She didn't share any of her childhood memories with her aunt, however, for that would have been breaking the unspoken rule never to talk about her past life.
Her aunt loved her. All her relatives did, especially her father. She tried to remember that important fact when the hollowness inside her welled up, and she didn't think she could stand it another minute.
Yes, they all loved her. And yet none of them knew her at all. Harrison wasn't making life easy for her. He was rarely home to comfort her or assure her that she was doing the right thing and that everything really would be all right. Lord, how she needed to talk things over with him. Her father had him popping from city to city like a flea from dog to dog. When he wasn't home to hold her in his arms during the nights, she held her locket in her hands. The link with her mama and her brothers comforted her as much as a security blanket comforts a baby.
It would have been easy for her to blame Harrison for her misery. It had been all his fault that her life had been turned upside down, hadn't it? He'd come to Montana and found her, damn it.
But she'd also found him. She couldn't imagine life without Harrison, and, oh, how she missed the man she'd fallen in love with. Her husband was under quite a strain too. She could see it in his eyes and in the way he looked at her. A good wife would have been more understanding, she told herself over and over again. Harrison had asked her to be patient, to give herself time to get to know her relatives, and he always gave her the same reason why. He needed to finish it. He wouldn't explain further. There never seemed to be enough time.
She received a letter from her mama on Monday, and Travis's note arrived the following day. Her brothers, he told her, were getting ready for the spring roundup because the snow had melted early this year and the passes were almost completely bare. He added the postscript that Corrie was doing all right, at least he thought she was. The basket of supplies he left in the clearing was always empty and waiting for him when he returned. The woman still wouldn't let him get close to the cabin though, and he felt like an idiot having to read Mary Rose's letters to Corrie in a shout.
While her brothers were getting ready for the annual roundup, her relatives were preparing to move to her father's country house for the rest of spring and all of the summer months. Aunt Lillian and her prodigy, Eleanor, had also been invited to join them. Mary Rose didn't have any idea if and when Harrison would be able to join her.
She became more and more frightened of what was happening to her. She kept remembering what Harrison had said to her when they spent the night in the cave near Corrie's home. They'd been talking about honor and integrity at the time, and she recalled his exact words. If you begin to give away parts of yourself, eventually you'll give it all. And once you've lost yourself, haven't you lost everything?
The words haunted her.
It wasn't possible for her to keep up her pretence forever. Two incidents sent her world careening.
The first happened quite by accident. She was pacing back and forth in the entryway, waiting for the mail to be delivered, when Eleanor came hurrying down the stairs.
"I have wonderful news, Victoria," she cried out. "Lady Lillian wants me to become her assistant. She likes me, really likes me, and thinks my organizational skills are just what she needs. She leads such a busy life. She's needed someone to help her for a long time. Do you know what else she told me? She's going to help me find a husband. She will too. Your Aunt Lillian can do anything she sets her mind to. She told me I was like a daughter to her. Yes, she did. Isn't it all wonderful?"
Mary Rose wasn't surprised by the news. She wanted to be happy for her friend. Eleanor had had a difficult past. She'd never known her own mother, and Aunt Lillian hadn't had any children. They were two lonely people who could help each other.
"It is joyful news, indeed," she told her friend. "Does this mean you'll never want to go back to… America?" She'd almost asked her if she had made up her mind not to go back to Montana, but quickly changed her mind.
"There isn't anything in America for me, Victoria."
"What about Cole? Didn't you care about him?"
Eleanor took hold of Mary Rose's hand and smiled at her. "I'll never forget him. How could I? He gave me my very first kiss. He won't ever marry me though, and I'm grateful I found out he wasn't the marrying kind before I gave my heart to him. Besides, we really don't have anything in common. I'm much better suited to life here, Victoria. So are you," she added with a nod.
Mary Rose ignored her last comment. "I'll miss you."
Eleanor frowned. "Miss me? You aren't going anywhere, and we're always going to remain fast friends. Do you know I'm accepted by your friends because of who you are? You're Lady Victoria, for heaven's sake. Why, just look at yourself in the mirror. You have become your father's daughter all right. No one could ever know you didn't grow up here. I'm so proud of you. Your aunt's proud of you too. She loves you with all her heart. Honestly, she does. I must run now. There's so much to do today in preparation for our move."
Mary Rose watched her friend hurry back up the stairs. Edward walked into the entryway then. She was thankful the younger butler was in attendance today and not her father's other "man" as he was called. Russell, the senior staff member, had been in Elliott's employ much longer, and she knew it wouldn't be as easy to get information out of him.
"Edward, may I have a word with you? In confidence," she added so he would know she wouldn't tell anyone about the conversation. "I need to know something. Has my Aunt Lillian been intercepting my letters from home?"
Edward's complexion visibly paled. "No, Lady Victoria, she hasn't."
She was going to have to accept what he said as fact, she supposed. She nodded, then turned to go up the stairs. She stopped suddenly when Edward blurted out, "They only have your best interests at heart, mi'lady, especially Lord Elliott."
She slowly turned around. "My father's been taking my letters, hasn't he?"
He didn't answer her but turned his gaze to the floor. She thought his silence damning. "I thought it was my aunt," she whispered. Her voice sounded bewildered. "I don't know why, but I never considered my father would do… How long has it been going on?"
"From the beginning," he answered in a low voice.
"And the letters I wrote to my brothers and left on the hall table to be posted? Did he intercept those too?"
Edward looked into the drawing room to make certain they weren't being overheard, then answered her. "Yes, but you had already figured everything out, hadn't you? I'm not being disloyal by confirming your suspicions, am I?"
"No, you aren't being disloyal."
"Your father was only following the physician's advice, mi'lady. He was very happy to notice you'd stopped writing to those men. I heard him tell his brother-in-law that the advice had been sound. You were letting your past go."
"The physicians advised him?"
"I believe so, Lady Victoria."
The staff apparently knew more about the workings of the family than she did. She would have to remember to ask Edward her questions in future. She would get the truth from him.
She was too disheartened to continue the conversation. She thanked him once again and then went up to her bedroom.
Her father believed she'd left her past behind her-and her brothers, she thought to herself. Mary Rose hadn't forgotten, of course, and she hadn't quit writing. She'd known someone was intercepting her mail after she'd read Adam's letter asking her why she hadn't written. Thank God for Ann Marie. The sweet lady's maid was quietly making sure her letters were posted.