And then she would find a way around whatever obstacle was holding him back.
She put on her slippers and her robe and went downstairs to the library. Adam was inside, rereading one of his favorite books.
Her brother was sitting in a worn, brown leather easy chair. A fire crackled in the hearth, warming the room.
"Adam, may I interrupt you?"
Her brother looked up and smiled. "Of course," he agreed. He closed the book he'd been reading and put it on the table next to his chair.
There was another identical brown leather chair flanking the other side of the fireplace, but she walked past it and sat down on the footrest next to Adam's feet.
"I wanted to talk to you about Harrison."
"Is something wrong?"
"No," she assured him. "Nothing is wrong. I like him… very much. I think he likes me too. He seems to, anyway."
"Then what's the problem?"
She looked down at her lap. "I asked him to kiss me last week. He finally got around to agreeing tonight."
She looked up at her brother to see how he was taking her confession. Adam didn't show any reaction. He took his spectacles off, carefully folded them, and put them on top of the book.
"He kissed you."
"Yes," she replied.
"And then what happened?"
"He told me he wasn't ever going to kiss me again."
"I see." A slow smile eased his expression. "Did he tell you why?"
"Yes, he did," she answered. "But his explanation didn't make any sense at all. I know he enjoyed kissing me. He looked like he did, and he felt like he did, but he only kissed me once, and now that I've had time to think about it, maybe he didn't like it as much as I did."
"You said you liked kissing him. I think we need to talk about that."
"I did like kissing him, very much. I like him, Adam. He told me we couldn't become involved, but he wouldn't give me any reason why we couldn't. Maybe he's trying to protect me from heartache," she continued. "Perhaps he knows he's going back to Scotland, and he doesn't want to begin a relationship only to leave. He might also be like Cole."
"How exactly is your brother?"
"Cole doesn't want to be trapped by any woman. He's always telling me he'll never get married. Do you think Harrison feels the same way?"
"I don't know him well enough to answer your question, but I do know Cole. He's all talk, sister. He just needs time to meet the right woman. Then his attitude will change."
"Why do men think of marriage as a trap? Women aren't taking away their freedom, for heaven's sake."
"In some ways they are," Adam replied. "Once married, always married. If a man has made the wrong choice, he's trapped, isn't he?"
"I suppose, but the woman is also trapped."
Adam's mind began to wander. He was thinking about Harrison now. He realized he needed to find out more about their guest. If Mary Rose was becoming involved, it was Adam's duty to make certain Harrison didn't hurt her.
"Adam?"
"Yes?"
"What were you thinking about just now?"
" Harrison," he answered. "I realized we don't know all that much about him. I believe you should give yourself some time to get to know him better before you ask him to kiss you again."
She agreed with a nod. "I'll try."
"Cole told me I needed to have a talk with you about men and women and…"
"Intimacy." She supplied the last word before he could.
"Yes, intimacy."
"We already had our talk years ago."
"I remember, and I thought you remembered too, but your brother said you asked him to tell you all about the facts of life again. He doesn't think you understood. Didn't you?"
"Yes, you made it all perfectly clear."
"I thought I had. You certainly asked a lot of questions."
"And you patiently answered every one of them. You're the only brother who made any sense. Travis started out giving me all sorts of parallels about trees and bees, and then he jumped into a couple of parables from the Bible. When he recited the one about the loaves of bread multiplying, I was completely lost. He told me I was like a loaf of bread and that one day I would also multiply. I asked him how. He threw up his hands and sent me to Douglas."
"And what did Douglas tell you?" Adam had heard all of this before, but he enjoyed the retelling just as much.
"He told me to use my head. He was extremely gruff. The topic made him terribly uncomfortable. He wouldn't even look at me. He reminded me that I lived on a ranch, kept adding, 'for God's sake,' and suggested I look around me. Then I'd be able to figure it all out. I told him I had been looking around for all of my eleven years and I still hadn't figured anything out. In desperation, he pointed to the horses and told me that when I was all grown up, I'd be just like a filly and a man would come to me just like a stallion."
Adam laughed until tears came into his eyes. "Now tell me again how you reacted to his comparison."
"I was highly insulted, of course, and disgusted. That's when he sent me to you."
He dabbed at the corners of his eyes with the backs of his hands and finally calmed down. "If you remembered our talk, why did you ask Cole to explain?"
"I couldn't stop myself," she admitted. "His reaction is so amusing. He blushes, Adam, really blushes. He gets all flustered too, and that's very unusual for him. I'll probably ask him again and again, until he finally catches on."
Adam laughed again. "Go right ahead. I'm dying to know what comparison he'll eventually come up with. It's bound to be a dandy."
He let out a sigh, then turned to a more serious issue. "And now think we had better talk about how you felt when you were kissing Harrison."
And so they did. Mary Rose didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable or embarrassed because she was with Adam. He always put her at ease. There wasn't any subject she couldn't discuss with him. She could say whatever was on her mind and not worry he would be appalled or disappointed. The bond between brother and sister was as strong as iron, and her trust in his judgment was absolute.
He was concerned she might have been frightened by her physical reaction to Harrison. Passion was sometimes misinterpreted, and often, what one didn't understand, one feared. He didn't want his little sister to be afraid of anything or anyone. She should embrace life, not hide from it, the way he'd had to all these many years.
"A man can want to bed a woman without loving her. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand. A woman can behave in the same manner, can't she?"
"Yes, she can."
"You want me to realize that wanting and loving don't always go hand in hand."
"Yes."
"Don't worry about me. You're worried because I'm innocent, but remember, being innocent doesn't mean I'll be foolish."
"Exactly right."
They talked for a few more minutes, until she became too sleepy to stay up any longer. She kissed her brother good night.
"I wish Mama were here. I miss her."
"Someday soon she'll be joining us," Adam promised. "Her nightmare can't continue much longer. Mistress Livonia may have a change of heart and let her leave. I doubt Mama would want to go anywhere until after Livonia dies. She's totally dependent on Mama now."
"I cannot imagine what it would be like to be blind. I don't believe I would turn mean, though, the way Livonia did."
"She needs your mama more than you do, Mary Rose… for now, anyway."
"Are her sons so very cruel that they would really turn their backs on their mother?"
"You know the answer to that," he said. "They'll do anything to get her money. Rose and Livonia have their own cottage behind the property the sons already sold off. They're getting along all right now. As long as Livonia 's sons leave them alone, no harm will come to either one of them."