"She will forgive you. Just promise to behave," the old woman said as she went out of the room after patting Raisa on the face lovingly.
Raisa stood in front of Carolyn. She looked magnificent with her dark wind blown hair. Her face was flushed from the ride, her blouse half opened; her white riding pants snug to her body and with high black riding boots she was the epitome of raw power and unbridled sensuality. Carolyn was suddenly filled with a hunger that shook her and she turned around and walked slowly to the window.
Raisa came up behind her until both barely touched. After a moment she spoke softly. "I'm sorry I frightened you."
"You always frighten me," Carolyn said just as softly. "Your whole world frightens me."
Carolyn felt arms come from behind her and pull her close until she could feel Raisa's body as if it were her second skin. She could hear Raisa's breathing in her ear. And an ache began inside her.
"Ahhhh...." Moaned Carolyn as her head went back onto Raisa's shoulder. She was suddenly and quickly turned around. Her mouth was taken with the passion she so feared and could not stay away from.
"Raisa, wait..." she said between the onslaughts.
"No, I need you now." And with that all words were silenced.
Carolyn tasted the saltiness of the sweat that covered Raisa's body and it only added to the desire growing within her.
Hours later when she woke she was alone in bed again and again only with the memory of the arms that had held her, the mouth that had teased and tasted her and the hands that had caressed and possessed her.
~~~~~~~~~~
Raisa walked towards where Nona was sitting. Somehow she knew she would end up here.
Nona sat, as if waiting for her. Raisa walked up to her and sat down quietly at her Nona's feet. Suddenly, the proud dark head came down on the old woman's lap. The old woman caressed the dark locks of hair as she done so many years ago.
"Cara Mia. You have been away so long," Nona said softly.
Raisa closed her eyes. "Yes, Nona."
"Tell me about your friend." The old woman asked as she kept caressing the dark head of hair.
Raisa got up and took a few steps away.
The old woman waited silently.
With her back to the old woman she began to speak.
"I need her," she said simply.
The old woman still waited. Raisa finally turned around and faced her. "I love her." There, she had said it out loud. She locked eyes with the old woman defiantly.
"This is the one you have chosen?"
"Yes."
"Good," said the old woman simply.
Raisa's strength seemed to have left her. And now she looked to the old woman like a frightened child. "You know about me?" She asked softly.
"Cara Mia. You are my little girl; I know all about you" she opened her arms as the now sobbing woman went into them. "Te quiero, Cara Mia. Te quiero." She held Raisa closer to her as she caressed the dark head of hair and she comforted her child with the reassurance of her love.
~~~~~~~~~~
Late in the afternoon, almost as if by silent understanding, Carolyn walked outside and Raisa was suddenly besides her. She looked different somehow; both gave each other a shy smile and started walking side by side.
Carolyn looked around her and was amazed with the sheer beauty and an almost dreamy like stillness all around them. Peacocks strolled not too far from them and occasionally would open their feathers and parade them to attract their mates.
"What a beautiful bird," Carolyn commented softly.
"Yes, did you know that the one with the beautiful feathers is the male?"
"Really, totally unlike humans, huh?"
"Less sure to attract because of its prickly demeanor perhaps, it needs the beautiful feathers," Raisa said seriously staring at the magnificent birds.
Carolyn now looked at her. "I guess they are as blind as some of us then."
Raisa looked at her now curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Looking for outer beauty," Carolyn said simply and now she looked away at the birds.
Raisa looked puzzled. "We all look for outer beauty."
"Is that what attracts?" Carolyn asked still looking at the birds as she started walking again. Raisa started walking next to her.
"Some...it attracts some," Raisa answered uncomfortably.
"Is that how it is with you?" Carolyn stopped now and turned to face her.
Raisa stopped in front of her looking down at her hands as they interlocked nervously.
"Never mind," said Carolyn sadly and started walking away.
"Wait!" Raisa said as she caught up with her.
"Is it always this warm this time of the year here?" Carolyn asked in faked politeness.
"You aren't talking to me!" Raisa grabbed her arm and turned her around to face her.
"And who am I talking to?" Carolyn said in exasperation.
Raisa suddenly released her and took a few steps away. She would have normally just walk away and not bother, but with Carolyn it was different. It was obvious Raisa was upset as she turned with the wildness in her eyes again but unlike so many other times she had not run.
"Why must you always provoke me?" She asked in exasperation.
"I don't want to fight," Carolyn said and started walking back to the house.
"What do you want from me?" Raisa demanded in anger.
Carolyn yelled as she kept on walking. "Get a life, you egotistical bitch! And leave me alone!"
"I need you!" Raisa yelled out in pain.
Carolyn stopped and turned around slowly. She saw Raisa moving quickly towards her but stopped abruptly in front of her.
"What do you want me to say Carolyn, that I would want you even if you weren't beautiful?" Raisa asked in agitation.
Carolyn looked down feeling uncomfortable in the situation she found herself in. "No..." She said softly as she looked down.
"I would want you if I were blind and had never seen you," Raisa said softly. "I can't breathe, eat or sleep without thinking of you."
Carolyn looked up into the eyes that were now soft, filled with uncertainty and fear. "I don't know how to do this." Raisa's words could hardly be heard.
Carolyn raised her hand and caressed the softness of the face in front of her. Her lips were close to Raisa's, but for some reason unbeknown to her, still waiting. Then suddenly the words came.
"I love you Carolyn," Raisa said barely beyond a whisper and Carolyn's lips met hers tenderly.
Raisa's arms went around her gently and held her close. When their mouths parted Raisa's eyes avoided the others but her arms still held the woman in them. She was like a deer caught by a bright light, frozen, unable to flee.
"I love you too," Carolyn said softly and Raisa's head came up quickly searching the eyes in front of her.
She stared at Carolyn in disbelief. Suddenly, she pulled her into her arms so tightly that Carolyn could hardly breathe. "Te amo." And this time her mouth was filled with the taste and promise of passion to come.
~~~~~~~~~~
For the next two days they took walks and rode in the mornings together. Raisa would take Simon down to the river to pick sweet fruits and Caroline would set up a picnic near by in the afternoons for lunch.
All that passed between them were warm looks that caressed and spoke of love. The words they shared were considerate and tender. They waltzed around one another with care with the uncertainty and excitement of their newfound love.
Carolyn was touched with the patience that Raisa showed Simon in everything. She was like another woman here. Nona had been right. Raisa was unique; every moment with her brought new and wonderful surprises. Here at Virago she was a different woman. Or perhaps it was because she seemed happy. That was the phrase that struck Carolyn as she saw Raisa and Simon running back towards her from the river. Raisa seemed happy.