Caleb shook his head. “I wouldn’t be doing it for anything other than sex.”
He couldn’t allow himself to want more. He wasn’t cut out for it. He had too much rage. He was far too damaged.
“Holly needs to feel wanted. Holly needs to feel like a goddess. I know how to read women. She’s been alone for a long time. She’s not confident in herself.”
“She’s beautiful. How can she not know that?” He dreamed about her. Her curves, the sunset color of her hair, the soft silk of her skin. She was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen, and it went far past her killer body. When she smiled, she lit up like a lamp that had been turned on and illuminated a previously dark room.
“Because too many people told her she wasn’t. She’s divorced, right? I bet the guy was an ass.”
Caleb would like to get his hands on Congressman Scott Lang. Maybe he should look into the asshole, see if he could fuck up his life a little bit. He bet Alexei would be really good at that. Alexei would know all the tricks. “He’s a politician. Asshole doesn’t begin to cover it.”
Wolf snorted a little. “No wonder you haven’t told her who you are. I’m sure she doesn’t want to get involved with another political family. Look, she’s been crazy about you for a while. It’s all over her face. She wants Alexei, too. Choosing between the two of you is going to hurt her.”
“I didn’t offer her a choice.” But he had put his hands all over her. He’d held her and kissed her, and now he wondered if he could really go the rest of his life without touching her again. “Besides, I can’t stand Alexei.”
Wolf turned to him, his dark eyes serious. “So you’re never going to tell the woman you love how you feel? Man, they won, didn’t they? You won’t fight for her. You won’t share her. You never really got out of the jungle, Caleb. I didn’t really save you, did I? Your body might have walked out, but the essential part of you is still there. Can’t you see that?”
The jungle? Hell, he’d never really gotten out of the box they’d put him in. He was still there. He moved through his life, but his soul had been killed and buried in the box that had served as his prison. His body moved on, treating his existence as a living purgatory where the things that could open him up were always just out of reach because he couldn’t get out of that fucking box.
“I can’t tell her I love her.” Caleb turned his eyes back to the road.
Wolf’s voice got low, cajoling. “But you can show her. You can give her the fantasy she’s never had. You can make her feel like she’s never felt before. How many women get two men utterly devoted to her sexual pleasure? Make her feel like a goddess. Give her the confidence that was taken from her.”
Tempting. So tempting. He could show her how he felt with his hands and his mouth and his cock. He could prove to her just how desirable she was.
“I don’t like Alexei. He’s a criminal.”
“Former criminal,” Wolf corrected.
“Once a criminal, always a criminal.”
“He saved Holly. Doesn’t he deserve a second chance? He’s trying to change the course of his life. I think he deserves a little slack. Have you read the transcripts of the trials he testified in? Have you read the workup the justice department did on him? He might have done some bad shit, but it was all to other criminals and a lot of it was in self-defense.”
“He wrote to me.” It was the first time Caleb had admitted it. “While he was in witness protection, he wrote to me.”
“Really? What did he say?”
“He just talked about stuff. I just glanced through them.” It was a lie. He’d read them all. He’d been curious about the first one. It had been an earnest letter that asked for forgiveness and thanked Caleb for saving his life. Caleb wasn’t a forgiving man. The rest had talked about everything from his motel rooms to the television he watched to his relationship with his brother. So why hadn’t Caleb trashed them? They were still sitting in his desk drawer in a neat stack.
Why hadn’t he gotten rid of them?
Wolf sighed. “I don’t think it’s going to do you any good to stay here and watch Holly settle down with another man. Why don’t you think about coming to Dallas with me? There would be any number of places to work in Dallas. And then maybe I wouldn’t need to room with my zentastic brother.”
And leave Holly? Never see Holly again? And Bliss? He couldn’t imagine living anywhere but Bliss. Sure, he complained. A lot. It was his thing. He bitched, but he loved the town. He loved the mountains and the snow. He loved the summers in high country. He’d been to a lot of the world’s great places, and not a one of them held a candle to Bliss. He could remember the moment he’d turned off the highway and he’d seen the valley for the first time. He’d stopped the truck because it was so serene and beautiful. The sun had just been going down and the whole world had been gauzy and slightly unreal, like someone had painted it. He’d thought this might be a place where he could find some peace—and he had.
“I can’t leave. This place needs a doctor.”
Wolf slid him a long look. “You’re not going to give an inch, are you?”
“What’s that up ahead? Is that a person?” He was grateful for the distraction. Someone was walking up the road. It was a dangerous thing to do. The mountain road had curves and sometimes people drove far too fast. It was a very bad idea to walk along the road. The woman, he was sure it was a woman now, trudged up the road, clutching her purse against her side. She needed a stern talking-to. He thought about calling Nate on Wolf’s radio.
“Is that Holly?” Wolf’s head craned forward.
“Stop the truck.” He was definitely having an infarction. His torso felt too tight. His breath sawed in and out of his chest. That was Holly. Her hair had come out of its ponytail, and her skin was pale.
The truck stopped, and Caleb threw the door open. His boots hit the pavement, and he ran.
“Caleb?” Holly stopped and put a hand over her eyes as though trying to figure out who was coming toward her.
He didn’t bother to answer. He simply got to her as fast as he could. “What happened?”
Her gorgeous green eyes went wide. It took everything he had not to take her in his arms. “Caleb, I am so sorry.”
“The truck?” He reached out and took her hand, turning it over, checking her.
Tears filled her eyes. “Something was wrong with the brakes. I had to use the truck escape ramp. Oh, Caleb, I probably ruined your transmission. I had to shove it into a low gear when the speed got to almost a hundred. I am so sorry.”
The brakes had gone out? On this road? He’d just had that truck serviced. How the hell had they missed that? He didn’t stop his instinct now. He pulled her close, crushing her against him. “Are you all right?”
“Sort of.”
He heard her sniffle, and then she softened against him. He held her while she cried. No. He couldn’t leave Bliss. But he was starting to think he couldn’t let her go, either.
Chapter Six
Alexei stared down at the beer in front of him. It was almost empty. Pretty much like his job prospects. Who the hell would want to hire a man who’d spent the majority of his adult life in the mob? He had exactly twenty thousand dollars in an American account. It wouldn’t last long. Caleb hated him. He didn’t have a job. Had he made a terrible mistake in coming back to Bliss? The last thing he wanted was to end up on Holly’s couch with her supporting his lazy ass.
He looked around the small tavern. People were just starting to drift in. His Marshals were sitting in a booth. They hadn’t tried to talk to him, merely nodded his way, though Jessie’s eyes strayed to him every now and then. He almost felt uncomfortable under her stare. He hoped they would give up soon and leave.