“I thought you had some breakthrough conversation with the crazy woman at the grocery store,” Jake said.
“She spoke to me,” I said. “But she didn’t un-ban me.”
We were folding laundry up in our bedroom, the freshly dried load of clothes in a mountain on our bed.
“Look, if anyone says you are banned, I will be happy to set them straight.”
“I don’t want to make a scene,” I said. “And I don’t want you to, either.”
“Since when do you not want to make a scene?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
I swatted him with a sock. “I don’t like making scenes. They just… find me.”
“Weird how that happens, “ Jake mumbled.
“So, you’ll take them.” I said this more as a statement than a question.
“No. We will.” He grabbed a T-shirt and shook it before folding it in half. “Look, we paid for the girls to be a part of the show. You designed the program thing. We’ve shown up for everything that’s been required. There’s absolutely no way she is banning you from the theater.”
“But if she still thinks I’m banned, I don’t want to cause problems by showing up. I don’t want to make it awkward for the girls,” I said.
He rolled his eyes. “The only that might be awkward is if I have take that Eleanor woman and stuff her in a costume trunk. Because I’m not sure she’ll fit. You’re going to the dress rehearsal and the performances. End of story.”
I rolled a pair of socks together and said nothing. I appreciated that he defended me no matter what, and I had no doubt he actually would stuff Eleanor into a costume trunk if he had to. He’d have no problem telling Eleanor that he was going to lock the entire theater up and keep everyone out until she let me in, if that was what it took.
But I really was leery of causing a scene and bringing attention to the girls. I didn’t want them to be embarrassed in front of the other kids, or to think I was causing some sort of problem for them. As much as Sophie liked to act and Grace begged for the spotlight, I didn’t like making them the center of attention for something they hadn’t done.
“Stop fretting over it,” Jake said, eyeing me over the shrinking mountain of laundry. “It’ll be fine.”
“Says the guy who isn’t banned.”
“There is no ban!” he said. “What is she going to do? Stand at the door and wait for you to come through it? No, she’ll be backstage, yelling her brains out, like always. And, no, before you even suggest it, she won’t have provided a banned list to whoever is working the door. It’s not like we have to provide I.D. to get in.”
“Maybe we will,” I said. “Maybe she’ll have, like, eye scanners or something.”
“Yes. There will probably be eye scanners. That seems reasonable and possible. I mean, it is Moose River.”
I threw a pair of underwear at him, but he ducked and it sailed over his head, landing on the windowsill.
“I just don’t want it to be an issue,” I told him.
“It won’t be. I promise.”
We finished folding the laundry, and I delivered the stacks to the appropriate rooms. Jake stayed in our room and I found him sprawled on his back on the bed, his hands behind his stomach, his eyes closed.
“Laundry wear you out?” I asked, setting the white laundry basket on the scuffed wood floor.
He opened his eyes. “Yes,” he said. “Really glad I have, like, a job where I have to leave the house. Not sure how you get all of this done on a daily basis.”
“I’m pretty amazing,” I said, dropping onto the bed next to him. “I’m like bionic or something.”
“Or something.”
We laid there in silence for a few minutes, both of us staring at the ceiling, enjoying the quiet. My leg pressed into his thigh and he shifted closer, bringing his full length alongside me.
“You’re awfully quiet,” he said.
“So?”
“You’re never quiet.”
“That is not true!”
“Daisy.” The word was almost a reprimand.
We lay there for another minute before I sighed.
“I’m not sure I can be a detective,” I finally told him.
“Why is that?”
“Because I’ve been totally wrong about Amanda,” I said. “Everyone maintained that she probably just ran away. But I kept looking at everyone as a suspect. Well, guess what? All of my suspects? Pretty sure they didn’t do anything.”
“Isn’t that called...investigating?” he asked.
“Investigating badly,” I clarified. “I think I just need to remember that I’m a mom and a wife first, and everything else second. Chef, chauffeur, maid, teacher. But investigator? That shouldn’t even rank.”
“You know, I love you as a mom and a wife,” he said, rolling onto his side. He put his arm over me. “You’re great at being both. And you run this house better than I ever could. And you teach these kids better than any school could because you know them – you know how their brains work and what they’ll respond to. But I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to be just those things. One of the reasons I brought up investigating was because I thought you were bored, like I told you. Like you needed something else. If you ever want something else, I don’t want you to feel like you don’t have the option of going and getting it.”
I laid my hand over his. “Thank you. For saying that, and for meaning it. But I’m gonna focus on you and the kids for awhile.”
“Is that what you want?” he asked quietly. “Really, truly?”
“Yes,” I said. “The kids were just jabbering in the car earlier and realized I hadn’t heard that in awhile,” I explained. “Because I don’t think I’ve been listening. And I don’t want to be one of those moms that all of a sudden wakes up and my kids are gone.”
“Yeah, an empty house sounds...terrible.”
“You know what I mean,” I said, elbowing him. “I don’t want to blink and have them be adults. I like them as kids. I don’t want to miss out because I’m preoccupied with things that don’t matter.”
He nodded. “That’s fine with me, Daisy. I get it. I really do.”
“So I will be more present here at home. And I will keep my nose to myself and stop putting it in other people’s business.”
He chuckled. “You really think you can do that?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Be supportive,” I reminded him.
His expression turned serious. “I just want you be happy.”
“I am happy.”
And occupied.”
I rolled into him and laid my head on his chest I looked up at him. “I am occupied.”
He grinned. “And banned.”
I arched an eyebrow. Jake could never be serious for long. It was one of the things I loved most about him. He knew when I needed support and he knew when I needed humor injected into a situation or conversation.
“I thought you were going to get me unbanned.”
He put his arm around me and hugged me, kissing the top of my head. “Nobody bans my wife. Nobody.”
THIRTY SEVEN
“Mom!” Grace yelled. “I can’t find my hat! I forgot my hat! For my costume!”
“It’s on your head, “ Sophie told her.
Grace reached up and patted her head. “Found it!”
We were all piled into the minivan – except for Emily who had elected to stay home to do homework – on our way to the dress rehearsal. Will was in the backseat and I was fairly certain that he’d come along just to see what would happen with the whole banned situation. I assumed he was hoping for some sort of showdown.
I was not.
“What about my hat?” I asked, glancing in the mirror on the visor.
I’d grabbed one of Emily’s wool beanies, a soft pink and white striped one that I’d pulled on to my head and had now tugged so far down that all of my hair was inside of it and my eyes were barely visible. I thought I might be able to disguise my way in.
“We’re just going to walk right in,” Jake said, reading my mind. “We aren’t going to make a big deal about it and we aren’t going to ask. Plus, since it’s rehearsal, it’s not like there will be an admission table or anything like that.” He glanced over at me. “It’ll be fine.”