I started to laugh, “So, you did manage to get him to ask you out?” I put her on speaker so Connor could hear.
“No, I asked him out, and we went to dinner, then to a club and back to his place. Elle, he was phenomenal. He fucks like no one ever has before.” Connor looked at me and started laughing.
“Wow Peyton, that’s great,” I rolled my eyes.
“Seriously Elle, he made me do things I never thought of doing before and shit is he big. I was worried when I saw it that it wouldn’t fit inside me. Elle, I got nervous that I wasn’t going to be able to experience this hot man.”
Connors mouth dropped as he was in shock by Peyton’s openness. I was used to it, so it didn’t faze me.
“Peyton, sweetie, I have you on speaker and Connor heard every word you just said.”
“So, I have nothing to hide, maybe you two should try it. Live a little Connor, take that girl to bed and show her your sexiness.” I wanted to die right there, in the leather seat of Connors range rover.
He unexpectedly shouted, “I already did and she was amazing, she made me do things to her that even shocked me.” I hit him on the arm and shot him a look.
“Woo, you go girl, we’ll swap notes when you get back. I have to go, Dr. Hottie is summoning me back to bed,” she giggled.
I hung up and shook my head at him, “How could you tell her that?”
“Oh please love, like you haven’t embarrassed me before.”
I couldn’t argue with that, especially with the bartender at the restaurant and then the bellhop. I laughed and looked out the window at the all too familiar place I was heading.
We pulled into the funeral home and instantly, my stomach felt sick. I got out of the car and took a deep breath.
“This is the same funeral home we had for my mother and father,” I said as I stood in front of it.
Connor put his arm around me. “You don’t have to do this; you can call your cousin and tell her you got sick or something.”
“No, that’s the coward’s way out. I can’t escape reality. Besides, I have you with me.”
We walked through the doors. My cousin Debbie saw me and swiftly walked towards me as we hugged each other tight.
“I’m so sorry for your loss Debbie.”
She started to cry on my shoulder. “I know and I’m sorry for you to; I know they were like your surrogate parents growing up.
What happened?” She asked as she pointed to my stitches.
“It’s no big deal; I just fell and hit my head.”
I looked over at Connor, “Debbie this is my friend Connor.”
She shook his hand and then whispered to me, “I heard you and Kyle broke up, I’m sorry.”
I smiled, “I’m not, but thank you anyway.”
She led us to the room where my aunt and uncle laid in their beautiful wooden caskets. I walked over and kneeled down in front of them, praying to god to keep them safe. Connor stood behind me with his hands clutching my shoulders. I stood up and made my way through the crowd, saying hi to old friends and making small conversation with distant family. I could hear the whispers of people talking about my attempted suicide seven years ago. I could hear the pity in their voices. The whispers went on about my dad; how he was an alcoholic and couldn’t stop drinking enough to raise his only daughter. They went on to say that if my mother was alive I would not have tried to take my life. I had become the center of attention at someone’s funeral, and I was starting to get pissed. Connor overheard the soft talks as he put his arm around me.
“Don’t listen to them; they don’t know what they’re talking about.”
I took in a deep breath, but couldn’t control myself any longer when I heard a woman say, “She’s the one who tried to commit suicide to save herself from her alcoholic father. He was too wrapped up in the death of her mother to even realize she existed. She should have been taken away from him and then she wouldn’t have tried to…”
Before she could finish her sentence, I rudely interrupted her, “Who the fuck do you think you are talking about my father and family like that?”
I pushed my wrists in her face, “Here, see the scars. That’s right, take a good look at them, it wouldn’t have mattered if they took me away or not, they would still be there.”
The whole room was standing in silence staring at me. Connor grabbed my hand, “Come on baby let’s go. It’s not worth it.” I turned as he led me out of the funeral home. The cold air cooled my burning skin.
“I must say, you can put on quite a show,” Connor smiled to lighten my mood.
“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t take anymore; I knew this was going to happen if I came back here.”
He held me and whispered, “Its ok, you’ve said your goodbyes to your aunt and uncle, you told off a few people, and now we can go; unless you want to stay?”
I shook my head, “No, let’s get out of here.”
Chapter 22
We hopped back into the Range Rover as Connor searched for hotels on his GPS. “If you’re looking for luxury then I suggest the Athenuem Suite Hotel.”
He looked over at me and smiled, “Funny; that’s what my phone is telling me. I can reserve the Presidential Suite right here online.” He did just that and then took my hand. “Where do you want to go?”
I brought his hand to my lips and gently kissed it. “I need to go visit my mom and dad’s grave; it’s not too far.”
He punched the address in his GPS as we headed toward the cemetery. I asked if we could make a quick stop at the flower shop so I could pick up some flowers.
We arrived at the cemetery. I directed Connor where to park to make it easier to get to their graves. We got out of the car. I took his hand and led him to where my parents were buried. The air was brisk for the end of September. I remembered warmer days this time of year. We walked to the graves for my mother and father that sat side by side.
“My father made sure to buy the plot next to where my mother was buried because that way they could be together forever. He loved my mother very much and he considered her his soul mate; that’s why when she died, a part of him died with her.”
Connor knelt beside me and kissed me on the head, “That’s beautiful.” I put the flowers on my mother’s grave first and then my fathers. Connor got up, “I’m going to give you some privacy,” he said as he walked a few feet away.
I sat down on the grass and placed the flowers on each grave. “Hi mom, hi dad, I cannot believe it’s been over a year since I’ve visited you last. A lot has changed in the past year. I moved to New York and started selling my paintings in a small art gallery. I met an incredible guy there; in fact he’s here with me now. I know you’d like him daddy. He’s sweet, charming, kind, really sexy, and I believe he would do anything for me.”
I leaned in closer to their graves and whispered; I love him mom and dad, for the first time in my life I’m truly in love. We’re leaving Michigan tomorrow, so I wanted to stop by and say hi and let you know I’m doing well.” Tears swelled in my eyes. Connor walked over and put his hands on my shoulders. “I love both of you very much, and I miss you.” He helped me up as I took in a deep breath and composed myself.
Connor took me in his arms and held me. “You’re far too young to have experienced so much death Ellery; it hurts me to know what you’ve been through.”
My chest started to tighten, and panic started to settle in. I needed to tell him my secret, but I was too scared about how he was going to react. I couldn’t lose him, not now, I loved him too much.
He stood with me and stared at my parent’s grave. “I can’t even imagine losing my parents, especially at such a young age. You amaze me Ellery with your strength because I don’t know if I could have made it through.”