Sometimes I thought how strange it was that I knew about such things, such vast and ancient matters, I who had not known anything outside the compound walls till I was six, who had not known the name of the country I lived in till I was eighteen! When I was new to the City someone had spoken of "Voe Deo," and I had asked, "Where is that?" They had all stared at me. A woman, a hard-voiced old City rentswoman, had said, "Here, Dusty. Right here's Voe Deo. Your country and mine!"
I told Esdardon Aya that. He did not laugh. "A country, a people," he said. "Those are strange and very difficult ideas."
"My country was slavery," I said, and he nodded.
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By now I seldom saw Ahas. I missed his kind friendship, but it had all turned to scolding- "You're puffed up, publishing, talking to audiences all the
time," he said. "You're putting yourself before our cause."
I said, "But I talk to people in the Hame, I write about things we need to know. Everything I do is for freedom."
"The Community is not pleased with that pamphlet of yours," he said, in a serious, counseling way, as if telling me a secret I needed to know. "I've been asked to tell you to submit your writings to the committee before you publish again. That press is run by hotheads. The Hame is causing a good deal of trouble to our candidates."
"Our candidates!" I said in a rage- "No owner is my candidate! Are you still taking orders from the Young Owner?"
That stung him. He said, "If you put yourself
first, if you won't cooperate, you bring danger on us
all."
"I don't put myself first — politicians and capitalists do that. I put freedom first. Why can't you cooperate with me? It goes two ways, Ahas!"
He left angry, and left me angry.
I think he missed my dependence on him.
Perhaps he was jealous, too, of my independence, for he did remain Lord Erod's man. His was a loyal heart. Our disagreement gave us both much bitter pain. I wish I knew what became of him in the troubled times that followed.
There was truth in his accusation. I had found that I had the gift in speaking and writing of moving people's minds and hearts- Nobody told me that
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such a gift is as dangerous as it is strong. Ahas said I •was putting myself first, but I knew I was not doing that. 1 was wholly in the service of the truth and of liberty. No one told me that the end cannot purify the means, since only the Lord Kamye knows what the end may be. My grandmother could have told me that. The Arkamye would have reminded me of
it, but I did not often read in it, and in the City there were no old men singing the word, evenings. If there had been, I would not have heard them over the sound of my beautiful voice speaking the beautiful truth.
I believe 1 did no harm, except as we all did, in bringing it to the attention of the rulers of Voe Deo that the Hame was growing bolder and the Radical Party was growing stronger, and that they must move against us.
The first sign was a divisive one. In the open compounds, as well as the men's side and the women's side there were several apartments for couples. This was a radical thing. Any kind of marriage between assets was illegal. They were allowed to live in pairs only by their owners' indulgence. Assets' only legitimate loyalty was to their owner. The child did not belong to the mother, but to the owner. But since gareots were living in the same place as owned assets, these apartments for couples had been tolerated or ignored. Now suddenly the law was invoked, asset couples were arrested, fined if they were wage earners, separated, and sent to company-run compound houses. Ress and the other elderwomen who ran our house were fined and warned that if "immoral arrangements" were discovered again, they would be held responsible and sent to the labor
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camps. Two little children of one of the couples were not on the government's list and so were left, abandoned, when their parents were taken oft. Keo and Ramayo took them in. They became wards of the women's side, as orphans in the compounds always did.
There were fierce debates about this in meetings of the Hame and The Community- Some said the right of assets to live together and to bring up their children was a cause the Radical Party should support. It was not directly threatening to ownership, and might appeal to the natural instincts of many owners, especially the women, who could not vote but who were valuable allies. Others said that private affections must be overridden by loyalty to the cause of liberty, and that any personal issue must take sec-
ond place to the great issue of emancipation. Lord Erod spoke thus at a meeting. I rose to answer him. I said that there was no freedom without sexual freedom, and that until women were allowed and men were willing to take responsibility for their children, no woman, whether owner or asset, would be free.
"Men must bear the responsibility for the public side of life, the greater world the child will enter;
women, for the domestic side of life, the moral and physical upbringing of the child. This is a division enjoined by God and Nature," Erod answered.
"Then will emancipation for a woman mean she's free to enter the beza, be locked in on the women's side?"
"Of course not," he began, but I broke in again, fearing his golden tongue — "Then what is freedom for a woman? Is it different from freedom for a man? Or is a free person free?"
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The moderator was angrily thumping his staff,
•but some other asset women took up my question. "When will the Radical Party speak for us?" they said, and one elderwoman cried, "Where are your women, you owners who want to abolish slavery? Why aren't they here? Don't you let them out of the beza?"
The moderator pounded and finally got order restored. I was half-triumphant and half-dismayed. I saw Erod and also some of the people from the Hame now looking at me as an open troublemaker. And indeed my words had divided us. But were we not already divided?
A group of us women went home talking through the streets, talking aloud. These were my streets now, with their traffic and lights and dangers and life. I was a City woman, a free woman. That night 1 was an owner. I owned the City. I owned the future.
The arguments went on. I was asked to speak at many places- As I was leaving one such meeting, the
Hainishman Esdardon Aya came to me and said in a casual way, as if discussing my speech, "Rakam, you're in danger of arrest."
1 did not understand. He walked along beside me away from the others and went on: "A rumor has come to my attention at the Embassy. - . . The government of Voe Deo is about to change the status of manumitted assets. You're no longer to be considered gareots. You must have an owner-sponsor."
This was bad news, but after thinking it over I said, "I think I can find an owner to sponsor me. Lord Boeba, maybe."
"The owner-sponsor will have to be approved a»® 243 A-s
FOUR WAYS TO FORGIVENESS
by the government.... This will tend to weaken The Community both through the asset and the owner members. It's very clever, in its way," said Esdardon Aya.
"What happens to us if we don't find an approved sponsor?"
"You'll be considered runaways."
That meant death, the labor camps, or auction.
"0 Lord Kamye," I said, and took Esdardon Aya's arm, because a curtain of dark had fallen across my eyes.
We had walked some way along the street.
When I could see again I saw the street, the high houses of the City, the shining lights I had thought were mine.
"I have some friends," said the Hainishman, walking on with me, "who are planning a trip to the Kingdom of Bambur."