"Yes." Raisa watched him as he moved around the room. He was a part of Carolyn, her mind kept telling her over and over again and he was here.
"Why are you here Simon?" She asked as she sat down on the sofa and crossed her legs.
He turned around and walked over to a chair close to her and sat down. He seemed to be trying to find the words.
"Did your mother send you?"
"No!" His head suddenly came up. "She doesn't know I'm here."
Raisa waited. The boy took a long breath and it all seemed to pour out of him.
"My mother is not happy. I know that you loved her once. Things between her and my father were never good but I thought.....I know that I was to blame for her leaving and coming back here."
"Simon..."
He did not let her speak. "I know that you two were....." He looked down to the floor. And Raisa said nothing. "I know that she loved you. I didn't understand then. She was so happy then....I want to know if you still love her?"
Raisa never expected this. She got up and walked towards the glass wall in front of her. She spoke softly still with her back towards Simon.
"That was a long time ago Simon."
"My father doesn't deserve her."
"She chose him."
"I told her I wouldn't stay with her if she stayed." As soon as he said it she turned to face him. He looked ashamed and it showed on his young face. "She wanted to stay."
Raisa took a deep breath before speaking. This whole night had been something she had not expected.
"It was a long time ago Simon. We were both young. It's been 10years."
"I know she still loves you."
"Matt, I don't think we should be discussing your mother like this." She tried to put some distance between them.
"If you love her..."
"It's not always enough Simon."
He looked at her and said nothing. She began to feel uncomfortable under his speculative eyes.
"I love my mother. He doesn't. I know now he never has. I don't know if he loves anyone beside himself. He takes a little part of her away almost every day. One day.... She will just disappear. At least I'm fighting for her. Amanda is just fighting. I thought that real love never dies?"
Raisa looked at him without so much as breathing. He walked up to her and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "That's for being so good to me when we were at Virago. I never thanked you." He turned around and slowly walked out.
She walked again towards the glass wall. She looked on and saw all the lights before her. And in the reflection of the dark glass a tear could be seen escaping her eye as it ran down her face.
~~~~~~~~~~
The next day she was packed up and sitting on first class on her way back to Venezuela. She was going home. Europe would have to wait.
Suddenly her cell phone rang. "Oigo?" Hello? She became visibly pale.
"Have a jet fueled and ready for me at the airport!" Raisa said as her hands began to shake. Her life was coming full circle.
~~~~~~~~~~
She arrived at Virago and ran up the steps. No one had to tell her how grave the situation was, she could see it in their faces. Raisa went directly to the Nona's room
"Nona!" She knelt down next to the bed.
"I've been waiting for you. I knew you would come." Raisa could see that the eyes seemed dull and not even her smile held that usual vibrancy.
"You have been very naughty, I should be angry with you," she said softly.
"No, don't be angry Mi angel, I didn't want to worry you." The old woman said with difficulty.
Raisa smiled and looked down as her hand covered Nona's. She suddenly noticed how the old woman's hand was frail and thin. She looked up again and all the fear that lay in her showed in her eyes.
"You must fight for your happiness. I know that there is so much love inside you Mi angel." Nona's hand reached out and caressed the face that she had loved so dearly. She had given Raisa all of the tenderness and love she had once given her own daughter before she died. She would do all possible to get this the child closest to her heart to find joy at last.
"All I need is you," Raisa was barely able to say as tears ran freely down her face.
"Pick a horse for my sake and ride him. Open your heart. You have one even if you try to hide it. And it's a strong heart. A good heart."
"No, Nona..."
"You will go on and you will do this for me?" The old woman asked as her eyes filled with tears as well. "From the first day I saw you I loved you. You cried with all the vigor of life inside you. Be who you are. Be my strong and brave little soldier. It is a role that suits you. You have fought your whole life. Now you must fight for your happiness."
"Don't go. Please stay with me," she cried as her face went down and touched the old woman's hand.
Nona caressed the dark tresses lovingly as she always had. "I will always be with you. Mi angel...love never dies. Remember that - love never dies."
Raisa's face lay on that hand as her tears came of their own volition. She felt when the caresses to her hair stopped. And at that moment she knew.
She never raised her head as sobs racked her body. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."
~~~~~~~~~~
This unfeelingnes seemed to fit her like a glove. It had been three weeks since Nona had been buried. She still wore mourning colors. But, unlike other times, she had not run. This time she had stayed. She walked around the entire hacienda everyday.
All the old servants that had recognized her devotion to the old woman looked at her in sadness. They saw the pain in her eyes that she thought was so well hidden. They doted on her and even went out of their way to make her favorite dishes but even so most of the times the dishes returned to the kitchen barely touched.
Raisa had gotten thinner and to anyone who looked at her she simply looked more chiseled in features. But, then again, who really knew her? If they only knew that the once feared and powerful woman cried herself to sleep every night. Or that she slept sitting in a chair because she could not bear the memories of the woman she loved that had once shared that bed. And yet, she had stayed in Virago.
As she walked it suddenly occurred to her that all that she had ever really and truly loved had been at Virago. All that had shaped her, hurt her or meant anything to her had been or come from there. She looked around and almost at that same instant the lush greenery that surrounded her seemed to be alive. A breeze like many from a long time ago came slowly and caressed her starved skin. She inhaled the sweetness of the earth beneath her and she felt the power of this land that called out to her once more.
She closed her eyes and as she opened them she was filled with a longing she could no longer deny. She had asked for a sign and when it came she had not seen it. And now this place that was her life force had once again made it all clear to her. It was so simple. Love never dies.
Raisa looked around once more and walked in a rush to the stables.
"Tomas?"
"I'm here."
"Good, are those the new horses?"
"Yes."
"Come," she said simply and the ranch hand followed.
She leaned against the fence and looked as the horses ran around and played. After a few minutes she saw it. It was a bay with sharp eyes. The horse seemed arrogant and she recognized it as spirit. She pointed to it.
"Separate that mare from the rest and put her in my stall. Order a name plate for her."
Tomas smiled "What shall I put on it?"
She looked at him and a sad smile appeared as she said. "Esperanza."
The name Hope seemed appropriate. She looked at the horse once more than headed back to the main house.
~~~~~~~~~~
Four days later Raisa arrived at Dallas International Airport. Arrangements had been made and a car waited for her. She was rushed through customs. The limousine took her to the penthouse she always stayed in when she came to Dallas; one of Copecos' many properties. Within hours she had made sure to touch base with her office and Caracas and instructed all inquiries to be re routed to Dallas.