I shook my head. I was curious as to how much she knew about me and our situation, so I asked an obvious question.
“What else did Mr. Black tell you?”
She smiled as she put the bread in the toaster, “He only tells me what I need to know. Mr. Black is a very private person. He says you’re a friend and he wanted to help you. He’s a very generous man.”
I rolled my eyes. If the chemo doesn’t kill me, then staying here with the man whose life I pretty much ruined will.
“Ah I see you two met,” Connor said as he lightly stepped into the kitchen.
“I thought you left,” I said with a - I don’t like you very much right now - attitude.
“I had to finish up some computer work here first, don’t worry I’ll be leaving soon.”
Claire eyed me and then looked at Connor as he sat over at the table.
“Here honey, try to eat something, you’ll feel better if you do.”
I saw Connor look over at me out of the corner of my eye. I picked up the fork and started to eat some eggs. The food was starting to help a bit, or maybe it was the tea, who knows.
Connor finished his coffee and walked over to me, “I’m leaving now so if you need anything Claire will be here all day.” I didn’t look at him as I waved my hand.
“I can tell this is going to be more difficult than I thought,” he mumbled as he left the kitchen.
I didn’t know if he meant for me to hear it or not, but I did and it pissed me off.
Claire studied me for a moment, “Calm down honey it’s not worth getting upset over.”
I decided that if I was going to stay here, Claire had a right to know what happened between me and Connor. I told her everything.
She sat down next me holding her coffee cup, “I figured something was going on between the two of you. You must have been the reason why Mr. Black was always in a good mood and smiling all the time not that long ago.”
She saw the look on my face and took my hand; she pushed back my sleeve and looked at my wrist and then took my other hand and did the same, “Does he know about this?”
I shook my head, “No, but he will soon enough, it’s not something I can keep hidden for long.” Claire smiled and patted my hand.
I grabbed my coat and stepped outside. The air was a little warmer than it had been. The sun was shining bright, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky; it was a perfect October day. I needed to get lost in myself so I decided to take a walk to Central Park. I needed to be alone, and what better place than to think about how much my life sucked at the moment is in the park. I made my way to the Conservatory Garden and found a spot in the middle of the grass. I laid the blanket on the soft grass and sat down with my knees to my chest. My phone started to ring; it was Connor. Someone must have tipped him off that I escaped. I hit ignore. I figured he would go to my apartment first, then probably the art gallery or soup kitchen. He’ll eventually figure out where I am so I wasn’t worried, and I honestly didn’t care. I inhaled through my nose, taking in the mild October air. I studied the flowers that were around me for soon they would be gone.
I laid down on my back and stared up at the sky. I had a little talk with god and asked him to give me the strength to endure this process all over again. Connor kept calling me, so I turned my phone off. I asked god for a sign to let me know he would help me through this as I felt a tiny drop of rain fall on my cheek. That was good enough for me until a few clouds rolled in and it started to pour; so much for my perfect October day. I laid there staring up at the sky that was falling down upon me. I wanted so badly for the rain to wash away my illness and my fears. I continued to lay there in my delusional state until I heard a familiar voice call my name.
“Ellery, what the fuck do you think you’re doing, are you crazy?” I looked at him as he was walking towards me holding an umbrella.
“Are you, for coming out here after me?”
I saw his jaw tighten as he approached me, “Look at you, you’re soaked; get up now before you get sick.”
I laughed, “I’m already sick, what’s the difference?”
He stared down at me with a strange look on his face and did something I never thought Connor Black would do. He laid down beside me and looked up at the sky. I looked over at him as he struggled to keep his eyes open as the rain pelted him in the face; a small smile crossed my lips.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked as he turned and looked at me.
“Cause I can lay here and no one will know I’m crying.”
He looked at me for a moment and then back up at the falling rain. We laid there and didn’t speak a word. Connor put his hand on top of mine, and that was all the words we needed. Both of us were soaked, and I was starting to get cold. I sat up on my elbows.
“I think it’s time to go.”
He looked over at me and smiled, “Good because I can’t stand being wet like this.”
I lightly laughed as we both got up and started walking out of the park. I suddenly stopped and turned the other way to some nearby bushes. I bent down as the nausea set in and I began to vomit. Connor waited for me to finish as he put his arms under my legs, picked me up and carried me to the car. That was all I needed to feel safe again.
He carried me up to the penthouse and to the bedroom. He started to help me undress as I stopped him.
“I’m fine; you need to get out of those wet clothes. Please go change; I’m going to take a hot bath.”
“Do you feel well enough to take a bath by yourself?”
I shot him a look, “If I said no does that mean you’ll get in with me?”
He looked down, “Ellery.”
I saw the look on his face, and it was one of pain, almost the same look as the day in the hotel room.
“I was kidding Connor, now get out of here and go change.”
He walked out and left me standing there feeling like an idiot. I didn’t make it to the bathtub. I put on my nightshirt and robe and collapsed on top of the bed.
Chapter 28
I woke up 4 hours later and couldn’t move. The part I feared the most hit me; the pain. I started to whimper when I wanted to scream because I didn’t want anyone to hear me. My body felt like it’d been hacked into a million pieces, starting from the top of my head down to my toes. There wasn’t a single bone, joint, or muscle that didn’t hurt. I tried to get comfortable, but I couldn’t. I slowly got off the bed and wanted to scream when my feet touched the floor. I stood up and made my way to the door; I stepped out into the hallway and dropped to my knees and then onto my side.
I started to cry, more a soft whimper like a puppy. Connor must have been in his office, which was the room next to the staircase because I could hear him on the phone. I tried to crawl to the bathroom, but the pain was too great. It wasn’t too long when I saw Connor running up the stairs, skipping a step in between.
“Ellery, my god, what’s wrong?”
At that point, I was shaking uncontrollably. I put my hand up. “Don’t touch me, it hurts,” I cried.
He yelled for Claire and told her to call the nurse immediately and get her over to the penthouse. He sat down beside me and touched my hair.
“I need to get back in bed, just pick me up and get it over with,” I begged. He stood and picked me up off the ground. He flinched as I screamed. He carefully carried me into the bedroom and laid me on the bed.
“The nurse will be here soon; she’ll help you,” he said as he gently brushed the hair away from my face.
I looked at him and cried, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for this, I never wanted you to see me like this.”
He knelt down beside the bed and lightly touched my hand. “You have nothing to be sorry for; I’m the one who is sorry. It kills me to see you in such pain,” he said as a single tear fell down his cheek.