“That must have hurt.” It felt good to give her a hard time.
“Not as much as you think it did.” Her eyes widened again. “I keep getting distracted. Hand me my clothes. We need to get on the road. The farther we get from Hol the better.”
She started to sit up, but with a gentle push, I flattened her back against the bed. “You’re in no condition to go anywhere. Why don’t you try to eat something and then get some more rest? We can talk when you get up. Whatever that artifact did, it seems like it’s done. ”
She shook her head. “I don’t think it is.” She took a slow breath. “Do you have any food? I feel so weak.”
“Zadok. Go get the rest of the breakfast Boaz’s wife brought up.”
“All right, Pa.”
“I’ll bring in some more water,” said Myra.
Zadok came back with a handful of biscuits and a bowl of porridge. “This is all that was left, Pa. Ira ate the last of the sausage.”
“That figures. He’s always been as greedy as a pig,” Ava muttered.
“I love you too,” Ira shouted from the other room.
Ava tried to shout a curse back, but ended up coughing. Their bickering made it almost feel like old times. In a good way.
Dekar peeked in. “I’ll go down and see what else is in the kitchen. Any requests, Ava?”
“I don’t really care. Just make sure you grab some honey so I can coat my throat.”
Dekar nodded. “I’ll be back shortly.”
He ducked out.
Myra returned with more water.
“Just leave it on the nightstand,” said Ava.
“I can help you drink it,” said Myra.
“I’ll be all right. But if I need help, I’ll make your Pa do it. Might as well milk him having to wait on me, huh?” She winked.
Zadok chuckled, but Myra’s face remained like a wall of stone.
“How about you give us a little time alone?” Ava asked. “No offense, but me and your Pa have a lot of catching up to do in private.”
I saw their disappointed faces. “It’ll just be for a little while,” I said. “Besides, you both look like you could use some more sleep.”
“So do you,” said Myra.
“I’ll get it eventually.”
“Fine,” Myra huffed. “Let’s go Zadok.” She grabbed her brother by the arm and they left again, closing the door behind them.
Ava grunted. “They turned out to be good-looking kids.”
“Yep.”
“A little on the skinny side though. Zadok has that worships-his-father look about him. I’m sure that makes you feel good. Myra though. . she’s a cold one. Definitely inherited that look you liked to give to recruits when they were on your bad side.”
“I’ve noticed. I think she pretty much hates me.”
“Well, what girl doesn’t hate their Pa at that age? I remember getting into arguments with ours all the time.”
“True. But your arguments were about staying out late or using sorcery as a way to pay back those who used to pick on you. They weren’t about blaming him for every bad thing that had happened to you over the last ten years. There’s a lot we missed,” I said, voice somber.
“There’s a lot you missed in Hol too. Here, help me sit up and hand me that food. We’ve got a lot to talk about. You go first while I eat. Then when you’re done I’ll jump in. Maybe by then I’ll be able to think clearly enough for us to figure out what in the name of Ao to do next.”
I pulled her up and adjusted her pillows as she used her free hand to hold the sheet over her chest. “So, where do I start?” I asked, handing her a biscuit.
“How about with what happened to Lasha?”
I opened my mouth, paused, and shook my head as something got caught in my throat. Images of what must have gone on in that room at the Soiled Dove flooded my thoughts.
“Let’s start somewhere else. I’ll need to build up to that.”
* * *
Eventually, I built to what happened to Lasha, but only after telling her about everything else I could recall including all that Myra, Zadok, and I had gone through since my return to Denu Creek. I kept my focus on my hand still wrapped around Ava’s through most of it. I just couldn’t look her in the eye. I didn’t notice my sister’s sobs until she squeezed my hand tightly while I began the story of how Lasha had to work as a prostitute to make sure our children survived.
I looked up at Ava’s tear-streaked face. My sister, tougher than every other woman I’d ever known, had not cried since she was probably six and had skinned her knee while out in the field. I remember giving her a hard time about it then, a requirement of all older brothers. However, she hadn’t so much as sniffled in sadness since then, even when our parents died.
“You’re crying?”
She punched my arm with her free hand. It was a weak effort, but the meaning was not lost on me. “Of course, I’m crying. I’m not a piece of granite.”
“Sorry, I’m just surprised.”
“I’m sorry, Tyrus. For everything.”
“Forget about me. Think about Lasha.” I nodded toward the door. “And the kids.”
She wiped her face. “I guess they had been fighting their own war while we were fighting ours. That explains why your daughter could probably freeze water with that look.”
I bobbed my head in agreement.
“How are you dealing with all this?” she asked.
“Not well. But I don’t really have a choice. I’ve got two kids to look after.”
“So you been keeping it in then?”
“Well, I’m not about to talk to Zadok or Myra about what I’m feeling.”
“What about Dekar? Or even Ira? Have you told them everything?”
“A few things in passing, but not all the details. I’m sure they’ve been able to put the pieces together, especially if others in town have talked to them. They’ve been good enough to keep it to themselves.”
“Big brother, when will you learn? You can’t keep this stuff to yourself.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“True, but I’d talk to you about something like this if the roles were reversed. Gods, I can tell you’re feeling better already. I know that’s not just from me coming around.”
“I was worried about you.”
“Still.”
I sighed. “I’m not disagreeing with what you’re trying to say, but it’s not as easy as you think.” I thought of my dream with Jareb and Lasha. “Frankly, I don’t want to talk about the stuff going through my head, because its images of things no man should have of his wife, you know? I don’t want to share that with anyone because I want to forget it myself. Her enjoying. .” I coughed, then started to laugh bitterly. “I keep thinking about our conversation over that last recruit you hurt when he hit that whore. You asked ‘What if that was Lasha?’ To think after all this time you had a talent for prophecy too.”
She put her free hand over mine and I realized I had started to shake. “I never in a thousand years thought there’d be any truth to what I said. Otherwise, I never would have made the comment.”
“I know.”
“Big brother, promise me something.”
“What?”
“Not to forget that regardless of how genuine those images seem, they aren’t real. Lasha worshipped the ground you walked on in a way I never understood. Still don’t. She loved you. Just like she loved those kids. I’m sure anything she did she treated like a job. Like you and I would have looked at digging ditches. I’m willing to bet it lacked all enjoyment and love. No way she would have given that part of herself to anyone but you.”
“I know,” I whispered. “It’s just going to take time.”
“Then let’s drop it. Pull yourself together so we can call in Ira and Dekar. They should be back by now. It will do them some good to hear what I have to say and I’d rather not repeat myself.”
“Are you up for more talking?”
“I’m feeling better after that food. Besides, after what you told me, the end of the world doesn’t seem half as bad as what’s happened already.”
* * *
Before I grabbed Ira and Dekar, I helped Ava put on an old shirt we’d borrowed from Dinah so she could sit up without someone helping her hold a sheet over her chest. She wasn’t keen on putting her leathers back on just yet. Dekar came in shortly afterward carrying more food-a bit of ham, cheese, fresh bread, a couple of apples, and honey. He took the lone chair in the room and began laying the goods out. Ava went right for the honey, attacking it with a spoon while Ira brought in another chair from the sitting room.