She checked the library and the other parts of the mansion, but she couldn’t find him. The Mercedes he’d been driving all month was still in the garage. He changed cars like she changed earrings. She hated to disturb him in his private rooms, but she needed to see the crosses. She walked upstairs to the far end of the third floor where his bedroom and study were located. She knew this because Fergus had once asked her to deliver a document to Nathan. He wasn’t in the study, but the small velvet bag that held the crosses lay on top of his desk. The moment she picked up the bag, she heard gasping from Nathan’s bedroom next door. It sounded like someone was choking. She shoved the bag into her pocket and hurried to his room. She rapped against the heavy wood, but he didn’t answer. The gasping continued.
“Nathan? Are you OK?” Worried, Kendall turned the knob and the door opened. Nathan thrashed on the bed, body straining as if he had been chained, eyes closed. Kendall hurried to him, leaned down, and touched his arm. “Nathan, wake up!”
His eyes flew open. This close, the amber looked like a flame. She started to jump back, but he grabbed her arm. Trapped, she stared into his eyes, apprehensive, yet mesmerized by the glow. It was beautiful. His head moved closer, and she wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss her or bite her. “Nathan,” she whispered, “let me go.”
“Kendall?” He dropped her arm and quickly sat up.
There was enough light from the hall to see that he had a tattoo on one shoulder. Nathan with a tattoo? That was almost as shocking as his glowing eyes. And it was obvious that he slept naked. She averted her gaze as he pulled the sheet higher.
“I’m sorry you saw that.” He was still breathing hard, but his eyes were normal now.
“I wouldn’t have come in, but I thought you were choking. I’ll leave.”
“Don’t go.” He reached for her but drew his hand back, clutching the sheet instead.
She didn’t leave, but she did take a step away from the bed. “What is it like when it happens? Does it hurt?”
He rubbed his tattooed shoulder as if he were cold. “Some. It feels like an animal is inside, trying to get out.”
“You’re not an animal.”
“Is that one of your hunches?”
The question might have been sarcastic except for the desperate hope in his eyes. She knew Nathan trusted her sixth sense, even more than she did at times. “It’s common sense. You’re not… bad. You’ve never hurt anyone.”
“I did at the castle.”
“That was self-defense. You had to.”
“I think I hurt someone before, when I was a kid. I can’t remember my childhood, but I have this dream. I’m young. There’s a man with me. He’s injured, bleeding. Dying, then the dream stops. I can’t remember anything before or after. But I feel as if it’s my fault he died.” His British accent wasn’t strong, but it was more pronounced when he was tired.
“I’m sure it wasn’t, if you were just a kid. You don’t know the man?”
“I should, but I don’t. It’s frustrating.”
“You don’t remember anything about your childhood? Your mother, your father?”
“No. My mother died when I was a baby.”
Just like hers. And Adam’s. That might be a clue.
“My father died later,” Nathan said. “I don’t remember him. Sometimes I get glimpses, not even a face, just a feeling.”
She knew that sensation well. “How did he die?” She didn’t want to ask if it had been in a plane crash. Her suspicions felt ridiculous, but Marco had looked right at Nathan and Jake when he said he saw Adam.
“He was in some kind of witness protection program, but he was killed.”
That didn’t sound like Adam. Could Uncle John have been in witness protection? Maybe she should be looking at Jake, not Nathan. “I had no idea.” She was stunned that they were actually discussing it now. She had thought he just didn’t want to talk about it with her. “Fergus has been with you since you were a boy, hasn’t he?”
Nathan nodded. “He’s been like a father to me.”
“It must be hard to not remember anything.” Her memories were wonderful and painful, but they were hers.
The look he gave her was far from the usual serious stare. There was hurt behind his eyes. “It’s empty. But maybe it’s best. I might be forgetting something I wouldn’t want to remember.”
“Cozy,” a hard voice said. Jake stood in the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets, face tight.
“What’re you doing here?” Nathan asked. He started to get up, then looked at his sheet and stopped.
“Not having as much fun as you.”
“We weren’t doing anything.” Nathan scowled. “What do you want?”
“Hank’s looking for you. He said it’s important. Looked like the veins in his neck might explode.”
“Bloody hell. I’m late. I need to get dressed.” He slid to the edge of the bed.
“I’m going to my apartment,” Kendall said. “I haven’t been since we got back.”
“Fine,” Nathan said, starting to rise.
Jake took Kendall’s arm and pulled her from the room. He shut the door firmly behind them. “Now I know why you’ve been avoiding me. You’re in bed with the boss.”
Kendall slapped his arm. “Sometimes I want to hit you.”
“You just did.”
“I want to hit you harder. There’s nothing going on between Nathan and me, and if there were, it’s none of your business.”
“You slept with me. Maybe it’s a guy thing, but that feels like it makes it my business.”
“You make it sound as if we had sex. I slept in your bed out of necessity, not choice.” Kendall stalked off toward her room without looking back. She was going to go home and get away from men for a while. Good-looking ones, mysterious ones, evil ones. She was tired of them all.
She was surprised Nathan hadn’t told her not to leave since he’d been so insistent that they stay here until now. After all, as he kept reminding her when they’d first returned from Italy and she insisted she needed to go home, the Reaper was still alive, and he still wanted the Spear of Destiny, and there had been several attempts to kill or kidnap her.
As she drove the winding road toward Charlottesville, she kept thinking about her conversation with Nathan. They’d never talked about their childhoods, and now that they had, she felt even more connected to him. But how could he be Adam if his father was in a witness protection program? Uncle John hadn’t been in a program. Had he? She had been just a kid. They wouldn’t have told her if he had. But Adam would have told her. Maybe Adam hadn’t known. Or maybe she was an idiot and Nathan had absolutely no connection to Adam. Marco was just an old man with a wandering mind.
She stopped at the ATM to get cash and then found a sporting goods store to replace her flashlight and thermal blanket. When she got out of the car to go inside, she felt the bag in her pocket. The crosses. She had forgotten about them. Occasionally, she took objects home to study, but Nathan always knew beforehand. She stuck the crosses in her purse. When she got back to the mansion she would return them. In the meantime, this was a perfect opportunity to see if she could discover the secrets they were hiding.
After fighting traffic and getting stuck behind an accident, she drove toward her apartment, which was in a nice, upscale area. Not as upscale as Nathan’s estate in Albemarle County. He was hiding in a place where everyone had money. Old money, new money, inherited money, but money, and lots of it. His mansion and gated entrance didn’t stand out so much among all the fancy horse farms and vineyards.
Kendall parked her Volkswagen in front of her brick, Tudor-style building. It was nice and quiet. Most of the tenants were old. Kendall was rarely here except to sleep or pick up a change of clothing. More often than not, she ended up staying at the mansion.