“What about home? Didn’t you hear what I said? We can leave.”
“I’m not deaf.”
“I don’t understand. We’ve been talking about returning to Denu Creek nearly every day since we were forced into the army.”
She shook her head. “No. You talked about going home. I just listened. Personally, I’d rather this war go on for another ten years if it meant I didn’t have to go back.”
I blinked. “I can’t believe I just heard that.”
“Seriously? Ignore the alcohol and clear your head, big brother. The memories of our youth aren’t exactly fond ones. At least not the ones outside of our family. How many times did I get picked on? How many times did you get into fights trying to protect me? Gods, even after my talent manifested, it didn’t get any better. Sure, no one hit me or made fun of me to my face, but I still saw the looks cast my way. I noticed how the girls excluded me from their little get togethers while the boys acted like I was some kind of freak. I don’t want to return to that. And despite Ma and Pa saying it would get better when we all got older, it never did.”
“But what about Lasha and the kids? Don’t you want to know your niece and nephew?”
Ava smiled. “Lasha is going to be too busy making up for lost time with her husband to worry about me. And as far as Myra and Zadok go, they’ll both be better off seeing me through your rose-colored eyes than to learn the truth face-to-face.”
I shook my head, unable to believe what I was hearing.
However, what she said did make sense.
Life had been hard for her, far more than for me. Part of it had been her personality, but most of it had related to things outside of her control, like sorcery. In a small town like Denu Creek, folks acted as if you were cursed to have a talent for such things. On the other hand, my resistance made some people think I had been blessed by the very gods who cursed Ava as a way to keep my wild sister under control.
“You know they’ll make you wear robes,” I said, gesturing to her leathers.
Unlike every other mage, Ava refused to wear the traditional garb associated with one of talent. She thought the attire looked ridiculous unless you were an old man pushing a hundred. I agreed, but still liked to give her a hard time about it.
She scowled. “We’ll see about that.”
“What about me?” I asked, serious once more.
“What about you?”
“Are we going to see each other again?”
She chuckled. “I’m not dead. You can come to Hol any time to visit me. I’d love to show you around. You can even bring the family if you aren’t sick of them after a month of being home.”
A tight smile came to my lips as I tried to hide my sadness. I could tell by the look on her face that we both knew that wouldn’t happen. After a month, I’d be trying to get settled back into a routine at the farm, catching up on all that had happened from our uncle who I had tasked to help Lasha out while we were gone. Once I fell back into that routine, the chances of me leaving for weeks on end would be slim.
“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea,” I said, lying.
It didn’t make me feel any better, but maybe it did for her.
* * *
Ava and I parted a short while later when a High Mage-one of her new tutors, I presumed-interrupted us for something that he considered important. A part of me wanted to slam my fist into his face for not refusing my sister’s request to go to Hol. But I refrained. Ava and I weren’t children anymore, and I had to let her make her own decisions. I needed to respect her decision, regardless of how much it hurt to do so.
The weight of my conversation with Ava had one positive in that it sobered me up.
Losing her. Losing half my unit. Winning the war. Winning my freedom. With everything that had happened, I felt as emotionally drained as I did physically fatigued. Even still, I knew sleep wouldn’t come any time soon so I walked around camp again.
Like a moth to a candle, I drifted toward blazing bonfires off in the distance, careful not to get too close to them. The bonfires were not fueled by wood, but by mounds of flesh. No officer wanted death to linger so close to their army lest all the disease that came with it spread among the survivors.
I stopped fifty yards upwind from the hellish inferno, near a pile of armor and weapons stripped from the corpses. Men stoked the flames licking at the naked bodies.
If there had ever been a sight to damage the allure of war, this was it.
“Gods, you left us for this?”
I turned at the sound of Hamath’s voice.
“No. Though it smells better here than downwind of your feet.”
He laughed. “Talked to Ava, then?”
I nodded. “She’s moving on to Hol. The High Mages are taking her on as an apprentice. Our successful mission really impressed them.”
“I’m sorry. Really.”
“Thanks.”
We didn’t say much else for some time, watching body after body smolder and burn.
“Crazy, isn’t it?” I asked.
“What is?”
I gestured. “All of this. How many soldiers will be forgotten? One turn of the blade or stab of an arrow separates the living from the dead. They could have been here watching our bodies dumped onto the fire, rather than the other way around.”
“Well, I’m glad it isn’t like that.”
“Yeah, me too. Makes me feel guilty for admitting it though.”
“Every soldier feels that way.”
“Maybe. It’s just sad that a hundred years from now, no one is likely to remember what they died for. Gods, how many people are likely to forget in ten years? One year? Molak be cursed, less than that?”
“I won’t forget them. That’s for sure,” said Hamath.
“Me either.”
Hamath turned, slapping me in the arm. “All right, enough of this. We’ve got all the time in the world to mourn. Let’s get back to the others and celebrate. We’re going home, and we’ll be treated as heroes. What better way to honor those soldiers who died than enjoying all the accolades for them.”
I chuckled as we turned and started walking away. “Heroes? You really don’t believe that do you?”
“Trust me.”
CHAPTER 4
The next morning I saw Ava off.
I stood in the middle of camp near the officers’ tents with Ira, Dekar, and Hamath. They had already wished Ava good luck, and said their farewells. Though Ava could be a hard person to get along with at times, I could tell they’d all miss her. Even Ira. You didn’t fight alongside someone for ten years without growing close in some way.
Ava waited for the transfer portal a step ahead of me, nervously shifting from foot to foot.
Further away, High Mages guarded prisoners of war, most of which wore the robes of Geneshan sorcerers. The leader of the High Mages, someone’s whose name I couldn’t pronounce, carried the wooden box that held the Geneshan artifact under his arm.
The Geneshan sorcerers looked nauseous just being in the box’s vicinity. Thinking on my conversation with Balak, it appeared the Geneshans believed the artifact was something to fear.
Loud, rapid popping filled the air. A blue and white flash of radiance followed. It coalesced into an oval of bright light that hung a few inches above the ground.
I’ve seen dozens of transfer portals over the years and they never ceased to fill me with a sense of awe.
According to Ava, portals were a handy method of travel, though not safe enough to use in battle. After a few disastrous attempts at transferring units close to enemy targets, the mode of transportation had been relegated to delivering messages to Hol to keep the king abreast on the war while he spent his time doing whatever it was kings did.
She faced me, looking nervous. “I guess this is it,” she said.
“No guessing about it,” I said.
Neither of us knew how to say good-bye. The knowledge that we’d likely never see each other again left us formal and stiff.