“Yes, you should have.” It would have made things much clearer to me about his relationships with both Celia and his father. And it had been yet another thing that stood as a wall between us—though most of the secrets keeping us apart had been mine. That was my regret.
Hudson released his hands from mine and swept them down my ribs. “It didn’t feel like it was my secret to tell.”
“Okay, that’s fair.” I shivered as his fingers kneaded the skin at my hips. He was getting restless, wanting more, wanting me. The time for talking was nearing an end. I had to jump to the meat of my concerns. “But some things have to change between us. We have to be able to share these things with each other. You could have at least told me you had good reasons not to trust her, reasons I shouldn’t trust her.”
“And you could have honored my wishes when I said don’t see her.”
“Yes, I could have.” I let out a sigh. “We both have to change. We have to put everything on the line, Hudson, as much as possible. We know now that we’re together, thick and thin, right? We have to trust that more than anything. We can’t be afraid of our secrets and our pasts. Both of us. Honesty, open doors, transparency.”
He cocked a brow. “Nakedness?”
Yep, I was losing him. “You’re such a perv.”
“I agree.” He leaned forward again to lick a bead of water from my nipple. “I am a perv where you’re concerned.”
I smirked. Which was difficult considering how his tongue on my breast made me crazy. “Hudson, stop. I’m serious.”
“I know.” He leaned back against the tub. “And I agree with everything else you said. We need to be honest.”
“Good.” I put my hand up to stop him before he resumed his seduction. “Hold on. I have one more thing.”
“Okay, what?”
He was getting impatient but trying not to show it. I almost decided to leave the rest of our conversation for later. But the memory of my nightmare and the cold foreboding feeling that lingered in my chest pushed me forward. “What happened between you and Stacy?”
“Stacy?” He seemed confused. “Mirabelle’s Stacy?”
“Yeah.”
“Nothing happened.” He was bewildered by my question. “What do you mean? Like did I date her? I took her to a charity event a year or so ago. But after that, nothing.”
“And I didn’t sleep with her,” he added before I had to ask.
That was comforting. But that wasn’t the reason she concerned me. “Is there a reason she’d have a vendetta against you? Or reason to distrust you?”
He shook his head slowly. “Not that I can think of.”
“She wasn’t one of your past victims?”
“Victims?” His eyes narrowed. “Is that what you call the people I played with?”
I cringed. “Maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words?”
“No. It probably is the best choice. That doesn’t make it pleasant to hear.”
“I’m sorry.”
His features darkened. “Don’t be. It’s my past. I have to live with it. Why are you asking?”
I took a deep breath. We were putting everything on the line, after all. This was part of it. “The last time we were at Mira’s, Stacy told me that she had some sort of video. A video that proved something or other about you and Celia. She didn’t have it with her, so I gave her my phone number so she could contact me later.”
“The last time we were at Mira’s together?”
“Yeah. She cornered me while you were finding me shoes. Do you know what she’s talking about?” I studied his face, trying to pick up on anything he might be hiding.
“No idea.” Either he was really good at acting or he truly had no clue. I’d never seen him so perplexed. “She didn’t tell you what the video was of?”
“No. Just that she had it and that it would show me why I couldn’t trust you.” I bit my lip. “And she texted me again tonight. Or sometime this past week when I didn’t have a phone, and I didn’t get the message until tonight.”
I expected him to ask why I hadn’t told him earlier, but he didn’t. “What did her text say?”
“That the video was too big to send over the phone but to contact her if I wanted to see it.”
He considered. “Do you want to see it?”
“No.” But I kind of did. “Yes.” Unless I didn’t. “I don’t know. Should I?”
“Well.” He rubbed his hands up my arms. “You know that Celia can’t be trusted already. And there is nothing that Stacy could have on me that you don’t already know. You know more about my secrets and my past than anyone. You know me, Alayna.”
“I do.”
“Then unless you don’t trust me…”
“I do trust you. If you say there’s nothing I should be concerned about…”
His eyes locked on mine. “There isn’t.”
I paused. The minute I said my next words, I couldn’t take them back. I’d have to put the video out of my mind and move on. It went against all my obsessive tendencies—could I do it?
I believed I could. For Hudson. I smiled. “Then I don’t need to see it.” It was easier to say than I would have imagined. And I meant it. I didn’t need the proof of other people to know who Hudson was, what he meant to me.
It was amazing how much better I felt having the subject of the video off my chest. It no longer felt like a weight on me, though there was still some lingering edginess that probably just needed time to distill.
Hudson leaned forward and kissed my chin. “Thank you.”
“For what, exactly?”
“For being open with me.” He tilted his head. “You didn’t have to tell me about that, and you did anyway.”
“I’m serious about being more open and honest.”
“I see that. I’m serious about it too. The only way we can move on is to decide that we’re committed to each other first and foremost.” His eyes rose to meet mine. “Are we?”
They were only two short words, but the weight of the question was heavy—heavier than when he’d asked me to be his girlfriend or to move in. And yet it was with ease and certainty that I responded. “I am.”
“So am I.” He captured my mouth with his, sucking lightly on my bottom lip before his tongue flicked inside, twisting with mine in an erotic dance of foreplay. I threw my hands around his neck, pulling myself closer into him. His cock thickened between us and my pussy clenched in reaction, wanting and needing him as much as his kiss said he needed me.
Without releasing my mouth, Hudson moved a hand to my breast. He was such an expert at handling me in the way I needed, his touch never too gentle, always just the right amount of rough. I cried against his lips as he squeezed my tit, driving me mad. I was so concentrated on his attention to my chest, I didn’t notice his other hand traveling lower until his thumb was rubbing against my clit. I jolted at the exquisite pressure, my knees clutching his hips. I was already feeling the tight sensation in my lower belly building toward eruption. So soon, too soon.
I was on top, and wanting to delay my explosion until we could go together, I pushed away his hand from my core. Hudson’s eyes closed slightly as I circled my grip around his thick erection. I stroked him once before shifting my weight forward onto my kneecaps. Positioning myself over him, I slid down his hard length, moaning as he filled me.
I sat atop him, sitting still for several seconds as my body adjusted to his size, my walls expanding to make room for him. Damn, he felt good. Just like that, without any movement—he felt made for me, as though his penis had been carved to fit my pussy and mine alone. I shuddered at the carnal thoughts that intensified the heavenly sensation of him inside me.
He shifted beneath me, his impatience evident. So I moved, riding him. Slowly at first, then more determined. My hands braced against his shoulders, pushing me off with the force I knew Hudson desired, the force I desired. It wasn’t long before his hands were wrapped around my ass, augmenting my movement. And then, he held me still as his hips thrust up and forward in a circular pattern, driving into me with long deliberate strokes.