“He’s not a liar. I trust him.” I was the one who’d lied to him. Hudson had done nothing but proven himself over and over.
“You’ll see.”
Her certainty sent goose bumps down my skin. There was no way she was right. I knew Hudson. He didn’t have secrets from me.
“Ah! Found it!” Stacy said in a sing-song voice. “Are you sure you don’t want anything before I start this? Water? Iced tea?”
I gritted my teeth, the knot in my belly tightening with every passing second. “I said, no thank you.”
“Popcorn?” She laughed. “I always like popcorn when I’m watching TV. Popcorn and M&M’s.”
“Look, Stacy, this isn’t entertainment for me. You say you have something that will make me feel differently about Hudson. Do you think I’m looking forward to this?”
This was ridiculous. What was I doing here, behind Hudson’s back no less? I should be talking to him, asking him about this stupid video instead of sneaking off to watch it. I didn’t even know if I could trust the woman in front of me. Maybe this whole video thing was a trick.
I stood to leave. “I shouldn’t be here. I have to go.” I headed toward the door.
“No! Wait! It’s already playing.”
Again, curiosity got the better of me. I turned back to the TV. The screen was dark, but there was a muffled voice in the background. Little by little, the voice became clearer. It was Hudson.
“I want you, precious. Whatever it takes to make that happen. Whatever I have to do. Whatever I have to say. I have to have you in my life.”
The screen was still dark, but I recognized the words. He’d said them to me—earlier. At the club.
“Is this some kind of a sick joke?”
“Just be patient.” Stacy giggled.
The screen began to lighten and the picture came into focus. Hudson lay on a bed facing away from the camera, completely naked. I glanced at Stacy, furious that she had seen my boyfriend without clothing, but Hudson’s next words drew me back to him. “Whatever I have to say, precious. I have to have you in my life.”
They were familiar words, but I’d never seen this scene before. I didn’t know that bed or that room. I hadn’t been there when this had been filmed. I shook my head—no, no, no. Those were my words. Precious was my name. Whom was he sharing my words with?
The camera began to move, zooming around Hudson. I held my breath, waiting to see whom he was speaking to, not wanting the confirmation.
But as the camera zoomed closer, the focus blurred. So much so that it was impossible to make out what was going on or who was on screen. It was like looking through a dirty windshield or a cloudy contact lens. I blinked over and over, hoping to clear the blur, to bring the picture into clarity. I was desperate to see what was going on, desperate to see who was there. Even though I didn’t want to, I was compelled.
I went to the TV and slapped my hand on its side, trying to sharpen the image. “Show me, dammit,” I screamed at the picture. “Show me what you’re hiding!”
I hit the television again and again, my hands red from the force, my breath ragged from the effort. I had to see, had to know. My gut told me the truth—the video held the answers. What I needed, what I was meant to see was here on this screen. Beyond the blur was what I dreaded most, my deepest fears, my darkest imaginings—the thing that could ruin everything.
The thing that could tear me and Hudson apart for good.
Chapter Two
I awoke in a panic, sweat beaded along my brow, my heart racing. I knew it was a dream, but the feeling it left was intense and vivid. Stupid, really. It wasn’t real.
But it wasn’t the dream video that had me in a panic—it was what might be on Stacy’s real life video. She’d said it was some sort of evidence about Hudson and Celia. I’d blown it off earlier in the night, but maybe I shouldn’t have because now it was seeping into my subconscious thoughts.
I glanced over at Hudson asleep next to me. Usually we remained in constant contact while we slept. His missing warmth exacerbated the “off” feeling that still clung to me after my nightmare. Not wanting to disturb my lover, I ignored the pull to snuggle into him and instead climbed out of bed, grabbed my robe, and headed to the bathroom.
Splashing cold water on my face, I took deep breaths and tried to calm down. I’d never been prone to nightmares. Even when my parents had died, my dreams had remained sweet and calm. My obsessive mind did enough work during the waking hours—sleep wasn’t where I fleshed out my problems.
I wasn’t obsessing like I had in the past, though. And there were problems still to be worked out. Yes, I was happy and in love. But the past week had been heartbreaking and stressful with Hudson in Japan and our relationship in limbo. I’d kept secrets that I wasn’t sure he could ever completely forgive me for. And he’d betrayed me in his own ways—going behind my back to remove David as the manager of The Sky Launch. Then, the worst, he hadn’t defended me. He’d chosen to listen to the lies of his childhood friend who was playing her own game where I was the pawn.
I knew our love outweighed the heaviness of those mistakes. He proved he knew it too when he arrived at the club earlier that evening, surprising me with his declaration of commitment to our relationship. Though he still hadn’t said the three words I longed to hear, I didn’t need them. I felt his love in every fiber of my being. Felt it as he’d made love to me on the dance floor with care and attention that spoke volumes. We were together for the long run, through thick and thin—it was apparent now and with that knowledge there should be a freedom from anxiety.
Except we still hadn’t worked out all our trust issues, and that had me feeling edgy. Plus there was this video that Stacy claimed to have. What did it show? Did I want to see it? Was it simply a trick? Or was it actually significant?
It bothered me enough to make me restless and unsure. Make me obsess while I slept.
It’s nothing, I told myself. It won’t affect anything with Hudson.
But the unease that encased me said differently.
“What’s wrong?”
Hudson startled me, but the tempo of my already accelerated heartbeat barely registered the shock. I peered over my shoulder at him standing in the bathroom door. He looked as he always looked—sexy and aloof. The sight of his naked body caused my breath to intake—every time—even when thoughts of jumping him weren’t on my mind. I bit my lip as my gaze traveled down his body. Well, maybe thoughts of jumping him weren’t as far away as I’d assumed.
He came behind me, his gray eyes probing mine in the mirror. “Are you okay?”
It crossed my mind to lie, but I wasn’t doing that anymore. I’d gotten a second chance with this man, and if we were going to make things work, I’d have to be better at sharing.
I needed to tell him about Stacy’s video.
And I would. But I needed a few minutes to regroup. “I just had a bad dream, and now I can’t sleep.”
His brow creased with worry. “Want to talk about it?”
I shook my head. Then changed my mind. “Yes. But later.”
“Hmm.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my head. “How about I get a hot bath going for you in the meantime?”
“That sounds heavenly.”
He let me go and started to the task. I leaned against the shower stall as Hudson bent over the large soaker tub and turned on the faucets. It was impossible not to admire his hard body, not to want to lick along the muscles of his abs, to bite the tight curve of his ass.