Once it’s all set up I scoot over and nod my head toward it. “Look.”
Nathaniel gets up on his knees; so super close to me that I swear I feel the heat from him. It’s like I’m sitting by the woodstove. Like I’m freezing and he’s giving me the warmth to keep me alive even though it’s a billion degrees out here and I know my thoughts make me sound like an idiot.
He looks through the scope and I watch, excitement burning in my insides because he’s going to get it. I know he is. He’s going to understand me in a way no one from The Village can. I hold my breath, wanting, needing, waiting, flying.
“Look like stars to me,” he says, leaning back, and I crash to the ground. My eyes prick with tears. I’m stupid. So stupid. Why did I think he would get it? Why do I want him to?
“Oh,” I say, those fairy wings replaced by little pins poking my skin.
The look on his face changes thing. His eyes crinkle and he removes his backward hat. “Show me what you see up there, Star Girl.”
My pulse stutters and then tries to catch up. “Really?”
Nathaniel shrugs. “Sure. Whatever.”
I’m not sure if it’s something he really wants, but he asked me and so I do. I start off easy and show him the big dipper. I move to Orion and Pegasus and on and on. I don’t know how interested he is, but he at least pretends to be. He asks questions and looks at each one and listens to me talk.
“So is it the scientific aspect you like?”
I almost say no, but change it to, “Both. It’s fascinating, but I also love the legends and stories. I like that it’s so…well, space and stars could be anything.”
“That’s cool,” Nathaniel replies.
When he first showed up, I thought that was one of my moments, but it has nothing on right now. How it feels to just sit back and talk about something I like without feeling guilty for it or like I’m some stupid kid. Dad doesn’t understand loving anything but The Village, Sadie only loves herself, and Mom just doesn’t get me. Alec would listen, but it’s different.
Soon we've abandoned the telescope, and we’re just talking about stars, and then The Village, and it feels different to talk to someone on the outside of everything. I don’t tell him how it feels like it’s suffocating me, but I wonder if he knows.
An hour and then two passes by. There’s a pause in the conversation and I realize I’ve been blabbing forever. That’s not me; especially not with someone I don’t really know. “Sorry. I talked a lot. You probably didn’t expect me to say so much.”
“I asked. Duh.” But he leans to the side and nudges me with his shoulder. “I’m kidding.”
“I better go,” I reply, even though I don’t really want to.
“Yeah. Me too.”
He helps me pack up the telescope and then stands. I move to get up and realize he was holding his hand out to help me, but I missed it. I’m glad it’s dark so he can’t see me blushing. “Sorry.”
Instead of replying, he says, “I’ll walk back with you.”
We’re quiet as we walk back to the cabins. The whole time my heart is beating like crazy and I’m way more exited than I should be, just from walking next to a boy.
When we’re close both of us stop. “Thanks for hanging out,” I whisper.
“No problem. I’m kind of a night owl.”
“Oh,” I say. We’re just standing there and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. I wish I was older. And more like Sadie Ann so that I could lean forward and like kiss him or something, just because I want to. If I were Sadie Ann, maybe I could totally know if he wanted to kiss me, too. I am completely lost. I’m sure she’d kissed lots of boys by the time she was fifteen.
“See you later,” I say.
I make it ten steps away, yes, I counted, when his voice stops me. “Wanna do it again tomorrow night?”
My smile is so huge I know I’ll look like the biggest loser in the world if I turn around, so I don’t. “Yeah,” I say. “Yeah, I do.”
That was how it began, our summers of sneaking out and watching the stars. Where we shared our secrets with each other and the night. We’d meet in secret and sometimes sit in my favorite spot. Other times, we’d head down the lakeside and I would pretend we could walk forever. I think I was really the one pretending and Nathaniel just listened. I wanted those summer walks with that summer boy to be my way out of The Village forever. But, really, I knew that couldn’t happen. Nathaniel would leave and I would be the one who stayed.
“Thanks for helping me wash the boats,” I tell Alec as we work on the second to last one.
“Don’t I always help? Plus, it’s my job,” he replies. At that I give him a small laugh.
“Most of the time you help, but you’ve been super busy this summer. I think Brandon has replaced me as your best friend.”
“Shut up. You know you’ll always be my best friend, Charlie. Brandon just likes ball as much as I do. He’s cool.” Alec looks away and starts scrubbing the boat again, his blond hair hanging in his face. He’s still been working at The Village and if I’m being honest, I guess it’s not that he hangs out with Brandon all the time, but it’s different. Alec has never ditched me for a guest before, though I guess he’s right. They are both obsessed with football and we don’t get a lot of people close to our age that would want to hang out and play as much as Brandon does.
Still, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to tease him. “He’s cool. You sound like you’re in awe of him!” Which in a way makes sense considering Brandon is supposed to be really good. Nathaniel says there’s no doubt he’ll play college ball.
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Alec grabs the hose and turns it my way.
“No! Alec you better not!” I’m wearing a plain tank top and cut off shorts like I always am, and a pair of flip-flops. None of these articles will hold up well against a hose assault.
Alec steps closer.
“I said no, Alec Andrews!”
It really gets him when I add in his last name like that. Alec pulls the trigger to douse me in water. I scream and stick my hand in the bucket, ridiculously trying to fling water at him with a soppy sponge. Alec laughs when I give up and try to take cover. I turn to run and don’t make it very far before I’m crashing into someone. I bounce off of whoever it is, assuming it’s Dad who is going to freak out because Alec and I are playing around instead of working, but as soon as a pair of hands come out to catch me, I know it’s not Dad.
It’s Nathaniel.
Alec stops spraying and I stand there with Nathaniel’s hands on my arms. I shiver and hope he thinks it’s from being wet when really it’s because he could totally be letting me go by now and he’s not.
“What are you guys doing?” Nathaniel asks. I'm a total sucker for the backward way he wears his hat.
“Workin’,” I say, which is sort of silly because it’s obvious we’re not. My eyes take him in and I realize his t-shirt is all wet. “You’re all wet. Crap. I’m sorry.”
At that, he laughs. “I’m pretty sure you’re the one who’s all wet.”
His eyes trace down my body and I can’t help but look down, too. Oh my God! My white tank top is sticking to my embarrassingly small boobs. You can see my bra through it. I pull away from him and bump into Alec, who I totally forgot was there.
“Chill, Charlie,” Alec says.
Pulling away from him, I cross my arms over my chest.
Nathaniel looks at me, then Alec, and back to me again. I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking, wishing his eyes or his face would tell me something.
“I came to see if you guys want to do something,” Nathaniel says.