She felt the splendor explode inside her. There was only a second or two of fear before she gave in to the feeling and allowed it to consume her. She clung to her husband, knowing in her heart that he would keep her safe.
It took her long minutes to return to reality. Harrison held her close and stroked her. He whispered loving, nonsensical words against her ear that she thought were perfectly logical, for he was letting her know without any doubt how much he had missed her.
She fell asleep with her husband nibbling on her earlobe but was awakened an hour later by his caresses. They made love once again during the dark hours of the night, and then yet again as the sun was beginning its ritualistic climb into the sky.
Each time she gave herself willingly to him, and when she began to come apart in his arms, she was filled with a sense of wonder because she felt so completely safe with him.
She loved Harrison with all her heart. She would be an understanding wife and learn to forgive him for deceiving her. In time she would be able to trust him again.
She fell asleep praying that was true.
February 24, 1871
Dear Mama:
Today I found out all about how babies get made. Adam told me exactly what happens between a man and a lady. He said I shouldn't scrunch up my face and look so disgusted, but it's hard not to feel sick inside, Mama. It makes me want to puke when I think about a man trying to climb up on top of me.
Travis and Douglas think making babies is disgusting too. They didn't say so, but they couldn't look at me when they tried to explain how it happens. They both got red faces too. I don't think they will ever want to climb up on any ladies. I don't know what Cole thinks about it though. He got mad at me for asking him to explain and then he sent me to Adam.
Your son told me that mating between a man and a woman was beautiful. I think he was just teasing me. What do you think about making babies, Mama? You had Adam, so I know you had to have his papa on top of you once. Was it sickening?
Cole's putting the finishing touches on the ceiling of the library of our fine home. He's so particular about his cut work on the mouldings. He works almost every night, and I know he wishes he could work on the house during the days too, but he can't because Douglas needs his help breaking in the horses.
I had to give another swatch of my hair to the Indians again. They're very nice to me now and don't try to steal me away from Adam. They're still scared of him. Adam gives them food and tries to be polite, but I don't think he trusts them. He still hasn't forgotten what almost happened when those renegades tried to take me.
The Indians think I bring them good fortune. Isn't that silly, Mama?
Why don't you hate Livonia? Sometimes I think you should. I know she's afraid and she depends on you, but I was thinking, maybe if you're mean to her, she'll let you go.
I miss you sorely,
Mary Rose
Chapter 18
Mary Rose was nervous about meeting her father. She didn't understand her own reaction. She had nothing to fear from the man. He was a stranger to her, and she would be polite and kind and compassionate to him. Lord Elliott had suffered a terrible loss, she reminded herself once again, and, just as her brothers had suggested, it was her duty to try to comfort him.
Harrison had awakened her with the news that Elliott wanted them to move into his country home with him for an undetermined length of time.
She'd started in worrying then. She thought perhaps some of her fear was due to the fact that she knew absolutely nothing of consequence about him. Harrison had told her he was rich and he was intelligent. Neither defined in her mind what the man was really like, however. Wealth meant little to her, and while hearing that her father was intelligent pleased her, it was still all too vague for her liking. She didn't know anything about his values or his attitudes.
She plied Harrison with questions on their way to Elliott's estate.
"You explained that those who could afford to left the city during the summer months, but you didn't explain why," she began. "It's too hot in the city. Everything sort of shuts down until September."
She folded her hands in her lap. "I don't understand why we couldn't wait for Eleanor. Didn't you want her to accompany us today?"
"Sweetheart, she wouldn't get out of bed, remember? She'll follow us tomorrow, with Edward and the rest of the staff."
"How long does Lord Elliott expect us to stay with him?"
"For as long as you wish to stay."
He stretched out his long legs in front of him and tried to act relaxed. He knew his wife was nervous. She was wringing her hands together now, but he doubted she realized what she was doing.
She'd had difficulty deciding on a dress to wear too, and such behavior wasn't like her at all. She wasn't one to worry about her appearance, but she'd been concerned this morning, and he thought he understood why.
She didn't want to disappoint her father. "He's going to love you, sweetheart."
She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Will I like him?" she asked.
Harrison seemed surprised by her question. He suddenly leaned forward and took hold of her hands. "Yes, you'll like him. You're going to have to…"
She waited for him to continue, and when he didn't, she prodded him. "I'll have to what?"
He let out a sigh. "I was going to tell you to trust me, but that's a sore point with you, isn't it?"
She looked down at her hands. "I don't wish to talk about trust now. You broke my heart, Harrison."
"So you've said," he replied dryly.
She looked up at him so he could see her disgruntled expression. He shook his head at her.
"You really do hold a grudge, don't you? If you'd use that logical head of yours, you'd realize…"
"I'd realize you could have told me but you chose not to, that's what I'd realize," she whispered. She pulled her hands away from his. "I shouldn't have worn this blue dress. It makes me look pale."
"You look fine."
"I don't want to look fine."
" England is beautiful, isn't it?" he remarked, hoping to change the subject.
"Yes, it is," she agreed. "The countryside is lovely. It isn't home though."
"Give yourself time to adjust to the changes, Mary Rose."
"I miss my brothers."
"Did you miss me after I left?"
She wouldn't answer him. He leaned back again and turned to look out the window. It had been drizzling when they left the city, but the sun was out now, and it was turning into a glorious day.
"We'll be early," he said. "Your father doesn't expect us until around four this afternoon. We'll reach his estate before noon."
"Is it true everyone sleeps in and stays up half the night?"
Harrison nodded. "It's true. Are you tired today? I kept you up most of last night."
She immediately started to blush. "No, I'm not tired."
He grinned. "I am. Your body's forgiven me."
"You aren't making any sense, Harrison."
She looked flustered. He thought it was a telling reaction. "You can't help the way you respond to me, can you? Do you remember how you…"
"I was there," she blurted out. "You don't have to remind me of what happened between us. Please tell me how Lord Elliott reacted when he heard about me. I'm most curious."