Caleb glanced back where Mel was hugging Cassidy’s small body to his, his lips kissing her forehead. “She doesn’t need to be in a home. She just needs a little understanding.”
“Yes, and you’re the only doctor who is willing to give it to her. Those two are happy because Bliss lets them be. Why can’t you be the same?”
Frustration welled up. “Damn it, Wolf. I can’t even sleep in a fucking bed. How is Holly going to handle it when I fuck her and then go sleep in her closet because I can’t stand to sleep in the open?”
Wolf’s dark eyes turned soft. His hand came out with a brotherly pat. “You’ll tell her why, and she’ll snuggle with you after finding another home for her shoes. It’s not Holly’s reaction you’re afraid of. It’s yours. You can’t go on like this forever.”
“Sure, I can.” He could foresee many years of misery. Unchecked and unbroken. Yep. He could be lonely forever.
“Like I said, frustrating.” Wolf took a step back. “If you ever want to talk…”
“Since when do I talk?” Caleb replied sarcastically.
One perfect day on the ice was the last time he’d sat and talked about anything beyond medicine and forensic reports. He’d had to talk about autopsies way too much lately. But that one day had been nice. He’d played hockey with the Farley brothers and gotten to know a guy from Russia. They had talked about their families, mostly their brothers. He’d really talked to that man. Of course, his newfound friend hadn’t bothered to mention that he was a member of the mob in town to cause trouble. For some reason, Caleb had relaxed around that guy. The same guy who was literally waltzing off with his woman. Alexei had moved Holly to the dance floor where he was putting his enormously oversized paws all over her.
“All right, then,” Wolf said, concession obvious in the slump of his shoulders. “Well, thanks for helping out with my mom. I promise to bring her by once a week. Hey, maybe if you convince her I’m taking the shots, too, she’ll stop trying to feed me beets.”
Caleb grinned. He only owed Wolf so much. “Nope. I’m afraid this doesn’t work on your alien DNA. And I’m the one who gave her the recipe for tofu and beets. And the beet smoothie.”
Wolf’s frown made his whole face turn to granite. “You son of a bitch. Do you know how horrible that was? And I had purple teeth for days from that smoothie. Asshole. This is how you treat the man who saved your life?”
“I’m just looking out for your alien DNA, man.” And he liked fucking with Wolf. It made him feel almost normal.
He walked back to Cassidy, gave her a shot in her left butt cheek because that was just what he did at a wedding, and packed his bag up. He looked out at the dance floor.
Holly swayed in Alexei’s arms, her gorgeous body moving with grace as he led her around. Caleb’s hands tightened into fists at his sides. Why the hell did Alexei deserve her? And what was he going to do about it? He strode out of the room before he did something he would deeply regret, like attack a man at Stefan Talbot’s wedding. He’d given an oath to do no harm, but he really wanted to harm that asshole. He stalked down the hall. He needed to think. His brain was running a hundred different directions, every single one of them leading to a path of rejection and humiliation.
The halls were deserted, thankfully. Everyone was in the ballroom having a great time. He could hear the music, the chatter, the clinking of glasses. It was all at a distance, but then everything was. At a distance. He was on the outside, staring in at the life that happened to everyone but him. He couldn’t blame anyone but himself. He’d wrapped himself in a hundred different walls, building them so fast and so high that he would never break them down.
But suddenly he wanted to. Because he wanted Holly. He’d wanted her the moment he’d seen her. He’d spent the last year of his life watching her at Stella’s. It had almost been a relief when a serial killer had come to town. He’d had a reason to get close to her that he couldn’t deny. He’d been able to stay near her for days.
And he’d talked to her. Or rather, he’d listened. He’d taken her with him on his rounds. He was a country doctor now, and that meant driving from place to place, practicing in unorthodox ways. Holly had been a sympathetic helper. She hadn’t flinched when he’d lanced a boil or vaccinated screaming babies. She’d held the man’s hand and sang to the babies to get them to calm down. She’d been curious and quick to learn. She was a natural nurse, and he’d been a better doctor for having her around. It had felt so good to have her next to him in the cab of his truck.
Why the fuck was he walking away?
He needed to think. He needed someplace small where he could think. He hated it, but when he needed to clear his head, he needed a closet, someplace tight where he didn’t have to worry about his back. He spied the supply closet.
He was just about to open it when he heard the moans.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Doc. Not unless you want a spectacular view of Rafe and Cam’s junk in use.”
Caleb turned and saw Rye Harper leaning against the wall with a teasing smile on his face. The cowboy had a tux on, but he’d ditched his tie, and there was a Stetson on his head. “Why are Rafe and Cam showing each other their junk in a…oh. Laura’s in there with them.”
Laura Niles, Rafe Kincaid, and Cameron Briggs were Bliss’s latest trio. They’d only been together for a short time, but they seemed to be getting into the groove.
“And Max, Rach, and me have dibs on that closet. We talked Stella into watching Paige for a little while. Do you have any idea how hard it is to doubly penetrate a woman with a baby monitor that goes off every ten minutes? Seriously. It’s not as easy as it sounds.”
Rye leaned in and pounded on the door. “Hey, you’ve been at it forever. Give a fellow a chance!”
There was a muffled shriek, and then a masculine voice shouted back. “Screw you, Harper! Find your own closet.”
Rye frowned. “Fine. Dibs on the coat closet.”
Rye turned and ran toward the closet down the hall.
Caleb sighed. Maybe a walk would do him a little good. He forced himself to go for a run outside every day. In the beginning, he’d barely been able to walk from the car to the house, but now he did it all the time. He even fished regularly. It was only on occasion that the panic hit him. Yes. He needed a walk.
Maybe then he could figure out how to deal with his heartache.
Alexei Markov settled his hand on Holly’s waist with a deep sense of satisfaction. She was here. He was here. No one was going to arrest them. He knew it was an odd worry, but he’d had to worry about being arrested for so long that being able to not worry about it was freeing. No cops would come between them. Just one cranky doctor, but he had a plan for dealing with him. Yes, Alexei Markov was a damn lucky man. He’d come through hell with only a few scars.
Bliss had given him back his life.
“Have you healed up? The last time I saw you, you were still in pretty bad shape.” Holly looked down at his torso where a bullet had torn through his gut.
“I find life is perfectly fine without a spleen.”
Caleb had been forced to remove it and resection a part of his bowel. Caleb Burke had stayed with him through the first terrible moments all the way through the operating room. It had been Caleb’s hands that held him together. It had been Caleb’s cranky voice that had told him he better live.
Alexei pulled her close. Dancing was just a way to get a woman close to a man. He was deeply grateful for whoever decided to have a band and dancing at this wedding. It gave him a brilliant excuse to do what he’d always wanted to do—rub himself all over her.