‘That’s rubbish,’ I told him. ‘For a start, don’t worry about the Bench: I don’t need to remind you that it has a fairly recent history of embarrassing itself. As for the family. . I speak for it, for every single member, and I’m telling you that if you decline this honour, our disappointment in you would be far greater than any awkwardness caused by a bloody silly snapshot. You’re going to be installed, and you’re going to become as great a judge as everybody’s been predicting. Okay, what’s the worst case? Someone runs the picture with a large black stripe obscuring your dick. At least you were pointing it at a female at the time. That’ll probably come as a welcome relief to your fellow judges.’
He managed a weak grin at that one.
‘Harvey,’ I went on, ‘you might think you’re asking for my advice, but you’re not. What you really want is my help, and you’re going to get it.’
‘Oz, I couldn’t possibly ask you to involve yourself in this sordid business.’
‘You don’t have to. You’re my sister’s husband. What affects you affects her, even if she is likely to greet the news with a roar of laughter that would knock you over when you tell her. . as you must.’
‘But what can you do?’
‘As much as I can. For openers, I’m going to ask a woman named Alison Goodchild to call you. She’s the best media-relations consultant in town. You’ll brief her and she’ll put together a response for you, in the event that this nonsense does go public. It’ll be full and frank: I know from experience that you never gain by being evasive in circumstances like these. Once that’s under way, I’m going to find this ex of yours and I’m going to get those negatives from her.’
‘How?’
‘Quietly, very quietly, and very discreetly.’
‘But legally, Oz, it has to be legally.’
‘Harvey, I’m not going to steal the damn things, but if you’re worried about my methods, I’ll simply find the woman, then sit you and her down at the same table and let the pair of you sort it out.’
‘That wouldn’t work. I can’t tell you how vindictive Maddy can be: the very sight of me would trigger her off.’
‘Sounds like she’s well named.’
‘You could be right: there’s always been a crazy streak about her. That’s what attracted me in the first place.’ He glanced at me. ‘Maybe you can understand that.’
He didn’t have to explain. ‘As with me and Primavera? You may have a point there, but which of us is crazy? There are differing views on that.’
‘I know which one of you I’d rely on in a crisis. I’m demonstrating that right now. If you want me to see this Goodchild woman, I will, even though it runs against all my instincts.’
‘Don’t worry about it: Alison’s ethics are as sound as yours. You tell her something in confidence and she’ll never repeat it, not even if she was under oath. . not even if it was you on the Bench demanding an answer.’
‘I’m not enjoying these images, Oz. How will you find Madeleine? You’re a busy man, and when you’re between films there’s Susie and the kids.’
‘It won’t be difficult,’ I assured him. ‘And besides, I know the very bloke who can help me.’
11
I still look up to Ewan Capperauld; it seems like no time at all since we met at a cast gathering in Edinburgh before we started to shoot Skinner’s Rules, which turned out to be my breakthrough movie, the one in which I realised I knew what I was doing.
Indeed, to normal people it would be no time at all, but guys like us aren’t normal. A lot has happened to both of us since then, in career terms. Mine has rocketed, while Ewan’s seems to have settled on a plateau. He’s still A list, no doubt about that, but I’ve overtaken him in every respect, choice of parts, billing and inevitably, because everything is interlinked, money. He isn’t jealous, though: he knows there’s no logic to our business. The first time we met, his luvvie side got a bit out of control, but since then he’s treated me as a friend and a professional colleague, and I’m proud of that.
I hadn’t expected him to be in Edinburgh when I phoned Alison Goodchild to arrange for her to call Harvey. . he has an interest in her business, so I asked her if she knew his whereabouts, and was surprised when she told me that he was in town visiting his parents.
He was there when I called their number, and more than happy to meet me in the Caley Hotel for a drink. In days gone by we’d have been more at home in somewhere like Whigham’s, but honestly, if we’re after privacy, places like that are no longer an option, even in a city which knows that both of us are no better than we should be.
‘Good to see you, Oz,’ he began, as we settled down at a small corner table. ‘The more I see of your career, the more gob-smacked I get.’
‘It’s ’ard to stay ’umble,’ I replied. ‘So I’ve given up trying. Seriously, though, it’s all down to Miles for giving me a start and to Roscoe Brown, my agent, for building on it.’
‘I wish he was mine,’ Ewan murmured. ‘I feel I could use a little. . added impetus, let’s say.’
‘Why shouldn’t he be?’
‘Would he take me on? I’ve never found a satisfactory replacement for Margaret, you know.’ His ex-wife had been his agent, until she had gone rather spectacularly off the rails.
‘Of course he would. He’s still growing, and on the look-out for top talent. Want me to get him to call you?’
He scratched his stubbled chin, then made a decision. ‘Yes. Why not? No harm done in talking to him. Thanks for that, Oz. Anything I can do for you in return?’
I grinned, a little embarrassed at having to admit that there had been an ulterior motive for my call. ‘As it happens there is. I’m trying to trace an actor named Rory Roseberry. He’s not in our league, but you’ve been around longer than I have so I wondered if you might have run into him way back.’
‘You don’t have a part for him, do you?’
‘Not as far as I know. No, I’m trying to trace somebody through him.’
‘It wouldn’t be Mad Maddy January, would it?’
I should have expected him to make a connection, yet I was taken by surprise. ‘As a matter of fact it is. How did you guess?’
‘I read the Scotsman, old son. I know that your sister married her ex last year.’
‘You know Madeleine?’
‘Past tense, Oz. Let’s say I knew her fleetingly, and biblically, I should be ashamed to say, about fifteen years ago. I wasn’t alone in having that distinction: she had a thing about actors. My shame comes from being aware at the time that there was a husband in her background, and from the fact that there was a wife in mine.’
‘What was she like?’
‘Wild, and captivating; bloody gorgeous. The sort of girl you just know, if you meet her early enough, is going to make some poor sod a terrible wife some day. I bumped into your in-law once, a few years later at a civic reception in the City Chambers that I attended with Margaret. She was with him, and yet not, if you know what I mean. She was chatting up some bloke on the far side of the room. I felt sorry for Harvey: I could see that he’d given up trying to cope with her. When my path crossed hers that evening, I tried to blank her, but she gave me a wink that would really have shopped me to my wife, had she seen it. Dangerous woman; it wasn’t long after that that she was caught in flagrante with Rosebud.’
‘Rosebud? Is that Roseberry’s nickname?’
Ewan chuckled. ‘Old son, it’s his real fucking name: he was christened Roderick Rosebud. His nickname is “Sledge”. How could it be anything else?’
‘That must have ruined Citizen Kane for a lot of people who hadn’t seen it before they met him. What do you know about him? Is Maddy still with him?’
‘I don’t know if she ever really was, or if it was just another fling. You’ll need to speak to him about that.’
‘Is he still around?’
‘Sure. I saw a mention of his name last week, in a review of Death of a Salesman at Pitlochry Festival Theatre.’