Back at his sleek Porsche, he opened her door. Gia paused before climbing in, curling her hand around his shoulder and stepping on her tiptoes to kiss him. “That was fun. Thank you for a wonderful day.”
His face softened. “You’re welcome. I wanted to hear about this part of your life. Thank you for sharing it.”
Gia blushed. They should be far past the innocent joys of “getting to know you,” but here she was, feeling like an adolescent with her first love. A little backward since they were already married, but she liked feeling the butterflies in her tummy.
She smiled at Jason, wondering again what she could possibly give him to make him half as happy as he made her?
Jason slid into the driver’s seat beside her and looked something up on his phone. Moments later, he revved the engine. It purred out of the parking lot, and she found herself lost in a haze of contentment.
Gia had married her husband once because she’d believed they would be happy together, but she’d never had the opportunity to test that theory. After today in particular, she knew she’d been right. Sex in a dressing room wasn’t something she wanted often, but Jason somehow understood her craving for that edge of wild—within a net of safety. He always delivered. She was the one who had failed him, first that summer night long ago when he’d arranged a sensual tryst in the park. She had failed him again when she’d assumed he would want nothing to do with her family problems. She hadn’t stood by their marriage.
“Thank you for refusing to give up on us.”
He turned to her, stare sharp as he slid to a stop at a red light. “You’re not angry any more?”
“More than anything, I was afraid. And I felt guilty. I knew so much of the blame for our separation could be laid at my feet. I didn’t think I mattered to you any more and that you’d ordered me to your condo to punish me.”
“And now?”
“I know you’re trying to put us back together. Our last nine days have been better than anything I could have dreamed of.”
Gia had a hard time admitting all that when Jason wouldn’t tell her that he loved her. But he cared. Neither of them were perfect. Maybe they would grow together in time. Maybe…but it still bugged her. Could she live the rest of her life feeling his adoration but never hearing the three most powerful words a husband could give his wife? Were they a cliché or some vital glue that held a marriage together?
Jason reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze, then punched on the gas pedal when the light turned green again. “I’m relieved to hear you say that. We have another nine days together, and I’ll enjoy every minute of them. But I would enjoy it more if you told me you would stay beyond our anniversary.”
“It’s crossed my mind. We have some issues to work through if we’re going to try.”
“We do. And I want to start now.”
With those cryptic words, Jason took her hand from his and gripped the steering wheel. His stare on the road looked somewhere between focused and grim.
“What do you mean?”
He didn’t answer right away, and she stared at the clock. Five forty. Her family would just be sitting down to her dad’s birthday dinner. She hadn’t had the chance to drop her father’s birthday gift off at the restaurant, and it was too late now. Gia cursed under her breath. She would just have to hang onto it until her father’s actual birthday.
She pictured her family chatting, singing, moaning over good food. They would miss having her there. The kids must be confused. She’d been a constant in their lives for the last year, and not seeing them felt like someone had punched a hole in her heart. They were so close to the restaurant… Gia thought of telling Jason about the gathering and suggesting they go. But as she glanced down at her three thousand dollar outfit and the gorgeous rock on her finger, she knew her parents would be shocked. If she remained Jason’s wife, she would tell her family when they’d married and why she’d hidden the union from them, but not while they celebrated her father’s birthday. Not in public. Not when she wasn’t sure if she and Jason had a future.
As the familiar streets passed, she focused on Jason’s strong profile and waited for an answer. Finally, he turned off one of the town’s main drags and down an ancillary street, slowing down as they approached Delvecchio’s. Her heart stopped as he pulled into the parking lot.
Crap! He’d overheard her on the phone with Mila earlier. “Jason…”
He shoved the car in park and turned to her. “You admitted that we have some issues to work through. The fact that I haven’t met your family is a huge obstacle. I want to remove it now. Hell, do they even know we dated?”
No. She’d been worried when she’d met Jason that her folks wouldn’t understand. He represented so many things her old-school, old-world parents didn’t like—establishment and money. He’d never worked with his hands. He wasn’t a part of the Church. No one in her family—not a single one of her sixteen cousins—had married anyone who wasn’t both intensely Italian and devoutly Catholic. She didn’t care about any of that, but her parents would. They would understand even less that she’d concealed her marriage from them.
Most of all, she didn’t want to put her family through this upheaval unless she believed that she and Jason could truly make a life together.
“It’s complicated.”
“It’s not,” he contradicted. “I’m not who they would have chosen for you. I understand that, but it’s your life and ultimately your choice. You say they ‘love’ you.”
“They do, but—”
“No buts. If they value your happiness, then they will allow you to make the best decision for you and respect it. Am I wrong?”
“You’re oversimplifying. They’re parents; they always think they know best.”
“You’re an adult with your own life.”
He was absolutely right. “But they’ve been the biggest part of it for years. I couldn’t do without them.”
“Well, I won’t be your dirty little secret any longer.” Jason gritted his teeth and sucked in a breath. “We are going to walk into that restaurant, and you’re going to introduce me as your husband. Or you are going to say your safe word. Tell me again what it is.”
“Divorce,” she choked out.
“That’s right. And we will never escape that possibility as long as you hide me from your family. All refusing to introduce us does is prove that you never intended to incorporate me into the important parts of your life.”
“I need time.” But as soon as the plea slipped from her lips, Gia knew she asked for too much.
“You’ve had nearly a year.”
She had more objections, but they were all about her escaping her family’s disappointment. About her not having to endure their shock and anger. Waiting did nothing but convince Jason that he wasn’t important to her. And that wasn’t true. If they could work it out, she wanted to stay with him. She loved him and wanted his happiness.
Her world tilted on its axis for a breath-stealing second. She steadied herself against his car as her thoughts raced. Could she even make him happy? Cold dread gripped her. Gia had no idea what Jason really saw in her. Maybe nothing.
Maybe that’s why he cared but didn’t love her.
God, she needed answers and she simply didn’t have them.
“Gia?” he asked, concern deepening his voice as the setting sun slanted through the windshield and cast a golden glow over his inky hair and bronzed skin. He watched her with blue eyes, fixed and unwavering.
“I’m fine,” she said automatically.
But she wasn’t. She’d been that insecure girl who’d let self-doubt cloud her brain and screw her up. She’d let fear rule her—and still did. She wasn’t a supermodel or a brainiac. She hadn’t come from a gilded background or even finished college. All along, she’d been unclear what she could possibly give him, and the moment her family obligations had separated them, she’d allowed her doubts to creep in and craft a million excuses for why they should remain apart.