while Fitz tells us where he was while guards combed the entire kingdom for him.” Chade spoke quite firmly. “Molly is here? At Buckkeep?”
“Everyone is here at Buckkeep. The whole world came for Harvest Fest. Tomorrow night.” Thick spoke with satisfaction. “I get to help with the apple press.”
“My mother is here. And all my brothers. Who know nothing of any of this, and my mother and I have decided it is best that it remain that way. They are here because my father will be honored at Harvest Fest for his role in the slaying of the dragon. As will Swift, and the rest of the Wit coterie.”
“Good. I am glad of that,” I said, and I was, but my words came out dully. It was not just the shock of discovering that Harvest Fest was tomorrow. I felt plundered of dignity and control of my life. And oddly freed by it. The decision of when and how to tell Molly that I lived had been taken from me. She had seen me. She knew I lived. Perhaps the next move was hers. And the thought that followed that plunged me into an abyss. Perhaps she had already made it. She had walked away from me.
“Fitz?” I became aware that Chade had spoken to me several times when he touched me on the arm. I twitched and came back to awareness of the people at the table. Dutiful looked sympathetic, Nettle distant, and Thick bored. Chade rested a hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Would you report to the coterie on where you have been and what happened to you? I have my suspicions, but I’d like them confirmed.” Habit made me begin from the last time he’d heard from me. I was blithely telling them of entering the Black Man’s abode when I suddenly became reluctant to share all the Fool had said. So I looked at my hands on the table and summarized it, leaving out as many of the intimate details as I could. Of those who sat at the table, only Chade perhaps had a glimmering of what my parting from the Fool meant. Without thinking, I said aloud, “But I did not go back, and you say I’ve been gone over a month. I do not know what they will make of that absence. I want to go back, but now I fear the pillars as I never have before.”
“And well you should, if what I have read in the Skill scrolls you brought back is an indicator. But more of that later. Tell the rest.”
And so I did, of leaving and claiming the scrolls and disposing of the woman’s body. Chade was fascinated by the Elderling magic of lights and warmth, and asked many questions about the cubes of memory stone that I could not answer. I saw him already itching to attempt the trip and explore for himself that magically charged realm. I went on to Prilkop’s farewell, and then to my endless passage through the pillars. When I spoke of the being who had rescued me, Dutiful sat up very straight. “Like the ones from our time on the Others beach.”
“Like and not like. I think there, our minds were in their world. In the pillars, my body was there, as well. Since I’ve returned, I’ve felt… strange. More alive in some ways. More connected, to even the tiniest bits of this world. And yet more alone, also.” And then I fell silent. There seemed nothing to add to my account. I glanced at Nettle. She met my gaze with a neutral little look that said I meant nothing to her and never had. Chade seemed to feel he had enough to ponder, for he pushed back from the table like a man who has finished a substantial meal. “Well. A tale that will take some thought to sort out, and enough lessons for now. All of us have tasks to get to with Harvest Fest just around the corner. There will be a gathering tonight, in the Great Hall, with music and jugglers and dancing and tales. Many of our Outislander friends will be there, as well as all our dukes. I shall see the rest of you there tonight, I am sure.”
When they continued to sit and look at him, he added heavily, “And I would speak privately with Fitz now.” Thick stood up. So did Nettle. “After I speak privately with Fitz,” Dutiful announced calmly. Thick looked perplexed, but immediately added, “Me, too.”
“Not I,” Nettle said coolly as she walked toward the door. “I can’t imagine anything I’d ever want to say to him.”
Thick stood rooted in place, his eyes darting from Nettle to Dutiful. He was obviously torn. I managed to dredge up a smile for him. “You and I will have lots of time later, Thick. I promise.”
“Ya,” he agreed abruptly, and managed to catch the door before it had completely closed behind Nettle. He followed her out. Dutiful gave Chade a glance and the councilor retreated to stand by the window looking out over the sea. Plainly it was not what Dutiful wanted. Just as plainly, the power struggle between councilor and prince continued. I looked at Dutiful. He sat down in the chair next to me and drew it closer. He spoke softly and I expected to hear of his concerns with the Narcheska and his betrothal. “I’ve talked with her a lot about you. She’s angry with you right now, but I think if you’ll give her time, she can calm down enough to listen to you.”
It took me a moment. “Nettle?”
“Of course.”
“You talked about me a lot with her?” Better and better, I thought sourly to myself. Dutiful sensed my dismay. “I had to,” he said defensively. “She was saying things like, ‘He abandoned my mother when she was pregnant, and never came to see me at all.’ I couldn’t let her just say things like that, let alone believe them. So I’ve told her the truth, as you told it to me.”