I’m already out of bed before the last word leaves his mouth. I pull on the same jeans I wore today, which were on the floor, get a t-shirt from my drawer and then I’m right behind my brother, snagging my cell as I head out of my room. My shoes are already by the door so I shove my socked feet into them.
“Where are they?” I ask. My voice shakes. My hands are shaking.
“They just left. Dad caught me when I was getting up to go to the bathroom and told me. I saw her nightgown, Nate. It’s…”
Brandon doesn’t continue and he doesn’t have to. It’s bad. I can see it with one look at him. “Just drive. Let’s go.”
We climb into Brandon’s truck and he backs out.
“We got into an argument tonight,” Brandon rushes out.
“Why?”
“I guess it wasn’t really a fight, but she was upset… I told her I’m not sure I want to play football anymore.”
That catches my attention. “You love football.”
“I never said I didn’t. But it’s a lot of pressure. You don’t get it. You loved baseball, but it was never the same. You’re also a brainiac and everyone has always known you’re more than just sports.”
“What are you talking about, Brandon? Mom and Dad have never been like that. Hell, Dad couldn’t care less about sports.”
“Who said I was talking about them?” he says quietly.
Every time I talk to Brandon lately, it’s like he has another surprise for me. Another secret I don’t know about him. Does he really think he’s not more than football?
“If you don’t wanna play ball, don’t. You have to live your own life.”
Brandon sighs. “Easier said than done, bro. And I don’t know for sure. I just…never mind. Mom is what matters right now."
“It’s not your fault.” I’m not sure why I say that. “The fight. If…”
I feel Brandon’s eyes on me. “Thanks, man.”
We don’t talk after that. I hold my phone in my hand the whole way to the hospital. While Brandon is parking I stop fighting the urge to text Charlotte.
Might not be there 2morrow. At the hospital with Mom. Bleeding.
It doesn’t matter that it’s two in the morning, Charlotte replies quickly.
What hospital? I’ll be right there.
A deep breath pushes out of my lungs. I should have known she’d give me exactly what I didn’t know I needed.
They’re in the room for an hour before Dad comes out. His face is pale as he sits down next to Brandon and I. “They’ve slowed the bleeding down, which is good. They also did an ultrasound to check on the baby; he’s doing okay for now. Still has a heartbeat and everything.”
“He?” Brandon asks. They’d decided they weren’t going to find out what they were having, but I guess this changed things.
At that, Dad smiles. “Three boys. How lucky are we?”
I lean back in the chair, studying Dad. It’s not like I never knew he loved us or I ever felt mistreated or anything. He has just always been…busy. Even when he would take summers off and we’d go to The Village, we have never been one of those families who eat together at night and plays games or whatever. We’ve all had our own lives, but looking at him now, I see how much we mean to him and how proud he is of us. It’s funny that I would feel closer to him now than I did when I was a kid, but maybe that’s how life worked sometimes.
“He’ll be okay, Dad. How could he not be? I mean, he’s cool enough to have me for a brother.”
Brandon punches me, but Dad laughs. “You guys are good kids. Your mother and I love you. Let’s keep Mom and your brother in your prayers, okay?”
The seriousness of the situation weighs heavily on us again. “She’s at twenty-four weeks now and that technically means the baby is viable.”
Viable? I don’t know why that word makes me nauseous. He says it like it’s a good thing, but, but it sounds so…cold.
“So they’d be okay if he comes early?” I ask.
Dad awkwardly adjusts his weight from one side to the other. “There are no promises, Nate. Obviously every day we can keep him in there safely is a good thing. He needs all the time he can to get strong. The odds of survival get better and better, but it’s still a tough road.”
Odds of survival. That’s hard to hear. I was freaked out when they told me they were having another baby, but now, I just want my little brother.
“Come here.” Dad gives us each a hug before saying, “We’ll be in the ER a little while longer, then they’re going to admit her to the labor and delivery department. They’re just waiting on a room. You guys can head home and we’ll call you—”
“—No. Not yet.”
Brandon nods his head in agreement.
He squeezes each of our shoulders again, before he disappears into the emergency room with Mom.
Another hour passes and then I hear another sliding door, this one coming from the entrance. My head shoots up and I see Charlotte standing there. I push to my feet to go to her, but then I see she didn’t come alone. Alec is standing right behind her.
My jaw tightens. My hands fist. I need her. I need her and she came here with him.
Alec’s eyes meet mine. They don’t linger on me long before they dart toward Brandon.
Charlotte moves to me. “Nate, is everything okay? How’s your mom?”
I know I should answer her. It shouldn’t matter that Alec’s here because Mom is in there bleeding, and her and my brother’s lives are in danger. But it still sucks. Still feels like someone pushing a knife into my gut.
Charlotte walks up toward me, steps so close. “He wanted to come for Brandon,” she whispers. “They’re…friends. Brandon means a lot to him, too.”
I lean against the wall, knowing she’s right. “I hate it, Charlotte,” I say softly. “Hate seeing him and knowing you’re still close to him, even though I shouldn’t. Things have changed and even if they hadn’t, now sure as hell isn’t the time for me to let it bother me. It’s just...I need you. I’m scared out of my mind here and even after all this time, you make things feel better, but he’s always there.”
She gets closer to me again. She steps between my slightly spread legs. Doesn’t hesitate. Just wraps her arms around my neck.
“I’m here. I’ll do whatever you need. I’ll always be here for you.”
As if they have a mind of their own, my hands rest on her waist. Like I’ve done so many times, I slip them under the bottom of her shirt, seeking skin. She buries her face in my neck. I don’t know where Brandon or Alec are. And I don’t care. “I’m scared, Star Girl. She wants this baby. What if something happens to my mom?”
“It won’t.”
We just stand there and hold each other. Her supporting me the way she’s always done. The way only she can. “Thanks for coming,” I finally tell her.
“You would have done the same thing for me. You have. You were the first one who told me I could get out of The Village, Nate. Even my mom who wanted out herself never told me I could leave. And when they did go, you helped me through it. You’re always there for me.”
“It’s a trade.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize how true they are. “You helped make me realize everything was okay after the Chrissy thing…and you’re here now.”
“So we’re two for two?” She laughs. “You were my answer that first summer, then me for you the second one.”
“I had the third summer and now you the fourth,” I finish. It’s amazing, I realize. Having that with someone. Having it with her.
She licks her lips, something she does when she wants me to kiss her. It’s another of those things I know about her that I hope no one else ever does. I lean forward, needing to feel my mouth on hers. Charlotte’s breath catches. I want to swallow each and every sound she makes. “I’m so freaked out right now. I just need something familiar. Can I kiss you?”