I snuggled closer to him as we danced to Ed Sheeran’s version of “Kiss Me” being performed by our live band. Dean had offered to get a “real band” but I hadn’t wanted that. I didn’t want our wedding to be more than a small intimate gathering. I didn’t want to make it a concert for the attending band. Rush had agreed with me and we’d found the best cover band that money could buy.
“I wish we didn’t have a house full of people tonight,” I said against his chest.
“Doesn’t matter. We won’t be there,” Rush replied.
I pulled back and looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
He smirked. “You really think I’m going to share a house with all those people on my wedding night? Hell no. We have the penthouse condo at the club waiting on us when we leave here.”
I was glad he’d thought of that. I didn’t want to think about his dad and my dad in the same house as us tonight. “Good,” I replied.
His chest vibrated from his laughter. I looked out over the other guests. All of our friends were here. Everyone we loved. Except his sister... and his mother. But they wouldn’t have approved. Both of them hated me. Still, I felt bad that they had missed this day for Rush’s sake. I just hoped one day that they would be a part of our lives for Rush. I knew even though he didn’t mention them that he missed them.
“Where did you put that satin?” he asked.
I grinned and bite down on my bottom lip. “I didn’t have pockets,” I replied.
“I know. So where is it?”
“Tucked in my bra,” I admitted.
“Guess it’ll have a new meaning for me from now on,” he said, teasing the bottom of my breasts with his thumbs.
“Thank you for everything. The necklace, the anklet, the ring, and I’ll let you keep the satin. Although I loved having it there with us. Knowing she had touched both our lives. It was perfect.”
Rush tightened his arms around me. “Yeah, it was.” The moment his body went tense I felt it. Gazing up at him I saw his eyes focused on something over my shoulder. I glanced back to see Cain standing there watching us. “I should probably let him dance with you. I’m trying to talk myself into it,” Rush said, still holding me tightly.
I smiled at him and his torn expression. “If you don’t want me to dance with Cain then I don’t want to. I do need to go speak to him and if you want to go with me and hold onto me when I do that then you can. Relax. I’m Blaire Finlay now. The girl he loved was Blaire Wynn.”
At the use of my new name his entire body relaxed and he held me tighter. “Say that again. At least the part where you say your name,” he said in a husky voice.
“Blaire Finlay,” I repeated.
“Damn, that sounds good,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Go talk to him. But if you don’t mind... no dancing. I don’t want his hands on you.”
“So no hugging either?” I asked before walking over to Cain.
Rush frowned then shook his head. “Not if he wants to keep his arms attached to his body,” he replied, causing me to laugh. My possessive man.
I walked over to Cain who stood there waiting on me with his hands stuffed in his pockets and a pained look on his face. This couldn’t be easy for him. In his mind we had been forever. He hadn’t really thought that Rush would be there for me in the end. He’d been wrong.
“I’m glad you came,” I told him as I stopped a few feet away from him keeping enough distance to make Rush comfortable.
“Not gonna lie. I didn’t want to. Granny Q made me,” he replied. “But you look beautiful. So breathtaking it hurts to look at you.”
“Thank you. I didn’t know Rush had sent y’all the tickets and invitations until Granny Q walked into my dressing room today.”
Cain nodded. “Yeah, I guessed as much. Since it was Rush inviting us and not you. Granny Q was determined we were coming once she got it.”
“I’m happy, Cain.”
He gave me a sad smile and nodded. “I can see that. It’s hard to miss. He’s pretty damn whooped himself.”
There wasn’t much else to say. Our time was in the past. He’d been my best friend once but now Rush was my everything.
“Take care,” I said, knowing I needed to get back to Rush before he decided we’d talked too long.
“You too, Blaire. Send pictures of the baby. Granny Q will want to see them,” he replied.
I turned and headed back to Rush who was standing on the edge of the dance floor with his eyes locked on me.
RUSH
Normally I spent Christmas drunk in a ski resort with whatever girl I was dating at the time and some friends. It was my go to place for the holidays. Growing up my mother didn’t decorate a tree or bake cookies. I had only seen those kinds of things on television.
The smell of pine trees, apple cinnamon, and cookies filled our house. The biggest ass Christmas tree I could find in Rosemary filled our living room and was decorated with bright colorful decorations and twinkling lights. We had live garlands and berries on our mantel and three stockings monogrammed with the letter F hung by the fireplace. Two big wreaths with red velvet bows decorated our front doors and the house was filled with Christmas carols as they played through the sound system. Blaire had found a Christmas station on the satellite radio and she threatened me if I touched it.
Gifts with colorful paper and sparkly bows were piled up under our tree and I couldn’t get rid of my friends. They were always here. Eating the sweets that Blaire kept making and drinking the apple cider that she never let get low. It was like Santa Claus had thrown up in our house. A year ago this would have sounded like hell to me. Now, I couldn’t imagine ever doing Christmas any other way. This was Christmas done Blaire’s way and I liked it. No, I fucking loved it. She sang along off-key to the Christmas carols as she pulled cookies out of the oven and rolled those peanut butter balls in powdered sugar while I waited for her to put one in my mouth.
This was going to be what my kids grew up believing Christmas was all about and I loved it. Cuddling on the sofa watching Christmas movies and drinking hot cocoa while I laid my hand on Blaire’s stomach and enjoyed feeling my boy kick. This was something money couldn’t buy. Not this kind of happiness.
“Do you think we’ll see your dad before Christmas?” Blaire asked, walking into the living room where I stood enjoying the tree while listening to Blaire sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”
“Doubt it. He just left last week,” I reminded her. She frowned then nodded. “Okay. I guess we need to mail his present then. I have Harlow something that I need to mail too. I was hoping you’d help me think of something for your mother and Nan. I don’t know what to buy them. I’ve never spent time with them.”
My mother and Nan? She’d bought my dad a present? And Harlow? Damn. All I’d done was buy things for her and the baby. I hadn’t thought to buy anyone else something.
“Uh, yeah, um, I guess. But they won’t be expecting anything. We don’t really exchange gifts. It’s not really a holiday we celebrate as a family.”
Blaire’s face fell and she looked at me with sad eyes. I didn’t like seeing her sad. I liked the off-key happy singing she had been doing just minutes before. “But it’s Christmas. You buy the people you love things on Christmas. Doesn’t have to be much. Just something. It’s fun to give things.”
If she wanted to give my evil mother something and my sister then I’d fucking go buy them whatever the hell she wanted me to and ship it off with a smile. “Okay, baby. I’ll find them something and we can ship it off with the other things.”