I was burned from the inside out; there was no soul left in me. I was a heartless man, the definition of bitter and foolish. To think a woman would be able to look past my faults, my demanding exterior, and see me for the man I want to be was an irrational thought.
The bitter taste of my bourbon did nothing to soothe the ache that took up place in my chest, nor did it help me forget. How could I forget? How could I forget the sassy mouthed, honey-haired girl who captured my heart?
It was impossible.
A small knock came at my door, and without turning around, I beckoned whoever was on the other side to come in. My thoughts were lost in the darkness of the streets as little footsteps padded across my floor and the click of my door shutting echoed through the room.
I didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. I should have known she would have come to me after she left the police department.
“Jett…” she practically whispered.
Involuntarily, my eyes shut from the sweetness of her voice. I missed her so God damn much, I didn’t have the strength to face her. It would be too painful.
“Jett, please turn around.”
With shaky legs and an unsteady heart, I turned my chair and came face to face with my Little One.
Her face was covered in smeared make up, her costume—which was hideous—was crumpled and dirty, and there was a small red patch on her face, probably where she was pressed against the ground. Even though her hair was in disarray and her bravado was lacking, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to steady my voice.
“I-I thought you would want to see me,” she said with a shaky voice, her hands twisting in front of her.
“And why would you think that?”
I could tell with every angry word coming out of my mouth that I was hurting her, but I had to protect my fragile heart.
“Because I told you I would be back.”
“You’re back because you got caught, not by choice.”
“That’s not true, Jett. I was going to be back here tomorrow, actually. Right before the police showed up, I was going to steal Rex’s phone and gather evidence. I had it all planned out.”
“Did you?”
“I did,” she said, puffing her chest out.
“And what were you going to do with the ‘evidence’,” I said while using air quotes.
“I was going to give it to you, so you could show someone, and finally win Lot 17. I was trying to help, Jett.”
“I didn’t need your help, Goldie. I had everything under control.”
I could see the moment her attitude switched from scared to pissed. It was almost comical.
“You had everything under control? So, hiding me away, keeping me in the dark and fraternizing with a kiwi is having it under control? Well, shit, I would hate to see what it’s like when you’re completely out of your mind. It would be rather entertaining.” She crossed her arms and looked down at me.
“I knew what I was doing,” I said strictly.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, she asked, “Does it really matter? It’s all over now, can’t we just move on? I told you I would be back, and here I am.”
“Do you really think it’s that easy?” I asked, while standing. “Do you really think you can walk back in here as if nothing happened? You stole the one and only thing I asked for you to give me. You stole my control. You took that away from me. You didn’t trust the fact that I could take care of you.”
“I did too!” Goldie shouted. “I just was sick of hiding under a rock, living my life in a shadow. I wanted to live my life with you, Jett. I wanted to help protect you; I wanted to help.”
“I didn’t need your help,” I gritted out.
Throwing her hands up in the air, she said, “God, you’re infuriating. You can’t control the world, Jett. Sometimes you have to put your trust in others.”
“When I put trust in others, they end up hurting me. You can’t trust anyone in today’s society, not even the people you think would never hurt you.”
Goldie sucked in her breath at my statement. “Are you saying you don’t trust me?”
Losing my temper, I punched my desk and shouted, “You left me! You grabbed my heart from my chest and left me. You left me to go to the one person who could make or break me.”
“To save you!” Goldie shouted back. “I did it for us.”
“You wanted to save me, Goldie? You wanted to protect me? Then you should have fucking stayed; you should have protected my heart, which I’d handed to you. You took advantage of it, though, and gave me back my collar.”
Tears welled up in Goldie’s eyes as she ran her hands through her hair in frustration. “I did that to help you, to help us, Jett. I want to live my life with you. How come you can’t understand that?”
“Then you should have stayed,” I stated, while turning my back on her and gripping onto the edges of the window.
“What happened to having faith?” she whispered, throwing my words back at me. “What happened to having faith in the power we have, Jett? Did you just forget that?”
Gritting my teeth, I swung around, pulled out my phone from my pocket and opened up the picture Rex had sent me. I tossed the phone on my desk for her viewing, and said, “My faith went out the window the minute I realized you lied to my face. Not interested in him, Goldie? Then fucking explain that picture.”
I watched as she pulled the phone toward her eyes with shaky hands for better viewing. Her eyes widened as she studied the picture. She shook her head and then put the phone on my desk.
“Do you really think that’s me?”
“Are you going to deny it is? Don’t bullshit me, Goldie.”
Nodding her head and pressing her lips together, she started to back away from me, making her way toward the door.
“Are you going to deny it?” I repeated, needing to hear her answer.
“I don’t need to answer that question. You, out of everyone, should know better, Jett.”
“So, you’re going to deny the fact that is you in the picture…that Rex is fucking you from behind?”
Anger billowed up in her face as her hands clenched at her sides. She charged toward my desk and opened my pone back up, shoving the picture in my face.
“Look at it,” she yelled. “Look at the picture. Tell me what you see.”
“Don’t belittle me,” I said, looking away.
“Belittle you? Seriously? You’re the one who thinks that I have zero loyalty where you’re concerned when all I’ve been is loyal to you ever since I walked into this house. You’ve been the only man I’ve thought of, that I’ve wanted to be with, even before I officially met you. You owned me the minute you ordered your drink at Kitten’s Castle, so how dare you fucking say I have no loyalty to you? You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to be a part of my life.”
She took a breath and flashed me the picture again. “This, Jett, is Mercy, one of the girls at Masquerade.”
The stubborn me came out and said, “And how can I believe you?”
“Well, I would like to say you trust me, that you kept your faith in me while I was gone, but, apparently, that’s not enough. Look closely, Jett, is there a heart-shaped birth mark above this girl’s tailbone?”
Flashes of Goldie’s unique birthmark ran through my head as I studied the picture. All the color from my face drained as realization dawned on me.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said, while she tossed the phone on my desk. “You know what really hurts, Jett? Is that you didn’t even give me a chance to prove to you how much I care for you, how much I love you. Yeah, love, that’s right, I used the scary L word. Oh no, commitment and opening up are coming at you,” she said, while making scary fingers at me. “I sat by and waited for you to open up, to realize that, in fact, I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you. I waited while you tried to figure out this Lot 17 bullshit, and I waited as you took the kiwi out to events, events I should have been attending. I even stood by, trusted you, when there were compromising pictures in the tabloids of you two. I stood by your side and had faith in what you were doing for us, what you were trying to give us, but the minute I try to do the same, reciprocate the affection, you turn away from me, you drop me like a bad fucking habit and leave me to fend for myself.”