Nicky had told her a long time before that he thought he was gay. He’d known when he was just a kid, and no matter how much football his father made him play, he couldn’t help the fact that he preferred boys. Holly could still remember the night he’d told her. He’d cried because her big response had been to ask if he had a boyfriend. Why couldn’t Scott have been the same way?
Alexei ran his nose through her hair, the sensation making her shiver with pleasure. She loved how deeply affectionate he was. “I do not know, dushka. He seem to be very happy.”
She threaded her fingers through his. “He wouldn’t talk about it. He just wanted to talk about finishing school online and where he’s going to go to college. How am I going to send him to college? I don’t even have a savings account. I’ve lived hand-to-mouth forever.”
Because she hadn’t really tried. She’d spent the last eight years just getting by. She loved Stella, but did she really want to waitress for the rest of her life?
He squeezed her close. “Do not to worry. We will deal with all things. We will find a way.”
He was so stinking good to her. She couldn’t argue with him. She couldn’t point out that he didn’t have a job and hers didn’t pay well. They weren’t exactly a power couple.
“I have to be going. I will make rounds in Bliss and then perhaps move on to Creede if no one is hiring here.” He kissed her forehead. “Don’t forget you have to see Caleb today. He will expect you in his office at noon. Do not to be late.”
Caleb wanted to shave her and prepare her ass for anal sex. Or did he? He’d seemed pretty freaked out. She wasn’t sure if he was just anxious about the relationship or if the idea that she might have a son living with her made him rethink everything. She wouldn’t blame him. It was causing her to rethink. “I don’t know if that’s still on.”
Alexei slapped her ass, the sharp pain making her shriek just a little. “You will go. Do not to be disappointing me. He stayed. He did not leave until morning. He stay on couch, but it’s progress. So go.”
Maybe. But she also had a kid to think about. “I’ll talk to him.”
Alexei stepped back and grabbed her keys off the kitchen table. “You will obey him or deal with me.” He winked, but there was no way she could miss the command in his voice. “I take car. Is okay? Caleb walked back to town. When do you need to be at work?”
“I’m off today. Feel free to take the car. If I need anything, I can get Laura to take me to town.”
“Or I could do it.” Nicky stood in the doorway dressed in a T-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. He looked younger than his seventeen years. Her heart threatened to break. He was so young and so precious to her. She couldn’t fail him.
Alexei leaned back in, but she moved away. She couldn’t make out with her boyfriend in front of her son. Alexei’s eyes darkened, but he stepped back. “We will talk about that later, dushka. Good-bye, Nick. I will be looking forward to seeing you later. Take care of your mother.”
“Always.”
Alexei left, waving a little good-bye, and she was alone with her son.
“Don’t you dare do this to me.” Nicky crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her, a little rage in his eyes.
God. She’d already made him uncomfortable. What had she expected? He’d come looking for his mom and found her with two men. It was normal in Bliss, but Nicky hadn’t grown up here. What must he think of her? Tears blurred her eyes. Just as she found some small measure of happiness, she was going to have to give it up because her son came first. “I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry about it, baby. This is your home. I won’t have you uncomfortable.”
“And you don’t understand me. I wasn’t telling you to dump your ungodly hot boyfriend. Seriously? I need to go to Russia because OMG, that is so hot. And Red is weird, but totally hot in a geek-chic, I’ve-got-PTSD way.” Nicky shook his head and walked to her. “I didn’t come here to wreck your life. I came here to be with my mom.”
Every word seemed to cut through her. “And I should focus on you.”
Nicky’s hands came up in frustration. He had some of his father’s coloring, but she could see her dad in Nicky’s eyes. He had that same expression her father had always had when he thought she was doing something dumb. “No, you shouldn’t focus on me. You should be happy. What have you always told me you wanted for me? When Dad was putting me through every honors class and pushing me to achieve, what did you want for me?”
Nicky had been under so much pressure to be perfect. “I wanted you to be happy.”
“You said happiness was the only thing that really mattered. You told me to be true to who I am and what I want. To be kind to those around me and to love—to really love. Don’t you dare think I want less for you. I will be so mad if you break up with those gods of masculinity because you think I don’t know what sex is.”
Maybe he was more mature than she’d thought. She touched his face. God, she remembered how small he’d been, how he’d clung to her like a little monkey. He’d been such a sweet child, and he was almost a man. She’d missed him. “I wish I’d been with you.”
He softened. “You were, Mom. We talked every day. I never stopped hearing your voice in my head. I never thought for one second that you didn’t love me. You just picked the wrong man to marry.”
“I am going to kill your father. He had no right to do this to you.” She felt her fists clench.
“Don’t. Mom, please, don’t call him. It’s over, and I’m cool with it. I’m good. I just want to move on.” He hugged her. “He wasn’t all bad, you know. I know he was a horrible husband. Still is, by the way, but he wasn’t a terrible dad.”
“How can you say that? You came out to him, and he kicked you out.”
“I’m not surprised. I kind of was hoping he would. Mom, I went into that room knowing he would probably do it. I’m a campaign liability. I’m good with this. Let it be. Come on. I have one year and then I’m off to college, and I don’t want you to worry about that, either. I want to enjoy this year with my mom. Can we do that?”
She nodded. “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I really care about Alexei and Caleb, but I know it’s weird. I think a lot of people would think raising a teen around a ménage relationship would be wrong.”
“Yeah, well raising a kid around politics is way worse. Trust me—all the backstabbing and double-dealing has warped me way worse than your crazy sex stuff ever will. Don’t worry, Mom. According to Gaga, you were just born this way. And we should all listen to Gaga.” He grinned and walked around the living room. He picked up something that had fallen behind the couch. “But seriously, they’re slobs. We have to work on that.”
Two pairs of underwear. Alexei’s and Caleb’s boxers. Embarrassment flashed through her. She was beyond happy that Nicky was okay with her relationship, but she didn’t want to push it in his face. She grabbed the undies from him. “I’ll make sure to note your preferences.”
He laughed as he looked around the cabin. She was well aware it wasn’t anything like the estate he’d grown up on. He simply straightened up the pile of magazines on the end table. “Good. And I’ll get ready for breakfast. Take me into town. Show me around. I want to see everything, starting with where you work. I have two weeks before I have to start sending in assignments. And before you freak out, I left all the information on the table. It’s a perfectly licensed school. Every college will accept the transcripts. It’s in California, but I can send everything in remotely, and my teachers will do conferences and lectures over the Internet.”
He’d figured it all out. She was beginning to be intimidated by her son’s competence. She played with the pamphlets he’d left. “I’ll look into it.”