Why? That was very unsettling to hear. It frightened him. Where will you be?
I wonʼt be here, boy. And you had better know what to do.
I donʼt know what to do! He was trying to be straightforward with Mauryl, as Mauryl demanded. But he was beginning to be scared, now. How long will you be gone, sir? Where will you go? He did not conceive a place outside this place. He couldnʼt think of one.
Things end, boy. People go away.
No. He caught at Maurylʼs hands. Donʼt go away, Mauryl. He had never thought before that there was anywhere to go, or any other place to look down from, at the woods, or up from, at the sun and the clouds. But there must, then, be other places. Iʼll go, too.
Not by my choice, Mauryl said. Not now. And if youʼre good, if you think hard, if you study maybe I wonʼt have to go at all. I could be wrong. I might stay after all. If youʼre very, very good. If you study.
I will study. He snatched at Maurylʼs hands. I will. Iʼll try not to make mistakes.
Do you know, boy, that your mistakes could open the keep to the Shadows, that you could leave a door unlatched, that you could be outside enjoying the breeze and the rain, and do something so utterly foolish by your inattention to the hour, that they could get you while youʼre outside, and then what could I do, can you say? I had to come out in the rain just now to get you, foolish lad, and what if it were something worse than rain, what if it only looked good and felt good to touch, and what if it only felt good for the moment, boy, eh? What if it opened the doors and opened the windows and left you nowhere to run, then what would you do? Can you answer me that?
I donʼt know, Mauryl!
Mauryl freed his own hands and captured his instead. Well, youʼd do well to figure it out before you do something so foolish, wouldnʼt you, boy?
I want to! I want to, Mauryl!
Wanting to wonʼt be enough. Trying wonʼt be enough. After itʼs got you is far too late.Before is the only time you own, lad, the only before you can trust is now, and you donʼt even know how long before is, do you, foolish boy?
No. He thought that Mauryl was telling him his answer, maybe the very means to assure that he would never go away, but he could by no desperate reach of his wits comprehend what Mauryl was saying. I donʼt know, Mauryl. I want to know, but Iʼm a fool. I donʼt understand anything!
Mauryl bumped his chin with his finger, and made him look up.
Then until you do understand, pay very close attention to doors and windows. Donʼt do stupid things on the parapets. Donʼt risk your safety. Donʼt go out in storms, donʼt let the sun sneak behind the walls when youʼre not paying attention.
I wonʼt, Mauryl!
Go practice your letters while the storm lasts. Read and write. These are useful things. Mauryl stood up and rummaged among parchments on the table, sending several off onto the dusty floor, along with a tin plate and a dirty spoon. Tristen dived down and rescued them, and put them up on the table again; but three and four more hit the floor immediately after, and Mauryl caught his sleeve, compelling his attention to a small codex Mauryl had pulled from among the parchments. Mauryl pressed it into his hands and folded his fingers over the aged leather.
Here is the answer, boy. Here is your answer to all your questions. Here is the way. Learn it. Study it. Become wise.
Tristen opened the book to its center. Its pages were thick with copywork, a bold and heavy hand that was not at all like the writing on the parchments Mauryl trampled underfoot, not written in the delicate, rapid letters Mauryl used.
Someone else copied this, Tristen thought, and although that someone elseʼ was not the thunderstroke of a Word, it was a thought he had never framed in his mind, a thought that there could be someone else, or anyone else, now, or ever.
But there had been. There were, in the same way there were, Mauryl hinted, other places. There must be other someones.
There must be, in those other places, as naturally as there must be a sun over those places and a wind to rattle their shutters, someone like Mauryl and someone like himself. There was more than one dove, was there not, that lived in the loft?
There was more than one mouse in the lower hall. There were at least six, that Mauryl called sneaking little thieves, and yet put out bits of bread for them, because Mauryl said they were old, too, and moving more slowly now than they had.
So things had greater numbers than one, and mice grew old, and doves flew out over the woods Mauryl said to fear and yet came back safe to their roosts in the loft, which had no shutters to bolt. There were many, many of them.
And someone other than Mauryl had written the copywork in this book, using straight, black letters that crossed the page in rigid dark masses, when Maurylʼs flowed like the tracks of mice across the dust.
Boy!
He had walked straight ahead, thinking of the precious book in his hand, not the stairs before him. He had forgotten, first of lessons, the single step down. He caught himself, at Maurylʼs voice, and made the little step safely, feeling shame burn in his face as he looked back.
Mauryl shook his head, out of patience with a fool.
So, shamefaced, he took his little book down to the table where the wall sconces were. He took the waxed straw from the holder and carried fire from the watch-candle, which was his task to renew every night and every morning, and lit the three candles.
Candles donʼt come like dewdrops, Mauryl had said, when once he left the drafty kitchen door open and the watch-candle had burned out. Mauryl had been out of sorts and had him light his straw instead off the embers in the hearth, which ate up half the straw at once, Mauryl grumbling all the while about fools leaving doors unlatched, and saying candles were hard come by, and they should be burning knots of straw by winter if his husbandry was so profligate.
Winter was a Word, howling white and bitter cold. Straw was a little one, yellow and dusty and hot. Dewdrops he knew from spiderwebs on the shutters, and the old keep had many spiders.
But where did candles come from, that they were at once so scarce, and yet vanished every handful of days for new ones to fill their holders?
They were like the little book, written in another hand, evidence of something outside, and of things more than one. Once he began chasing that thought, it seemed clear to him that candles came from somewhere.
And where then did their clothes come from, when Mauryl said, Mauryl had said it just this morning, that it was one thing to conjure something to do what it would do anyway, and one thing to make things seem better than they were, and quite another, Mauryl had said disgustedly, to conjure a new shirt, which had to come of a good many herb bundles, and which heʼd torn on a splinter in the loft.
Mauryl had taught him how to patch it, and made him do it many times until he made it right.
Mauryl gave him such an important thing as this book, on which Mauryl said everything rested, and he thought only about shirts and candles, his thoughts skittering about as they always did, chasing down so many, many steps and stairs of his imaginings, into all the rooms that were there, that only had other doors behind the ones he knew. He tried not to go wit-wandering. He tried not to think of questions.
He sat down at the study table, in the old chair that was most comfortable, except for Maurylʼs. He opened the book and smoothed flat the stiff pages. His own copywork, scattered all around him, was wearing the parchments down by layers in attempts at such orderly rows as this: he copied Maurylʼs mouse-track writing and his fingers found ways to ink not only the parchment but himself, the quills, and other parchments. His quills threw ink into small spots he never suspected existed until he put his hand on them. He could writeTristen and keep it straight. But line after line, this marched straight and true, in masterful strokes of writing so heavy and dark it drew the eye straight to it and did not let it go.