Rather than unbuttoning her white blouse, Allie pulled it off over her head – turning it inside out in the process. As she reached for the pullover, she saw Nicole’s eyes flicker across her scars, red against the white skin of her arms and torso. It was the first time anyone other than her doctors had seen what the accident did to her and, flushing, she hurried to pull the black top over her head.
Noticing this, Nicole shook her head. ‘Don’t be ashamed of your scars.’ Startled, Allie glanced over at her. ‘Be proud of them. They are a symbol of your survival. Of your strength.’
What bollocks, Allie thought, bristling. I’m not strong. I’m a failure.
But as they finished changing in silence Nicole’s words stayed with her. After all, she was alive, wasn’t she? She’d taken on two guys twice her size, and she’d won.
The scars were proof of that.
When she changed into her leggings, she didn’t try to hide the ugly red mark on her left knee.
Nicole waited for Allie to finish; they walked together into the training room where several dozen Night School students stretched and chatted on the blue exercise matting. When those near the door noticed Allie, they fell silent.
Feeling exposed, she looked around for familiar faces. Jules and Carter stood on the far side of the room with Lucas. Carter had his back to her but Jules nudged him and he turned to see. Their eyes met. He gave her a polite nod and then turned back to his conversation.
Looking at the back of his head, she swallowed hard, angry with herself.
What had she expected? For him to run over and hug her? Welcome her back to Night School?
Still, after their conversation this morning she’d hoped for more than this and it hurt a little. The pain was quick and sharp – an emotional bee sting – and colour crept up her cheeks.
Turning to Nicole, she scrambled to think of something, anything, to say so everyone would know she didn’t care one bit.
‘So… how are you?’ was all she could come up with.
I hate my own brain, she thought, anguished.
Nicole, though, missed nothing. ‘Fabulous, darling,’ she said with a delighted, musical laugh, as if Allie had said something clever and hilarious. ‘Should we go over here?’
She tilted her head away from Jules and Carter.
‘God yes.’ Allie couldn’t keep the relief from her voice.
As they sped across the room, someone called her name. Slowing, Allie turned to see Eloise walking towards them, a cheerful smile brightening her face.
Allie felt better instantly. The librarian was one of her favourite Night School instructors. Young and vivacious, she had always been someone Allie felt she could trust.
‘Welcome back to Night School,’ Eloise said, draping an arm across her shoulders. Then she lowered her voice. ‘Are you ready for this?’
It was clearly the question of the night.
‘I guess so,’ Allie said. ‘I mean… I hope so.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ Eloise said with absolute confidence. ‘I wanted to tell you about our plan.’
‘Plan?’
‘Because of the accident we need to ease you back into the physical work,’ Eloise explained. ‘We can’t just drop you in with everyone else – you’re not ready. So we’ve been working with your doctors on a strength-building programme for you. You’ll have two training partners instead of just the one.’ She grinned broadly. ‘And I’ll oversee your progress personally.’
Relief washed over Allie.Out of all the instructors, Eloise would have been her choice. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Nicole leaned into their conversation. ‘Who will her partners be?’
‘You for one,’ Eloise said, and Allie felt even more cheered.
‘And the other?’ Nicole asked.
Eloise looked at Allie. ‘How would you feel about having your old partner back?’
Hardly believing it was possible, Allie said, ‘Zoe? Really?’
The librarian’s grin widened. ‘Yep. The unholy alliance is back together, just as it should be.’
Allie smiled back at her. ‘Thanks, Eloise.’
‘Don’t thank me too soon,’ the librarian cautioned. ‘You’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of you. This isn’t going to be easy.’
But as Eloise walked away to talk to Jerry Cole, Allie felt better. She wasn’t going to have to do this all alone.
‘All right, gather up everyone.’
At the sound of Zelazny’s booming voice she hurried to join the others encircling the history teacher. In the centre of the training room he stood ramrod-straight, his pate glistening through his thinning hair in the fluorescent light. His pale blue eyes scanned the group for anyone not paying full attention.
‘We will start tonight as we did earlier this week with some basic krav maga techniques, so pair up with your partners, do some quick stretching and then we’ll begin.’
As the students broke up into pairs, Allie looked around in confusion.
Krav maga?
Carter had told her things had changed down here since the attack. Now she was starting to see what he meant.
‘There you are.’ Dashing up to her, Zoe grabbed her hand and began pulling her to the back of the room. ‘Did you hear we’re going to be partners again? It’s about time.’ She glanced at Allie critically. ‘I hope you don’t slow us down too much. You’re really out of shape.’
Allie winced. Next to her, Nicole fought a giggle.
‘Zoe, sometimes you are a little… too honest,’ Nicole said.
‘Too honest?’ Zoe asked blankly.
Over her head, Nicole and Allie exchanged bemused looks.
‘Never mind,’ Allie said. ‘Does anybody know what we’re supposed to do now?’
Nicole pointed to the side of the room, where Eloise stood waving them over.
Crossing the room with Zoe on her left and Nicole on her right, Allie was conscious of other Night School students watching them and she raised her chin and lengthened her stride – hoping she looked confident. Fearless.
‘Just ignore everyone else,’ Eloise said when they arrived. ‘We’re having our own exercise party.’
So, as the other students practised dangerous-looking martial arts moves, throwing each other to the floor in complex ways and fighting over fake weapons, the three girls were an oasis of calm, warming up with a series of yoga stretches. Gentle as they were, every single one hurt Allie in some way – as if they sought out each injury and poked it hard. But she kept that to herself, biting her lip when she wanted to cry out.
At some point, though, Eloise must have seen the pain in her face, because she whispered, too quietly for the other girls to hear: ‘This will get better. One day you’ll notice it hurts less. And then it will hardly hurt at all. I promise.’
Relieved somebody had seen through her, Allie nodded fiercely. She needed to believe those words. She had to get strong again.
Strong enough to fight.
When training ended, Allie was exhausted. She’d sweated more than she ever thought possible and her muscles felt so worn she wobbled when she walked.
She took a long shower to give herself time to recover. By the time she’d dressed, the other girls had gone and she was alone in the changing room.
The big room felt different when it was empty – sounds were hollow, and shadows seemed to move for no good reason. She threw on her clothes and hurried out – to find Sylvain leaning against the wall in the corridor.
At the sight of him, tall and lean, his blue eyes watching her cautiously, her heart sped up.
‘Hey,’ she said. ‘What’s up?’
‘Nothing.’ But he said it with such elaborate insouciance she knew he was faking it. ‘I just thought I’d walk up with you.’