Her heels hit the pavement. She immediately put her hands up, cradling his face. “Please don’t. Alexei, I want you. I want the real you. Spank me. I’ll take it. I want the freaky you who can’t speak English and isn’t sure how to deal with American women. I want that Alexei. And I want Caleb, who’s too much of a dumbass to know he wants more than sex.”
He did. He wouldn’t be standing there with that sad-sack look on his face if he didn’t. He would have walked away. Was her insecurity worth more than their feelings, their affection? Maybe it would fall apart. Maybe they would each find someone else—but tonight they wanted her. What did it make her if she didn’t even try?
A coward.
Tears pricked at her eyes. “I want you, Alexei.”
His whole stance softened, as though her words had power over his physical state. “I want you, Holly. I’ve dreamed of you. I’ve longed for you.”
She couldn’t fucking ask for more than that. What was she doing? She’d asked the question a thousand times since he’d walked back into her life. Why hadn’t she asked herself the question that mattered? Did she want him? God, yes. Was she brave enough to try?
She went on her tiptoes. “Forgive me.”
“Always, dushka. I will always forgive.” His hands threaded through her hair. “You will find me very forgiving.”
She touched her lips to his. “Thank you. I need to talk to Caleb.”
His lips curved up. “Yes. Bring him home.”
She turned, Alexei’s strength uplifting her own. She was through letting Scott and his family win. She was through allowing the past to rob her of her future. She was scared. She was out of her mind scared, but she couldn’t leave Caleb standing there. She couldn’t.
Heels grinding into the gravel, she walked toward him. His face was frozen in a blank stare as though he would accept whatever she offered him. It hurt her heart. She’d probably had that expression a thousand times. Maybe she understood Caleb better than she thought.
She came to a stop in front of him, staring at his gorgeous face. He was male-model beautiful, and he wanted her. Maybe he just wanted her for sex, but it was more than he seemed to want from anyone else. It struck her suddenly that she couldn’t control him. She could only give what she was willing and pray it was enough.
There was something lovely and amazing about that.
She was jumping off a cliff and hoping that he would catch her. If he didn’t, she would fall, but at least she would have tried. She wouldn’t regret the attempt. She would regret never trying.
She held out her hand. “Caleb, please come home with us.”
She used “us” because that was what she wanted. She wanted Caleb and Alexei. She wanted a weird little family. She’d told herself she just wanted Alexei for a hot affair, but she threw that notion to the wind. She wanted him forever. She wanted both of them. She might not get them, but damn, it wouldn’t be because she hadn’t tried.
“I’m not good at relationships.” Caleb’s eyes found the ground beneath his feet.
“I have a divorce under my belt and nothing serious since. I’ve had two lovers my whole life, Caleb, and one of them was a drunken hookup with my high school lab partner. I don’t know anything about this except the fact that I want you. I want Alexei, too. I want you both. I might not be any good at this, but I want to try.”
His eyes softened. “You can’t believe that.”
“I do. Caleb, I haven’t had a relationship with any man since I got divorced, and to tell you the truth, I don’t think I was very good at sex. My own husband didn’t want me.” He’d wanted just about everyone else. Secretaries. Nannies. Hotel maids. Never his own wife for the last three years of their marriage.
He reached out for her hand, his callused fingers sliding against her own. “You’re wrong. You’re so fucking gorgeous, Holly. I want you so bad I ache with it.”
“I want you, too, dushka. I need you.” Alexei was suddenly behind her, his heat sinking into her body. His hands found her hips. “Let us take you home. Let us show you how we feel.”
She leaned back against him, her eyes still on Caleb. “Please, Caleb.”
He moved forward, his body crowding hers. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Never knowing what it felt like to be between these two men would hurt her. “Caleb, if we don’t even try, I’ll regret it. I want you. It has to be enough for now.”
His mouth was so close. “I’ll try, but I’m damaged, Holly. I’m not whole, and there’s nothing you can do to fix me.”
She would see about that. “Kiss me.”
“I can do that.” Caleb leaned forward, and his lips met hers, gently exploring. His hands moved from his sides and found her hips. His tongue teased out, licking at her lips before she opened and allowed him in.
Strong hands reached from behind and boldly cupped her breasts. Her nipples immediately sprang to life as Alexei’s fingers brushed them. His body pressed against her back while Caleb’s pushed at her front. She was caught in between them, neither giving her an inch of space. She could feel two hard cocks straining. Caleb’s pressed against her belly. Alexei rubbed his along the small of her back. He leaned over and nuzzled her ear, his hot breath causing her to shiver. His tongue played along the shell of her ear, and he murmured low, sexy words in Russian.
“What does that mean?” Holly asked when Caleb finally let her mouth go to explore the skin of her neck, kissing and nipping her flesh.
“Let me translate for our Russian comrade,” Caleb offered. He pulled her hips to his and stared down at her chest. There wasn’t any hesitation left in Caleb’s eyes. Those green eyes were predatory now. He wanted her, and he would have her. She could feel it.
“Please do.” Alexei chuckled. His hands cupped the undersides of her breasts and pushed them up as though offering them to Caleb.
“He says he wants to fuck. He says you’re the sexiest woman he’s ever seen, and he can’t wait to get inside you. He wants to shove his cock deep inside that pussy of yours, and he never wants to leave. He’ll just live there. He won’t want to eat or drink or even breathe. He’ll just fuck you for the rest of his life.”
“He is right, dushka. I take back all thoughts that Caleb would be bad translator. He is very good. Now let me tell you what he is thinking. He is wondering why he waited so long. He’s wanting you from the moment he lay his eyes on you, and he can’t stand the thought of going one more day without being with you.”
“You’re not a bad mind reader, Alexei.” Caleb sank his hand into her hair. “Are you sure you want this? I don’t think I’ll be able to stop if we go much further. Two men can be demanding, Holly. If you want to take this slow, tell us now, and we’ll back off and go at whatever pace you want.”
It was obvious to Holly that Caleb needed a firm hand. “I want it, Caleb. Take me home and make love to me now.”
“Yes, take her home,” a deep voice shouted.
Holly came out of her haze and realized they were standing just outside of Trio. The lights from the tavern spilled out into the twilight, and Nate Wright stood by the door, his big, authoritative presence a reminder to her they weren’t alone. And that her nipples were probably showing.
Maybe Caleb was right about the dress.
Caleb pulled her forward, pressing her chest into his, protecting her from embarrassment. Alexei slipped from behind her and stepped forward. Holly noticed the sheriff wasn’t the only one looking at them. There were at least ten faces pressed against the glass, looking out at the action.
Nosy busybodies. Including her best friend, who gave her a big thumbs-up. She giggled against Caleb’s chest, her embarrassment rushing away. They would gossip in Bliss. The whole town ran on it, but they would be happy for her, too. No one would look down on her. They would cheer her on.