“How far is Central Park?” she asks.
“You wanna go? We can. That’s why I came early today. There’s still stuff to see here, too.” It’s only noon right now so we have some time.
“I’ve always wanted to see Central Park,” she says.
I didn’t know that about her. “Yeah. Let’s do it. We won’t be able to see the whole thing, but we have some time.”
We head toward Central Park. The whole time I’m wondering if she thinks some parts of it will remind her of home. If that’s why she wants to see it so badly.
When we get there, we grab some food at a little stand before walking into one of the huge grassy areas. We sit on the ground and she crosses her legs, taking a bite of her sandwich. “I think I could live here,” she finally says.
“You’re going to in a couple months, right?” It’s still crazy for me to think about.
“Yeah, but I mean here. In the park. It’s amazing, Nate.”
“Eh. Probably not a good idea to live here, but you’re going to freak out when you see the rest of it.”
Charlotte watches a bike go by before saying. “Dad’s been paying me a little and I’ve done some odd jobs. I’ve been saving up since last summer for this trip. Well, I guess I didn’t know what it was for at the time, but I was putting money away for something. I can’t believe I’m really here.”
“I can’t believe you are, either. How’d it all come about? Going to school here and stuff?”
She sets her sandwich down and lies down on her back. “I wish it was nighttime. Most of our talks are under the stars.”
I don’t know what makes me do it, but I lay down next to her, leaning on my elbow. “Close your eyes and pretend.” Lightly I set my hand over her eyes. Her lashes brush my palm, so I pull away. It’s such a little thing, but I love how she trusts me, even in something as simple as this.
“I’m scared to mention it because everything came about after that night,” her voice whispers.
A fist tightens around my chest, but I ignore it. “You can tell me anything, Star Girl. You know that. That’s why I don’t understand—”
Her eyes jerk open. “It’s not me. I would tell you if it was.”
“So tell me the rest.”
She closes her eyes again. “I missed you so much, Nate. It was different than when you left all the other years. Even though I never really knew if you’d come back, I had hope. I was so scared you hated me.”
“I wanted to,” I can’t help but say. “I wanted to hate you, but I couldn’t. Then I was even more pissed at you because you still had this grip on me.”
“You had me too.”
The fist loosens slightly. “So what happened?”
“I started applying places. I was so mad at the world. I felt like I was being rebellious or something. I didn’t tell Dad or Alec or anyone. I wasn’t talking to Alec at all so it was just me and my secrets. It felt like it used to, when no one really knew how I felt. After I met you I always had someone I could tell anything to, but I was on my own again. I applied to LA and a few other places. I don’t know what made my try Vassar… Because it’s close, I guess? Not too far from home, but still somewhere new.”
“You knew you’d go?”
She opens her eyes and looks up at me. “Nope. I thought I’d never get out. I just needed to feel like I was doing something. Maybe I just wanted to pretend. It was after Dad met Nancy that I really started to think about it more, but I still didn’t see how it was possible.”
“You deserve your dreams, Star Girl.” I touch her hair and I know I need to stay away. We have too much history and now it’s bogged down with the last night we spent together, but I can’t stop myself from wanting her.
“I missed that name.”
“What happened next?” I ask, trying to find out everything about her year, but also putting some distance there.
“Dad happened… He just talked to me one day. He told me Alec’s parents were interested in becoming partners of The Village. They love it as much as we do and they’ve spent their lives there. At first I kind of freaked out because it’s ours. It’s our life.”
“And you felt guilty.”
Charlotte nods. “It was so hard, because then he started telling me how all he ever wanted was The Village and how it was his dream…but then he said he knew it wasn’t mine. He didn’t want to force it on me. If he deserved his dream, I deserved mine, right?”
That surprises the hell out of me. I never expected her dad to go there, but I don’t want to sound like an ass by saying it.
“Didn’t expect that one, did you?”
“You said it, not me.” I wink at her.
“He’d already talked to Alec’s parents and Nancy and they all had this plan worked out. He said it was happening regardless and that I deserve to live my life. They’re only doing summer and fall now. Nancy loves it there and loves to help, plus she helps take care of him. Add in Alec’s parents and…here I am. I’m still close enough to home that I can go back and help, but I’m free too.”
“You love The Village.” We both know she does. Getting out never meant she didn’t love it. “And Alec?” I don’t mean for my voice to be so tight when I ask about him.
A sad look takes over her face. “I want him to get out of there… I don’t know if he will yet. He needs it. All these years I thought I really knew him, Nate, but I didn’t. Not really. He—”
I groan and rub my hand over my face. “You’re killin’ me here.” It’s not something I like to admit, but I’ve always been jealous of him, their relationship and the times they had together.
“Not like that!” She sits up. “Shit, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that.”
“I have no right to care if it does.” I don’t like the words, but they need to be said.
“Maybe you don’t want to, but you do.”
“Char—”
She counters with, “Nathaniel.”
“You haven’t called me that in a while.”
“Maybe that will be what I call you when you piss me off.”
“What? What did I do?” I don’t know how the mood suddenly got so much lighter, but it did.
“You’re being a guy. I understand things like that so much better since I started hanging out with Danielle.”
That’s the first time I realize she really must not have talked to Alec for a while. That maybe she’d been almost as pissed at him as me.
“Let’s pretend we’re at The Village right now, okay?” Charlotte lies back down. “It’s like every other summer. Let’s just…talk.”
So we do. I tell her about Mom and the baby and she asks a lot of questions about Brandon. I manage to dodge the college question, but we catch up on everything else.
Its already almost evening time before I get her back to her hotel.
“You do realize I didn’t get to show you any of Central Park today, right?” I ask.
“It doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head.
An expression that says she still had a great day plays across her face, but I’m not ready to hear it. “I better go. I’ll pick you up tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
As soon as I round the corner, my cell phone beeps. Pulling it out of my pocket I see a text from Charlotte.
What we did was better
Maybe I am ready to hear it. Not sure what I plan to say when I get there, I turn around back around, take the corner and see that she’s gone.
I don’t go after her. Don’t reply. Just head back to the train and go home.
“Nate! Wake up!” Brandon grabs me, jerking me out of sleep.
My room is pitch black, but then the lamp from my bedside table flips on, the light stinging my eyes. “What the hell, man?”
“It’s Mom. She’s bleeding. A lot. We’re taking her to the hospital.”