And I can’t help but think my brother got a hell of a lot smarter all of a sudden. I wonder what else there is about him that I don’t know.
We stand at the bottom of the stairs, Charlotte’s eyes practically as big as the building in front of us. People are all around like they always are, sitting on the steps, walking on the street, and taking pictures. I try to see it through her eyes, for the first time with the oversized pillars and the intricate artwork on the upper ledge of the building, but I can’t really do it. Instead I just want to watch her soak it all in. Watch her and wonder what’s happened since I saw her last and then I get a little annoyed at myself for caring.
“It’s so…big.” Charlotte smiles and I can’t help but laugh.
“Yeah, you can say that.” Then we’re quiet and she’s still soaking it in. “It’s one of my favorite buildings in the city,” I tell her.
Charlotte turns to face me. “It is?”
“Yep.”
“I didn’t know that. Though why would I? It’s not like I know everything about you.”
She knows more than anyone else. “I don’t know everything about you, either.”
“Yes, you do.” Her answer is quick. “As much as someone can know about someone else.” Her words spark all kinds of questions, confusion and a little bit of anger. As if she can sense it, Charlotte changes the subject. “What’s your favorite part about it?”
“The small details.” I point to the top. “It’s simple in a way, not over done like a lot of buildings are, but it has those little pieces to it, those little extras that make it special.”
“Buildings are like your stars. I knew, but I’ve never seen it before.” There’s awe in her voice and in her green eyes that I don’t see or hear from anyone else.
“Yeah… I guess you can say that.”
“Can we go in?” she asks and I suddenly can’t wait to show it to her.
“Come on.” Reflex makes me reach for her hand, but I jerk back before I touch her. If she notices, she doesn’t say anything.
We go inside and Charlotte looks even more amazed than she did standing at the bottom of the stairs. Pictures are on the walls and pieces displayed everywhere. Charlotte leads the way; excited in a way I don’t remember seeing when we were at The Village. It’s a different part of her here, one who is more unsure than she was at home, but eager and anxious to figure it all out.
You wouldn’t think so, but it’s kind of hot. It surprises me that as many times as I’ve seen her and everything we’ve experienced together that there is so much more out there to do.
“Don’t they do lectures and stuff like that too?” she asks.
“For sure. Wanna go to one?”
“Oh my God! Yes!” She moves like she’s going to hug me, but just like I did with her hand earlier, she pulls back.
I just want to put it out there. Ask what the fuck happened to us and how we can get it back.
“Are we going or what?” She smirks, breaking the ice.
To hell with it. Putting my arm around her shoulders, I say, “I don’t remember you being this pushy… Oh, wait. That’s a lie. I do.”
“Nate!” Charlotte tries to pull away, pretending she’s mad, but I hold onto her and keep her close.
“It’s a good thing to always tell the truth, right?” I tease again.
Charlotte crosses her arms. “I don’t remember you being so mean. Oh, wait. Yeah I do.”
We laugh as we keep walking and then we’re not laughing and her head’s on my shoulder and all I can think is it feels like it did at the beginning of every summer. Like it always has. Fuck, I missed this girl.
“So...how ‘bout that Eros, huh?”
Charlotte rolls her eyes.
“You have to admit it’s kind of crazy. I definitely didn’t expect a lecture on Eros, God of Love.” Though maybe I should have.
The sun burns my eyes when we step outside again.
“Why not? What’s wrong with it?”
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it. Did you like it?”
Charlotte stops and looks at me, into me. “I loved it.”
What is it about her that turns me so inside out? My hands itch to grab her, to pull her to me and kiss her and talk the way I only do with her. “I’m glad.”
“Nate—”
“—Come on. I’ll get you back to your hotel.”
Charlotte nods.
“Subways are so cool,” she says as we sit inside.
That makes me laugh. “If you say so. I’m sure most of us could think of a few other words for them.”
Charlotte watches everyone, her eyes never staying still for very long. I have to remind her to get off when it’s our stop. Her hotel isn’t a long walk from the subway, and when we get there, I pause her before she goes inside.
“If Alec is here, it’s probably not a good idea if I go up there.” It’s not a good idea regardless.
Sadness dims her eyes. “Nate… I need to know you believe me. Alec doesn’t like me like that and even if he did…it’s never been him for me. It never will be.”
I’m not sure if it’s smart, but my reply is automatic and honest. “I do. I believe you. It doesn’t mean I’m not pissed, because I am. I wish you could trust me with the truth.”
“I do. You know I trust you with everything. It’s just not my truth to tell.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I deserve some answers.” She opens her mouth to reply, but I continue. “I’m not trying to fight with you. I’m here, Charlotte. That means something. Today was…”
“Perfect,” she fills in the blank.
It wasn’t. I know that and she knows that, but I can’t deny her reply either. It’s like that with us. Imperfections are still perfect. Just being with her is.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, okay? We’ll do Times Square.”
Charlotte replies with a nod.
I wonder why I haven’t told her I’m going to Columbia. That we’ll only be an hour and a half train ride from each other. Reaching out, I touch her hair. “I’m glad you’re here, Star Girl.”
Pulling my hand back, I turn and walk away.
I’m exhausted from taking the train into the city again. I don’t know how Dad does it, but it’s worth it because I still can’t believe Charlotte is here.
She’s waiting outside her hotel when I get there. I have to do a double take because, standing there, she looks more like the Charlotte I remember than she did yesterday. For the first time, I see her legs again, all smooth and tanned in the jean shorts she’s wearing.
And a tank top. I love her tank tops. It’s yellow just like the swimming suit from the first summer and the bikinis from our second and third. It’s a stupid thing to remember. I’d probably be embarrassed if it was anyone but her.
“Hey.”
She’s smiling so big that it takes everything inside me not to kiss her.
“Hi.”
“You ready?” I ask.
“Yep.”
We take another subway ride and walk to Times Square.
I almost never come here. If people think the city is busy, they've never visited Times Square. Tourists everywhere and so many people it’s almost impossible to breathe.
“Holy crap, it’s crazy here.” Her voice is a little unsure, so I grab her hand.
“I got you. You have to learn to shove your way through.”
I make way for both of us as we work through the throng of people. It’s loud and there are lights everywhere even though it’s daytime. I should have taken her at night, so she could see even better how it lit up. I don’t know why I didn’t think about that.
We watch the screens and go into shops and stores. Charlotte asks questions, reminding me how she likes to know so much about everything. And still, we’ve hardly seen half of it.