Carolyn turned around and tried to straighten her hair and blouse.
Raisa walked towards Simon and put her hand out trying to give her a moment to pull herself together.
"Hello Simon."
"Hi," he said with a smile.
"Your mother invited me to lunch," she said a little embarrassed finding it hard to look at him straight in the eyes.
Carolyn turned around and looked in astonishment. "Simon, this is Raisa."
"Hi," Simon said theatrically. "I know who she is Mom," he added with a smile.
"Amanda likes you," Simon said to Raisa.
"I like her too," Raisa said with a smile.
Carolyn looked at them in surprise as she saw the bantering back and forth.
"Do I smell tomato soup?"
"That's what your mother said." Raisa smiled and looked at Carolyn. Carolyn stared back and shook her head as she laughed out loud.
"Follow me to the kitchen you two." She walked past them and Simon and Raisa followed behind laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Well, that was great. Thank you for lunch," Raisa said suddenly and got up. Carolyn stood beside her.
"Did you come in a cab?"
"Actually I did," she said with a smile.
"Simon can take you back," Carolyn said, both women unable to break eye contact.
Simon smiled and decided to interfere.
"Mom, I can pick up Amanda and we can order something if you want to spend some more time catching up."
Raisa looked at Simon with a big smile and he smiled back. Carolyn could not believe what she was seeing.
"Why do I have the feeling I am being bushwhacked?"
"Us?" Both Simon and Raisa said in unison and all three started laughing.
"Okay, I'll give you a lift back to your hotel." Carolyn finally said. "Simon, no McDonalds okay?"
"Oh Mom..."
Raisa touched her arm and Carolyn saw the begging smile in her face as well. "Okay, Simon. But just this once."
"Yes! I owe you," he said to Raisa.
"You have lots of credit," she said with a smile.
~~~~~~~~~~
Carolyn went up to the penthouse with Raisa. She had not been asked it was just understood. The silent language between them was coming back faster than they could decipher it.
"When will you return to Venezuela?" Carolyn asked as she looked down. She had sat down at the other end of the couch.
"No hurry. No one waiting for me," Raisa stated simply.
"Of course there is. You have Andreas's son and Nona," Carolyn said indignantly.
"Antonio is in boarding school in Switzerland and Nona...she died 4 weeks ago," Raisa said as she got up and walked to the glass wall.
Carolyn allowed the impact of the words to sink in. Nona was dead.
Suddenly Raisa felt two arms come from behind her. For a moment she hesitated and then she allowed love to come in. She melted into those arms that held her up from behind and she leaned into their strength.
Carolyn could almost feel when Raisa's legs gave out. They both sat on the floor. Raisa began to cry in earnest and Carolyn still held her tightly.
The dark head fell back as the saddest sobs Carolyn had ever heard a human being make were heard. Finally, she had been allowed in. Raisa was trusting her with her pain and her heart. The woman she loved became both child and adult and all the pain she had held for so long came out with every tear and eye sob.
The room that had been covered in sunlight was now covered in darkness. Carolyn held her closely to her tightly still. Raisa had fallen asleep in her arms sometime ago.
Carolyn now realized that she had seen the signs. Raisa seemed sadder, softer and yes, more vulnerable to those that had eyes and cared enough to look. She was hurting inside. And this time she had no safety net to run to. Carolyn held her tighter and Raisa stirred.
Raisa tried sitting up. She looked around disoriented and once her eyes met Carolyn's they filled with tears again and she went into her embrace. "Don't go."
"I won't leave," Carolyn reassured her. "Come, let me take care of you."
Carolyn got up and held her hand out. Raisa looked up and gave her hand without hesitation.
~~~~~~~~~~
Carolyn turned on the shower and helped Raisa undress. She helped her into the shower and as she was about to close the door Raisa reached for her. "You won't go?"
"No, I'll be right back," Carolyn said reassuringly.
Carolyn called Simon and explained that she would probably be very late. He assured her that all was fine to be as late as she needed to be.
Carolyn hung up the phone and smiled. Simon was full of surprises. Somehow she knew he had had something to do with the turn of events in her life.
~~~~~~~~~~
Raisa did not hear the shower door open. She only felt those same arms that had held her before come up from behind her and hold her now. She leaned back into them.
Carolyn washed her body lovingly and then washed her hair. She dried her and walked her to bed. Raisa allowed her to take care of her as she had always wanted to. But instead of giving Carolyn joy it only brought her sadness to see the broken heart that lay in front of her.
Carolyn removed Raisa's robe and helped her into bed. Raisa's held a hand out to her pleadingly. Carolyn removed her own robe and got into bed with her. Carolyn realized that this connection that Raisa was begging for was much more than sexual; she needed it to survive.
Carolyn took her into her arms and caressed her until she heard the sounds of her sleep. She continued to caress her even as she slept.
In the middle of the night Raisa sat up and screamed in fear.
Carolyn was there behind her reassuring her and pulling her back into the world.
Raisa turned in that embrace and looked into the face that had haunted her dreams for so many lonely years and her hand reached out to touch it.
Carolyn kissed her fingers before Raisa pulled them away. Carolyn's mouth then leaned forward and found the lips she sought. The kiss was soft and welcoming.
Carolyn pulled her closer and Raisa melted into her embrace. They made love slowly and in no rush. Their lovemaking was slow and tender; full of caresses and of giving more than taking, mixed with tears and smiles. Kisses filled with promises of surrender and of glorious union. Both women gave and took of one another. And somewhere during the night they found something that had been lost.
~~~~~~~~~~
Carolyn walked into her garden in the early hours of the morning. She had left Raisa in bed still asleep. She ran her fingers through her hair as a feeling of an old tiredness took hold of her heart. She could no longer deny her need for Raisa. She had run once before she would not run again. But somehow, it all seemed so much more urgent now. The only way to show someone you love them to yell it to the four winds and not care who knows it.
Carolyn turned around and went inside. She sat down on the couch patiently until the morning had finally arrived in all its glory.
Simon found her sitting there. He walked up to her cautiously. "Mom? You okay?"
"Come, sit with me." She patted the sofa next to her. "I do love her."
"I know."
"Amanda."
"She will be fine with it," Simon reassured her. "I think Raisa and Amanda will be good for one another too."
Carolyn looked at Simon once again in wonder. "I must have done something really good to get you," she said to her son as her hand caressed his face.
"You did Mom, you loved me, it was my turn to show you I love you too."
Carolyn let the tears run down her cheeks as she held her son to her.
"I knew you had some hand in this," she laughed between the tears.
"Not me Mom, she came back on her own." Simon assured her.
~~~~~~~~~~
Carolyn walked into the Copeco building with a firm stride. She walked passed all the secretaries and straight up to the 11th floor.