Confession may or may not be good for the soul, but it can be a wise precaution. I decided that as soon as I got back I’d phone Susie and fill her in on every detail of my exciting evening, including my fixing up a meet with Marie Lin to talk a deal about a part in the movie of Blue Star Falling.
That’s what I’d planned, honest; Susie would believe me. . of course she would.
It was eleven thirty by the time Mike and I got back to the Stamford. It hadn’t occurred to me for a moment that Marie would still be there, but she was, at a table in the foyer bar, close to the waitress station. I nodded good night to Dylan and headed towards her.
‘Hey,’ I said, as I approached, ‘what are you doing? A woman on her own at this time of night? There’s flight crew coming in and out of this place all the time. You don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.’
She laughed quietly, as if she was amused by my concern. ‘They only get the wrong idea if I give it to them, and I won’t do that. I waited because your friend said there had been trouble at the Next Page.’ She looked me up and down, as if she was checking that I had no bits missing. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine, honest.’
‘What happened?’
I had hoped not to get into that with her. ‘A man died there. We had to wait for the police to come.’
She frowned. It was the first time I had seen her without a smile on her face; it didn’t make her any less beautiful. ‘What happened to him?’
‘The policeman who came said it looked like a heart-attack. ’ I hoped that Sammy Grant hadn’t told her anything different.
‘Oh dear,’ she murmured. ‘What a pity. Who was he? Do you know?’
‘It was the man I was looking for this morning at Riverside, Lee Kan Tong.’
‘Ah, did you go there to meet him?’
‘No. I was surprised to see him there.’ I gazed around, the place was virtually deserted. ‘I guess the City Space will be closing soon,’ I said.
‘I think midnight,’ Marie replied.
‘I have my own bar, and it’s almost as high. Would you like to come up?’ I had to go up anyway: I was still carrying fifty grand US in a knapsack.
‘That depends,’ she murmured, ‘on what I’m coming up for.’
I dug out my wallet from my pocket and showed her the photo of Susie and the children. ‘Does that answer your question?’
The smile was back. ‘Not really, but I’ll come.’
The suite wasn’t as gaudy as some I’ve had, but it was pretty comfortable. The evening chambermaid had been in, the lighting was dimmed, the folding doors that led to the sleeping area were open, and the cover on the Olympic-size bed had been turned down. Marie took a seat on the sofa in the sitting room, while I put the cash back into the safe, poured two glasses of dry white wine and pulled back the thin gauze curtain to give us an uninterrupted view of the city.
‘Where do you live?’ she asked, as I sat beside her.
‘I live in a few places; at the moment my family are in our house in Monaco.’
‘Monaco?’
‘Monte Carlo.’
‘Ah, yes, I have heard of it: the fairy-tale kingdom, the place where Grace Kelly went.’
‘The place where Grace Kelly died. I saw their graves a few days ago, hers and Prince Rainier’s. They’re in the cathedral, near the Grimaldi palace.’
‘My mother loved Hollywood movies,’ she said. ‘I think that’s why I’m an actress. She told me the story of the beautiful American actress who became a princess. I thought it was wonderful. . that they lived happily ever after.’
‘But they didn’t,’ I had to point out. ‘Nobody lives happily ever after. She died in a car accident and he spent the rest of his rich and powerful fairy-tale life grieving for her. Now their bones are under two slabs behind the altar. Where their spirits are. . well, that’s the part we hope for, that’s what faith and religion and all that stuff is about. Forget about ever after, Marie, just live happily when you can.’
‘You sound cynical.’
‘I’m not a cynic, I’m a realist. Up until six years ago, I was a dreamer; I accepted all that romantic stuff too. Now I know the truth: in life there are more horror stories than fairy-tales.’
She slid her hand into mine; I don’t remember ever feeling the touch of softer skin. ‘What happened to make you believe that?’ she murmured.
‘I can’t talk about that, not any more. I’ve had a second chance, though, and I’m going to protect it. Anyone who tries to threaten my family will have to deal with me and, when I’m away, with a man called Conrad. They shouldn’t, though; either one of us would kill them if we had to.’
‘It must be very scary to be loved by you.’
‘What?’
‘You’re so intense. You aren’t a bit like they make you seem in the movies.’
‘But scary?’
‘What you feel is so strong. For a moment, I had a flash of what it would be like to be your enemy; it wasn’t nice.’
I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. ‘I’m sorry,’ I told her. ‘I shouldn’t let you think of me that way. I saw someone die tonight, just three hours ago; I guess it’s affected me.’
‘Then stop thinking about it.’ She touched my face gently, turned it towards her and kissed me. It was very gentle, and very tender, and it went on for quite a long time. When she broke off, I felt soothed, softened, my hard, jagged edges rubbed away, and the night didn’t feel quite so dark.
She laid her head on my shoulder and we looked at the lights of Singapore; there were still monsters out there, I knew. One of them had shoved a blade through Tony Lee’s heart, and would get away with it, because that’s the way things are sometimes. But with Marie, in that room, I felt as if I was in a beast-free zone. There was something about her that seemed to build around me the same kind of invisible security forcefield that being with Susie and the kids gives me. They’re my island of tranquillity and at that moment I needed them badly: they were far away, but Marie was there, and her goodness was hauling me back from the places I’d been since I’d met Maddy January in Fort Siloso.
Without her being aware of it, she was reminding me of something I knew, that monsters threaten us on two levels: first, because they are what they are, but also, because when we get down there where they live and tackle them on their own terms, as sometimes we must, then all too easily, without realising it, we can become like them.
27
She stayed with me until after two. I think I dozed off for part of the time, and maybe she did too; eventually I asked her if she wanted to go home. Maybe I was really asking her if she wanted to sleep with me, although honestly, I don’t think I was. In any event, she said that she should, so I saw her to the elevator and down into the lobby.
There were no taxis at the rank outside, not unreasonably since it was the middle of the night, so we walked round to North Bridge Road, where I could flag one down. ‘Are you working tomorrow?’ I asked, as we waited. ‘Will I find you at the theatre if I’m free for lunch?’
‘No,’ she replied. ‘I’m never there on Mondays. Tomorrow I have to see about auditions: there are some productions coming up and I hope to get work.’
‘I’ll have a part for you,’ I said, ‘once I get back to work. I’ve bought the rights to a book; I don’t know for sure when we’ll make the movie, not this year, but probably next. Meantime, if you really want to leave Singapore and can sort out a US visa, I can find you some other work.’
‘But you’ve never seen me act, Oz.’
‘Miles Grayson had never seen me act either, before he cast me in my first movie. He took a chance and it paid off. I’ll do the same with you.’
She looked me dead in the eye. ‘Why?’
‘Because I like you.’
‘You don’t just want to get into my pants?’
‘No, but could I, if I did?’